Living Life By Your True Values
This is John. John is my guest. Today is Dr John De Martini. He is a world renowned specialist in human behavior. A researcher author author and global educator on his most recent books has called the values factor the secret to creating inspired and fulfilling life. So let's talk about values. Shall we welcome John. Thank you for having me. Thank you appreciate the time here. So let's give people a little I read kind of the official stuff that you do. But let's give giving people a little bit of background. How'd you get here to to where you are today? Well I was a I started when I was seventeen. Actually I I had a dream to travel the world into teach. I set out to do that at age. Seventeen almost eighteen and I god I. It just didn't give up on it. And I just kept of emerging. It had a learning problem as a child. I was told that I went in first grade. Never be able to read never ever built right now relocate Mounting never go very far in life and high school dropout was living on the streets from years and But then I met this amazing teacher named Paul Bragg when I was seventeen that made me after During his talk for the first time in my life I thought maybe I could to overcome learning problems. Someday I could read become intelligent and I'll tell you what that was the most inspiring night and the turning point of my life and I never gave upon. I had to. I learn how to pronounce words and spell and practice speech things. I had a speech problem and I just I never gave up on it. I just and this is is the thing I just love doing much so at seventeen you were still not reading or even speaking well. I didn't read my first book till I was eighteen was it was it ultimately neurological solar psychological. or well I had when I was very young I had a speech impediment so I had to go to Speech pathologist very young. And then I when I got into first grade I had what they defined. Now's dyslexia. I I wasn't able to put it all together together. The only way I've been through school by asking smart kids questions and and but but you know when you really really really really WanNa do something and there's no turning back on it you can turn your life around. That's what happened to me. Just I had such a desire to win and I never thought I'd ever be intelligent. I had a desire to be intelligent and man when I went out on the pursuit of that it was like a relentless pursuit that I I I had with. The help of my mother had read thirty words a day and pronounce them and spell them properly and put them in a sentence and say I could go to bed until at thirty new words a day when I was eighteen and my vocabulary groove and eventually took a ged in high school equivalency test and a college entrance exam. And and I went on and then I end up being a scholar so I I just never give up on IT I. I've read now over thirty thousand books and I just I love reading. I just love learning and you people might have heard me introduce you as a doctor John D. Martinez so you now have even achieved advanced degrees. Yeah did I did ten years. Here's a college in almost in. Yeah I just. I wanted to be a teacher philosopher heater. That's so high fulltime travel around the world today researching and teaching students all of the world today every country. So I've I've been quite Hundred and fifty four countries in this January one hundred fifty four and you reside you were telling me before we started recording Somewhat unique home I live on ship call. The world went on their most time. I'm traveling like my residential last eighteen years on a condominium private condominium ship that travels all over the world I often on his I travel placed. That's right so mentioned the name of one of your core works is called the values factor. I wonder if you could define that. Term values factor. Yeah well every individual regardless of gender or age or culture lives moment by moment by a set of priorities a a set of values themes that are most important to least important in your life an every in this hierarchy a set of values that they hold things that the most importantly sports so this set of values is unique to them and it determines how they perceive what they decide and how they act the the perception decisions Actions are dependent on these values and whatever's highest on their value they spontaneously inspired intrinsically to pursue and this this is where they'll excel and fulfill and expand whatever's low in their values lower in the party's they'll require extrinsic motivation to get them to do it so they'll need lead punishment if they don't do it rewarded. They do kind of things in order to get them to do it. And this is not where they excel. This is where they kind of held back and finding out what's really truly truly truly most important people's lives and structuring their life through prioritize action a delegation to pursue that it's extraordinary it capacity to build momentum and go on to greater achievement as an entrepreneur or is anybody in any field early. I'm fascinated by that. And that's what the values factor is How do we get people to live concurrently in line with what they value most so they can be inspired so let me make sure? I'm I'm hearing this right. You're suggesting that people have these values even if they haven't it really associated words or names with them you're saying that they make decisions based on them and part of the job is to figure out what they are. Well if you ask somebody what their values are they'll tell you social cliches and ideologies and I'd idealisms that are injected in inculcated from individuals individuals like mothers fathers preachers teachers conventions traditions mores of the society that their subordinates and conforming to but I'm not interested in that I'm interested in what their life demonstrates I look at. I have thirteen value determined to help look objectively what their value determined. Germans are so how do they feel their space because things are really important to me fill their space with how they spend their time. They find time time spent time on things that are truly valuable. What is it the energizes when they're doing something on their values? The energy goes up there not to damage goes down. Wears their money. Being spent look carefully at how they spend their money tells you what the priorities are where they most organized and ordered where they most disciplined disciplined spontaneously. What is that they think about visualizing affirm inside internally dialogue with themselves about how they want their life that shows evidence coming true not fantasies but what are they converse with other people about most about what they wanNA keep bringing the conversation to what inspires brings a tear of inspiration to there is what exactly is it? The consistent persistent goals that they've been pursuing that are actually coming true not the ones fantasies that are self-defeating and what is the thing that they love studying about reading about learning about in listening to I look at those value determines to get a clear understanding what their life is truly demonstrating not their fantasies about what they hope it will be. However would you suggest also that there are a lot of people that fifty sixty seventy eighty percent of their lives? They're living outside of those things that you just described exactly. Most people people are comparing themselves to others putting on others on their pedestal. Minimize themselves into the pit living vicariously through other people paying high nine dollars for other people's brands instead of building brand around themselves and they are basically doing one. Emerson warned not to do n being imitating people which is sort of a death breath sentenced to their their self worth their empowerment and key. The key is to giving themselves permission to not subordinate to the world on the outside but to let the voice navision vision on the inside direct their destiny and take command of their life as as Ernest Becker says instead of conforming to the collective heroes you WANNA BE A. They'd be the individual hero within and so in the process of doing it. Most people don't give themselves permission to do that. They they live in the shadows of others instead of on the shoulders of giants.