A highlight from Detransition, Baby
Felt to be here. Yeah i read your book earlier this year and i was like completely obsessed with it. I it's one of the books that i just like. Every time i had a conversation with a friend i was like. Have you read. D transition baby yet. Like you have to read this book. I honestly recommended it like no less than one hundred times. So i am very excited to get to talk with you about it but for anybody who hasn't had the pleasure of reading it yet. How would you describe the transition baby. You know. I think my elevator pitch basically. It's the story of race. Who's this transmitter. Woman in her thirties in brooklyn and you can sort of think of her as like a fleabag ask character and the action kicks off when her ex. Who's a determination transplant now. Living as a man aims approaches are and is like. I got my boss pregnant. You've always wanted to be a mom. do you. to make like a family together. Yeah which is a pretty wild premise. Since the first chapter so yeah well. One of the first things that caught my eye was the dedication on the very first page so the book is dedicated to divorced ciswomen. And i'd love to hear you talk a little bit about the connections. You see between trans lemon and divorced. Ciswomen you know it's it's funny. I made that dedication. And then i i wrote it said i. I wrote that dedication. Pretty early on in like the writing process and It was funny. Because i forgot that i also devore say sounds like certainly acts on a dedicated to myself. This woman diversify but basically happens where i was like I was in my mid thirty s hours. Like looking around for like basically How do you live. Not how do you be a woman which is so much of what the transition processes. But like once you've arrived what do you do now and And i think it's a funny moment for trans on to figure this out. So i was asking like older towns around. How do you do it. And they're like we're not sure because the opportunities for us are so different than they were ten years ago and i started reading all these. I found myself reading these books by divorce. Us one like that was the only thing i want to read. I want to like ferraro. Rachel costs gone through jenny awful. I wanted to read sue. I just like. I wanted these stories of women who were starting over at some point in their life and i rise i was like oh the trajectory of transition for me. The trajectory of divorce are really similar. It's like you live your life harboring or live your life like working or operating under certain religions and then suddenly there comes a point where those illusions no longer work or they fail and you have to kind of start over. Only you have to start over without those illusions that you've relied on so long and you can't get better and the people who had to sort of game plan for doing that and sort of told stories about this is what it means to starting over thirty five or thirty or forty five or whatever. We're divorced women. And they had a game plan to deal with things like bitterness game plan for delight with dealing living and i just felt like oh i actually learned so much from conversations with divorce. Lemon actually think that. I is something to say back as a trans amendment are some thoughts about gender some thoughts about my process to say back to them and maybe we could enter a conversation. I love that one of the things that also kind of has stuck with me is throughout the book. You use the word transsexual and you use it a lot and I kind of caught me by surprise. Because i am this person. I miss this woman And i've really learned to stay away from that word i've learned. That's that's not a word that lead us anymore I would love to hear you talk about why you choose to use it. And what kind of appeals to you. About that word i mean. It's funny when i used to. It wasn't really a choice. Like i hadn't thought like i get asked about that word a lot and i just use it. Because that's what my friends use lincoln it was. It's actually just like my vocabulary. And sunday was like why using offensive word and i was like oh was it offensive like because that's just how my friends and i are. We describe each other as transexual and that actually makes the way that language is constantly evolving. What is like the okay to say so that like and you go back to. The sixty s transsexual was polite word and it was a roux. Specific word for like if you've had some surgery but not all the surgeries you're a chance actual whereas if you had all of the surgers your a sex change like sex. Change was a noun and now to call somebody. A sex change would be like the most horribly offensive thing you could say like. Hey you're a sex chain right but then kind people started saying like. Oh that's suck. Strangers offensive will use the other word sexual and then there was like bigger umbrella of transgender that included all these different types of people. But for me and my friends. I think we use the word transexual. Just because it's a funnier word gets his pulpy seventies word. You know if you're gonna call yourself something you call yourself the thing that like you mark often the doctor's office and you want to call yourself.