Listen: Hillary Frank, New York Times And Jonathan discussed on Fresh Air
"Going to be like for you? As a new mother who still in pain having a deal. I was just kind of all the physical stuff of moving. I mean, a move like that takes enormous stamina and decision making while you have a new baby. And you're not feeling well, it was hard and we got help. But the hardest part was moving to a place where I knew nobody and Jonathan was going off every day to work to this exciting new extremely demanding job. And I was home with the baby. And it was it's so weird. How you can be. So alone and yet with another person twenty four hours a day when you're with the baby, and I was trying desperately to make new friends and it took a while before. I did what kind of games did all of this play with your identity mean you'd been a radio producer. You had, you know, freelance reporter you had written. I think three young adult novels. Yeah. And now you're in a new a new city was actually more of a a suburb in you're used to living in the city. You didn't know the people in in your town. You didn't have a job you were a new mother. So you had to be, you know, with the baby time you were still healing from your childbirth injury. So what kind of games at all that play with your identity? I felt like I had one identity, and it was mom, and that was it. And I had never been mom before. And I just felt I felt really empty. I felt like a shell of myself. Yeah. I just I felt like my only reason for existing was keeping this other little person alive and I loved her. I wanted her. I wanted her to thrive, but but I just felt like everything else had disappeared. Did you feel guilty that you weren't feeling like the warm glow of motherhood and feeling just all like beautifully nested, not guilty? I guess resentful. Like that was supposed to be coming to me like the the glorious beautiful childbirth. I didn't get that. And then I and then I didn't get like the beautiful glow of motherhood after either wasn't liberating for you. When you transferred to podcasts from radio in the sense that aren't radio the language that you can use to describe sex or childbirth or are injury is so limited because of FCC regulations, there's a lot that you can't say because it's broadcasting whereas you could say whatever you want to your guests could say whatever they want to. In terms of the language that they used when once you were doing podcasts, and yeah. And and particularly when you're talking about, for instance, like sex after childbirth or just like the physical process of childbirth itself. There's there's language that you just can't use on the radio. Yeah. I mean, I think at first I was so used to doing things on the terrestrial radio way that I didn't even realize the options that were available to me other than like the random curse word here. And there, and then, you know, a friend said to me, if you're really if you're really going to talk about parenthood, you're going to have to talk about sex, and I was like, no. I couldn't I can't. And then I thought oh we have to we should. And I was at that time based at WNYC, which you know, is a is a public radio station, and but but I was doing a podcast with them. And so I did have this freedom. And so I decided well, we're going to go for it. We're going to do a sex and parenthood series and. They had to create on the back end of their web platform. They had to create an explicit button. For me. So that we could do this and label the episodes explicit. And that felt like an achievement. Right. Well, I wanna take a short break here. And there's lots more to talk about when we come back. I wanna ask you better New York Times op Ed piece that you just wrote. So we'll be right back after a short break. If you're just joining us, my guest is Hillary Frank, and she is the creator of the podcast, the longest shortest time about childbirth and parenting and her new book is about unusual parenting strategies. And it's called weird parenting wins. We'll be right back. This is fresh air. Support for NPR comes from this station"