Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage (Part 1 of 2)
So i had to do cleaning house of my idols and my thinking and it had to start with me that the lord had to work in me to work on how i was going to die because regardless of whatever guy did or didn't do even if he was sitting it did not mean that i had to sit and so i had to start being humble and saying okay. Lord trying to fix him isn't working on fixing me today. Were all about marriage and Umbrella joins us on focus on the family along with her husband guide to help you learn how to deescalate and have a more peaceful relationship with your spouse. Your host is focused president and author. Jim daly and i'm john fuller john. It's pretty normal for marriages to experience. The your focused president and author. Jim daly and i'm john fuller john. It's pretty normal for marriages to experience the ebb and flow of relationship. You have those beautiful days those wonderful moments and then you have the maybe not so wonderful moments like drive to tell you again. Where the milk is. I'm so source. Irritating things right Here's some encouragement from the book of hebrews. Jesus christ is the same yesterday today and tomorrow. Maybe not you or your spouse. But jesus and that's something to stand on no matter what things look like with your spouse today arrest in the fact that we have an unchanging god who is willing to come for you and help you and transform your marriage today. We're going to bravely trudge into some areas. That might be a little uncomfortable The triggers in your marriage every marriage has them and all of us need god's house to get through those things and kind of mature so those triggers don't trigger us right and and I've asked jean my wonderful wife and accountability partner with this. I think it's wonderful that we have gene along with us. And a guy. Amber leah our relationship coaches and co owners of faith and family production company in los and they've been married fourteen years and have four boys and they've written a book together called marriage triggers exchanging spouses angry reactions for gentle biblical responses. And we have that here at the ministry. Give us a call. Eight hundred eight family or click the link in the episode out. Get your copy. Welcome each and every one of you know. I'm really looking forward to this. I think it's one of the core communication issues in marriage. How do we not trigger each other. How do we better understand those triggers. And we're going to get into that guy. Amber you came up with the idea. So let's start with you. You describe your marriage as triggered from the start. That sounds a little frightening. Why was that the case in. Didn't you enjoy a little bit of a honeymoon period. Where he was going on the word little bit of a honeymoon period but not very long. Things moved very very quickly for us when we got married within. Within a couple of months we got pregnant and so we didn't have that time to kind of develop ourselves and get to know our density a young married couple We quickly shifted directly into parenting. And you know the extra room that was going to be. The fun room suddenly turned into the baby's room. And you know all the she'd my wife has a wonderful planner. And so she shifted into high gear planning mode and painting and all the things. I'm like wait a minute. What about me saying is evidence of your growth the fact that you just said. She's a wonderful planner. It sounded so heartfelt. No man she plans. Every i it still is. I can still be a thing. Those are one of the differences. We have in our relationship as she very much as the planner and she thinks ten steps ahead. And i'm very happy thinking one or two steps ahead and being in the moment and we we have to continually find that balance for ourselves. So i get to the baby part but before that even there were other stressors going on for the newlyweds listening that maybe going. Oh my goodness that's my wife. Or that's my husband. What were some of those other stressors opposites attract and there is some truth to that but it also creates a lot of everyday practical problems.