Listen: The Woman on a Mission to Help Leaders Soar Through Life's Ups and Downs
"Journey to becoming a leadership coach and consultant started when you were only thirteen years old so i WanNa hear that story. Thank you for asking that question. It's always nice to go back to the beginning so so when I was thirteen eighteen my father went to jail and that was the moment in my journey where I really stepped into to a leadership position in my household without any of the context that they have now as naturally stuffed into it naturally stepped into it it was just it was it was a need and I was definitely a very sensitive child so I was aware of You know things that were not being being said or things. That weren't being addressed. It might have needed to be It was also a very pivotal time in my life where I made a decision didn't to suppress my emotions in we'll talk more about this as I share my work with your with your audience but it was it was when I created some kind of definition that being a leader meant that I had it altogether. I had all the answers yeah and that I didn't really let myself feel so it started you know in those in those early days because of the context of what was happening within my family so were you the oldest where where were you in the mix soon with the youngest. I have really young Yep Yep. I also have an older brother other and it was just the two of us and I think his journey was somewhat similar that he definitely felt like he had to stand stand up at at that time and take on a leadership role in we both handled it in different ways you know put your superwoman suit on and just Kinda envision Asian the empower young girl right standing with their arms out and I've got this exactly that's where that's where it's yeah and and so you had the emotions and I can totally relate him and I can totally relate to being a young girl from the perspective of when we were stepping into what we thought that were leadership roles in in doing what needed to be done as young girls. We thought we did have to be all our emotions had to be kind kind of hushed right most definitely you'll beyond having that believes that was a belief that I carried for me well well into my career and I'll talk more about that but there was also not necessarily adults role modeling had to be with the emotions or saying hey. There's a lot going on in your world right now. We need to talk you know or or we'd love to have you meet with a therapist focused or coach or a professional What's going on so part of the mix of it? All that was not part of the mix of it all so really set me. It really set me on my pass so you know where I am now like almost thirty years later I had such gratitude for going through a difficult time I am in my teenage years and in well into my twenties and I think many people can say you know we can find the find the gift in in any trauma or struggle struggle and so it has been my greatest gift because it's led me to be able to do this great work that I'm that I'm up to right now in the world. So when when did you start to realize that you needed to look at your emotions in acknowledged those emotions I was probably around twenty six twenty seven and I what I noticed was. There was two things one. I was noticing a pattern with me in intimate relationships was definitely things that were happening consistently and I was the common denominator so I thought I need to go look at this and then in my professional l. life what happened was I was promoted very early on into a leadership position and I at the time was working for McDonald's Donald restaurants and I had been promoted into the role like many young leaders because I had been very good at the role role than I that I was now managing and I was managing a group of community relations representative representatives across the province of Interior in Canada most of them Cami had been with the organization longer than had been alive and I was just failing brilliantly. I thought the belief of I had to have it altogether at all the answers I took that into the leadership role I also so thought that because I had had success in the role that if I just gave people might templates in my my way of doing it than they would have success to you know all all of us who've been leadership journey no that that's not that's not how it works right and so this is when I found the profession of coaching nine and I learned that really my role as a leader was to listen and to really be curious with the people that I was leading eating in and to really support them to come up with their own solutions and that it was just a huge moment for me that if I was going to be successful people people manager. I needed to learn how to be a successful coach and you know it's so interesting I think of so many people get promoted because they do ajab really well right they dig in. They do a job really well and then they put them into a leadership role in without that context around it and and we show up just doing what we think we are supposed to do. We think show up in that in the ego of Gosh. This isn't important important role in this is what I've got to this to lead this team and what I love. You're talking about here is this is this shifting this. That's right really starting to shift the Sun to listening to here to connect to be with the people that you are leading. We've got it you got it and it's I mean when I started to even before I took any formal training. I thought well I do know how to be more curious than I do. I do know how to listen that. Awareness just gave me more permission to be my true self and it really took a load off. It took the weight off my shoulders and I thought we'd a second. It's not so much of what I'm doing but it's more about