How procrastination is About Managing Emotions, Not Time.
I want to expand on something I. talked about in last week's Podcast, and that's procrastination because many of us are really getting stuck in this in the time of Cove Ed, and now back to school is happening and parents specifically, mothers are sitting back and procrastinating their own needs in lieu of, of course, taking care of their kids. So I wanted to touch on a couple of deeper things when it comes to procrastination I'm going to be quote mostly from an author, a professor of psychology rather from University Tim Pikal and he writes for psychology today. So I've been playing as I normally do lots of different information. Blogs. so that I can share them with you. One thing I want you to hear today is that. Most People Associate Procrastination with laziness it is not laziness. It's not failure. It's not an motivation it's not distraction. It's something deeper. It's mostly an unease, an unwillingness process emotions. It's not about time management. It's about emotional management which makes sense. If you really think about how you go about procrastinating, you start to learn you become more aware of the fact that you're trying to not feel a certain way, which is why procrastination and perfectionists them are Yin and Yang to each other Pikal goes on to explain in his book solving the procrastination puzzle. That procrastination is a voluntary delay of an intended act despite the knowledge that this delay may harm us. That is procrastination is by definition in irrational behavior because it runs counter to our own idea of what's going to make us happy. Specifically, he goes on to say procrastination isn't emotionally focused coping strategy to do with negative emotions. It goes something like this. We sit down to do a task. We project into the future about what the tax will feel like we predict that the task will not feel good meaning that we're going to stress out. We're GONNA feel bad and our emotional coping strategy kicks in to keep us away from that bad feeling. Therefore, we avoid the task this emotional void in technique that our brain takes on. Often subconsciously employees in such a way that is similar to what underlies many types of anxiety people with anxiety often do everything we can to avoid the perceived external threat and then we shut off access to both. Good and bad feeling which of course, leads us toward depression but also peaks anxiety when we're confronted with getting things done in our internal world in this brain that's been produced for us. What happens is that we procrastinate and when we procrastinate were avoiding the task with the assumption that the task isn't going to feel good and that means we're missing out on feeling something good an accomplishment or a success. Another Study Co authored by Dr Michael Fallon links between procrastination and negative emotions like frustration and resentment. Hello resentments. And that makes it even more difficult to cope with potential negative emotions. We predict our task will create. So instead of feeling even worse we opt for something that makes us feel good like our phone or petting the dog or multitude of other things giving into feel good. Is the term given to this phenomenon win? We seek short-term good feelings at the cost of long term satisfaction something that most of us learn in those early years of being a toddler, what we're doing is were giving in to. This hijacking of our brain by the inner critic we're leading this voice takeover us that says, oh no, no, no, no. No you don't want to do something Mike Start the project, get the ball rolling. You need to run far away from that because you are anticipating that you're going to feel bad. So your fight flight or freeze kicks said your inner toddler Hickson the inner critic takes over. Here's what's really interesting about what this fella found out. He noted that the relationship between self compassion and procrastination. Because it's both counter intuitive and Oso revealing is. Foundational to how we cope with