How to Connect with Your Children

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

To the Oprah Winfrey, show the podcast. This is a really important show I learned something every day on this show. That's how I I know that we've done a good show and when we were talking about the bluest eye, which is one of my still one of my favorite books of all time with Tony Morrison she said something that really the little hairs on our heads raised when she said what children are really looking for in life is not you know whether or not you went to Disneyworld or didn't go to Disneyworld or how much money you have because the truth of the matter is we do shows all the time mother's talking about how his whole so hard to. Keep money going in the family and give your kids all the things they want. But Tony Morrison said something I will never forget I share with you. Again, your children want to know, do your eyes light up when they enter the room and that's really what they're looking for. So we wanted to help parents learn how you can spend more conscious attentive time with your children because I see it. Through our guests on the show through your emails and letters, you all are driving yourselves running yourself into the ground trying to give give give give to your kids when really all they want is you Nancy Katie she's a mother of three who's worried that when her children are grown, they won't have any fun memories of their childhood and here's what Nancy told us. I feel like every day we're going through the motions of being. Connected family but. We're not. By three children, a business husband and our houses crazy seven days a week. So when you're done with this. Reading okay. Don't really have the downtime this war with my children because in my mind, there's always something else whether it's a load of laundry to be folded or the dishwasher to be loaded. I ended up putting off the time that I I want to spend with him and then it just doesn't happen. I feel that. Even, though I love the more that anything. that. They're not gonNA realize it. Because on a daily basis, what they're seeing is that that's not the priority they just want my time. And my attention. Without interruptions. Missile. My year old she'll just start talking and talking talking and then I see myself almost like an out of body experience not listening one hundred percent. It makes me feel like I'm a terrible mom. I don't feel like I know my children as well as I want to know them. That way sitting aside when we occasionally have a meal together which I can't even say happens once a week. It's almost an awkward state where we don't even know what to say to each other. I think the the kids don't even realize that there's a disconnect going on that the craziness in our lives on a daily basis as normal to them I have the time with them, but it's not the time that they're going to remember when they get older and. And that's the part that makes me sad because I wish. That we were able to create the time with our children. That they would look back on WANNA pass that onto their children. So, we're doing this show for all the Nancy's out there because there are millions of you know who are afraid that you're gonNA regret the way you're living your life right now because you're in the middle of it and you already regret it, right? Yeah. Yeah. I feel that even if I had the time or made the time that, I, wouldn't even know what to do when that time came. Yeah that is bad dancy. That's a bad thing you're going to be. Changed by the end of the show hopefully did you see that show with Tony? About his Co. she was saying that what happens is you know and that she made the same mistake, your children come into the room and there's this critical basis critical I. It's cleanroom. Have you done your homework what your hair did you comb your hair? Did you the digital digital and that's what children end up feeling especially young children because they don't have the language of expression. Well, you're going to be so much better when this is over. Here. Sometimes it you feel like you have to earn the right to relax with your family right that there's always something else that could be done before I had to licensed to do that like a one to be folded or the dishwasher to be unloaded This amazing that with even with technology and our mothers who didn't have dishwashers and didn't have washing machines in because I. Remember you know seeing my remember the boiling close in hand on the line that even with all of this technology, it doesn't seem that it's it's helped the connection I, think sometimes it technology. Hurts it. We could be watching TV instead of talking that kind of thing that's come into our lives. Okay. Mary Heston realized that she was the mother of an unhappy household says, and that the source of that unhappiness was her but one little change in their kitchen of all places helped Mary, her husband, and therefore children start making some lasting memories and maybe you'll get to my real kids everything was running smooth. They slip through the night everything was clicking and with number four everything changed. It took every waking hour. There is no naptime because somebody always needed something. I was trying to be a good mom but trying to do everything at once swipe at really grumpy mostly I wasn't able to spend time with the older kids when they needed something I would snap at them and say and get it yourself. I'm busy. Just realized with the poor kids running around I wasn't connecting with a single one. It was like a panic. The big turning point was when we moved into the house, the kitten was really dark then I'd seen. Thing. On Home Improvement Show about using Mir's to lighten up room. I'd put the mirrors up in the kitchen and one day I looked up and saw my own face in the year and I looked grumpy I was tired and didn't. Like a good mom I was looking at the same face that they were about to see. I wouldn't want to see that face. The. Last thing before I left for school before I left for work and so I really started to try and make. A positive change just in my attitude my husband and I started getting up before the kids and he would make coffee and we'd sit down in our sunroom and just have a little bit of down time together before the kids woke up and I was so much calmer. and greet them with a smile. And it just changed the whole attitude atmosphere of the day. Look. So, when I started out in the morning with smile everybody else started out with a smile and being calm and the NFL now so I can give them a hug. I stopped trying to do things for my kids and started doing things with my kids. Forget I know you know how to fall and that was a huge difference you've been holding on being able to make connection. It all comes down to how you start Your Day That's

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