"Welcome everybody to the healing play. Spot had guests. I'm your host Terry. Well broken super excited to have with me today. We Scott Bolsa. Welcome Louise Thank you Terry. I'm excited Oh see. I'm just over the topic cited to have you here to talk your executive director of Echo Trauma survivors while we were just talking for a few minutes before he ends up. You know Mike Trauma History. Yes so if you WanNa have an opportunity talk about yours certainly do yes to talk to us about Echo in what it is as you're doing there well echo has been going through some evolutions. We started out as has a parenting nonprofit day Nevada parenting and gradually as I started to learn more about Trauma Matt starting in two thousand ten when I read The New Yorker obstacle about an Jean Burke Harrison. Her work in Oakland. referencing a study I started to realize as a parent of a fifteen year old that I have been learning. These great new parenting strategies ages on strategies is a complete change in mindset. You know going from my strict northern European compliance based parenting to Morgan attachment style. Parenting and I realized that I now felt worse. Because I knew what to do and I still couldn't do it. And that was my trauma and when I first let how ubiquitous this is because the study and then began to dig a bit deeper about what what is the impact of trauma on the brain on our bodies specifically Simkin Eva's system. It all began to make sense. I'm sure you had the same revelations like okay it all makes sense now so we started. I started introducing the trauma piece. I'm pretty soon. People will come into our parents. Educators Certification Course Nagas. They wanted to teach a parenting curriculum but because they wanted to learn about the trump repeat. That was really the only show in town. And then I can't say that it points to any great management a business sense to to realize oh APPs we should be doing trainings in and so we started doing professional development rebounds work and by the way this also too long because I could just go on go on Alad. One name is even going to say wouldn't when I read and it was on the website and looking at everything that you're doing and the there's the professional development part of it in trauma but also with resiliency which is another big part of it as well absolutely. I mean who wants to be told when they study that. Have GonNa Die Twenty Years Birdie if that was school floor I know. I've scored nine out of ten and I was like and it's is completely Just really looking at the gloss off empty because we hear you know we did survive. We have some skills because otherwise we wouldn't be here and it's if you get stuck in that victim mentality than it's going to be very hard to look forward to a place where you know this. The three stages of recovery rates safety remembrance Brinson Moaning and done reconnection students harmon but most at least at the the end of the last century. The tradition was that we would go with do the mourning and remembrance and mourning and remembrance and mourning in remembrance number inside moaning and remember we would never get to the reconnection pot and so focusing on resilience focusing on post traumatic Matt Gross. I'm definitely in that direction and I have a lot of empathy for people who are not yet So no no one's pushing anyone in to a foster recovering than than they are wanting or needing but at least we can sign post. There is a place beyond this place of reconnection and also celebrate the resilience. That's kept you alive thus spa and if we also look at if we look at some of these adaptive behaviors. It is so much more useful goal to say. This has kept me alive and is it still alive serving. Because if it's not I can I can leave that now and thank you lookie pigmy allies however dysfunctional. The strategy now seems it kept me ally ch and I think that the most important don't Several things that are really important to me one of them. Is that when you really understand about woman resilience no longer feel. Let your freak like your broken lake. That was something wrong with you when you were on this. Some mystical typical thing that happened to your psyche and is going to take years and years and years in the really skilled psychotherapist assault. Sorak because you'll never be able to sold dot yourself. I just know that hey again determined. These are normal reactions to admiral. Circumstances axes to work with right. Your bike is like being told. Oh you'll having these fainting spells because you're pre diabetic. Oh now I can do something about that. I can change my diet. And it's the same requirement so that's one housing second thing I love is a so much compassion for ourselves and for the people when you realize okay. I totally a reacted in that situation but if you look at my trauma history. I wasn't overreacting. I was working reacting completely in proportion to everything. That's happened to me. It just didn't seem like a proportionate response in the moment so I can have compassion for myself. Anna can also start looking at okay. How do I stop the pasta intruding into the present but with this degree of compassion for yourself and it also gives you a degree of compassion for other people and in a fractured world is not beautiful? Yes the two two things came to my wine. You choked me up at first when you first when you said thank you to that Reaction that you had the panic attack that I thought about hot in my head of meat thanking this panic attacks because even though I knew rationally this is not. I wasn't endanger I. It truly was protecting me from something that I felt on a molecular level that I was in danger. And so what a beautiful way to put that. Yeah awesome and then the second one popped out in my head so I don't know we'll finish your question. Either you'll find a butterfly mind. So why do someone's going to need to track compensation Beautiful piece of art exactly going back to the Lucien of ECHO so to use a dachshund for about Weinstein and he is. He's a people. Don't what to say when I say that. And for those people who cat to think hard about what to say they usually say I'm so sorry and and that actually isn't very helpful because it makes me feel like that fifteen me okay. Gene into another person's feelings and needs is important and that's really empathy and not a long time ago. You have to awesome. How do you feel about that and for me when I read the story and realized? Oh Oh gosh. I wasn't the only one we really stupid ninety women later but I saw that hobby was gonna Sue the women in the New York Times article. Some of them might become reckless subsequently. And I'm like no. I'm not GonNa let that happen. This happen to me too. I mean I wasn't raped by him. Thank God but certainly the preamble the MO was in evidence. And I wasn't going to get away with it and so I don't they feel like I won't pity I I don't WANNA be ignored which which is what's been happening in the last two years to a lot of us? Who came forward for various reasons? But but I don't I don't really pitchy and the to me. It was an amazing opportunity to use this as a platform to talk about trauma and to try and took an on nuanced way about what we were looking at here. And it's still not there was still because of rape culture. I feel like the filmmakers generalists. Anyone who gives a damn is still needing to paint this really dichotomies picture of Evil Evil Predator. Sweet little innocence survivor. Because we have to make that obvious people are still blaming the victim and yet there is so much more to talk about in terms of tremendous. That was my blog entry on a connection DOT com. Yeah I'm on the block piece was what hobby-wise in taught me about Truman. And by that time you know. That was the Monday at INC after the Thursday New York. Times article. Hobby it step down. I thought it was a letter by shouting and no idea that two years later a we'd still be waiting for the trial would still be in the midst. But that's that's really what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about In a wooded that tell me about my response what did it tell me about hobby. What did it tell me about Power Dynamics and you know would. Interestingly what ended up happening is it taught me about survivors. And what it made me realize is I had been kind of undercover because I had come into this world not as a mental health professional and learning about the trauma reading vessel van der Kolk resonating with every single page excuses score being padres disconnection community and. I have always this kind of being in a profession where in social science Jim said and so I was jammed packing why trainings with I'm research studies and citations. 'cause I kind of felt a little bit like I was an impostor that this world longed to psychology not to Louise got old off autism and what. I'm realising is when we have these talking heads who talk about trauma and they talk about us about our experience specifically dishonest breakers. Whether that's Weinstein cosby whomever I get mad. God like wait a minute. You know having guy talking about sexual assault and showing a clip from a film Tom to describe one of his points because he doesn't know what that is like and so I think what we need is trauma informed phone survivors Because we have spied wisdom and I think that's why people resonate with the trainings that we do because it's not just clinical information clinical in the sense of Divorced and antiseptic. But I think that this pot of the training that I do this on responses and really unpacking a lot of behaviors on what's going on behind it. Which of your nervous system I you in? How is that serving you in some way as a survival response? How is that surge in the cost? How how is that the pasta treating the present? Why does that make sense? You know if someone's feeling chronically unsafe then Sunday loaded behaviors make sense breath and that can only be."