who am I being with these people that is going to create and inspiration engagement perform high performance business results so I just sat back more like literally sat back in my chair more and started to ask for elections and within three months I saw the team taking great pride in developing their own local marketing plans to their specific region and then within four months. I saw the business needle move that that was that was my like. Oh okay. Let's go get some formal training now because there is a real not just I mean there's so much to that speaks to the the business result but also just the human component of you know being in a any environment but working with humans knowing how to really get the best people and bring out invest in them so where did she. You started getting more formal training and then how did you really step into the work that you're doing today yeah so one one of the things. I observed I did my formal coach training through the collective training institute and and they're the world's largest oldest in-person coach training and I took my first course and I witnessed such ability authenticity at the front of the room do with the leaders who were facilitating the course and I just thought okay to sell cheeseburgers. I WANNA be a bear I want to. I want to help other people like me who are like in business are out in the world and WanNa really have a better working. Relationships are better relationships in general and so I set myself on a path to become a certified coach and eventually became. I'm a part of faculty for See. Ti very good yes and what I noticed over. The years of working with adults was how how much we've been conditioned about that. If we're connected to our emotions it means that were weak or that in a professional environment environment or in a training environment. If we bring up sadness or anger even our joy that the impact is there's just such rush a self limiting belief that it's not okay to do so and this really really saddened me you know and this is what led me to the body of work that I'm involved in now and we can get more into that can make you want to jump in with a question so that's really what would took me on path right so the work that you're doing today is really bringing. Look you describe it. Instead of Matrix describe it yeah so in in working with adults in seeing this disconnect that we have as a culture with our emotions and all the self-limiting narratives additives another thing that I noticed is when I'd be working with adults and we talk about their children. That's when they would give themselves permission and to whether it was joy anger sadness but when it was in relation just to themselves they wouldn't they wouldn't necessarily necessarily expose themselves that way and I thought you know what I want to write a series of books that are four children but really I am going through the children to get to the adults because we know that adults read the books to the kids and beautiful pathway brilliant way to think that through through thank you so got in. That's what I did so I wrote a series of children's books called the adventures of Little Sas and the books are about this little girl that she goes on adventures and learns how to be with her emotions and teaches this process back through through through the books in the books. She has a mentor and the mentor's name is Mrs Mu and she's this wonderful healer woman that lives on her in her property and she gives little SAS a Kate a Red Cape and says you're GONNA have sad days angry days joyful days. Use this cape to feel your promotions. That's your right as a human being and so that's just what little SAS does in at the back of each book is a a conversation oversaturation piece. It's a discussion guide for the adult child to start to talk about that emotion. That's brilliant. I love this and I love the the the the foundation Dacian at your building for these children but also because so many parents in and I I I was a young parent so that my emotional emotional intelligence when I was a parent I was apparent at twenty years old and in you know so there. I had a lot to learn right. I was I was I was still evolving and growing at that point and no matter what age we become parents. I think we have the space of learning to finer own emotional intelligence with our children and in our lives and what a brilliant way to teach that thank you yeah I think it it's something we all week. We all struggle with. I've just seen a lot of friends and colleagues struggle with how much of their emotions do. They showed their children right. I mean just a lot of because you. WanNa put on the superwoman superwoman suit just like you know as a child is like we think we have to show up in these you know these all strong ways and what what you've learned really is and I so agree with you. I mean it's like you know as coaches as consultants are sharing our stories you you know the real story is a what is this podcast is about sharing the real stories because when we share our real stories people connect with people see see that you know there's that we're real people and I think that's such an important part of that. As a leader is learning to just be real being authentic who who we are. I couldn't agree with you more and that's it yeah so. I think it's really important to think about this. Whether we're an executive eh an entrepreneur or a mom leadership plays a role in how we move through life. What does that word leadership mean to you. Yes the way I've really adopted. CTI's definition of it which is everyone is a leader. Everyone is a leader like you said. It doesn't matter. If you're heading gap organization or a team Your your parent your teacher your community lead your sister."