Adult Children of Emotional Abuse

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Today we're going back to the very root of our personalities as an adult. Are there times when you feel like you cannot trust people? You have a difficult time controlling your life or a difficult time showing any kind of feeling you can't confront people you resent criticism and feel like you just don't fit in. Please listen to this show because it may not be very happy one but it will hopefully change the way you feel about yourself and later in the show you will meet a man who will teach us has some specific examples of how to begin to rebuild your self esteem. Because we're not crazy enough to think of something you can do in an hour talk show before you meet our guests though. I'd like you to listen to our audience and take themselves back to their childhood for a moment and tell you the wards day remember ripping them apart inside. Do you WANNA go. First Y- I was adapted when I was just a baby and I remember back when I was real small. My parents telling me what had really happened. My real mother was saying well. I really wanted to keep you but your adoptive mother made me give you up in. My mother was saying well. She didn't want you in the she was. GonNa put you in a home so we took you well. How does that really make you feel? How did it it made me feel awful? I mean one way. They're saying I wanted you know she didn't want you know she didn't watch. You and I was totally confused. I think now. I'm venting my anger. And my frustrations in my knowingness towards my fifteen year old and I. I love him to death but I'm always telling him he's stupid and he's not stupid he might have had some problems with divorce and things like that but he's not stupid and I'm forever Tony. You can't do anything you don't do anything right or too stupid you know and you. Did you hear the same thing when you were growing up? People tell you that no no. They didn't but I think it's my not knowing where I really belonged. But it's not right to take it out on my my oldest your self esteem. Which is what. We're talking big time for a long time. I didn't feel that I was really worth anything. I didn't feel like I was really wanted anywhere. And how that affects. Your life is what we're talking about. Thank you yes yes I was put in a foster home and the foster parents would always tell me that my mother gave me to them because I was so ugly. You know they will say you ugly as homemade sand and they'd say all those kinds of things till has I've grown up now when I do meet somebody a guy or something and he says Oh you Kinda cute and I take it as. Maybe he's joking. He's trying to really be funny or something like that. So it's really hard. It's really hard to get off. You wanted to say what yes. I didn't have really anybody telling me that I was a terrible person but my father used to always criticized my weight when I was very young. I always swear that I was born in one hundred and fifty pounds and what he would do is he would make comments. Like if I was coming down the stairs he would sing to taxi and one time. I was so proud that I lost like ten pounds. But he kept saying but Laura. You're still so big so I sabotage that Diet in three times my life I lost over one hundred pounds and I think that one little criticism and I would shoot backup the weight and then some so finally about three years ago I did have my stomach stapled in thank God. The weight stayed off. But I think that when I was growing up to is he would criticize me. I would turn around and criticize my sister and call her names and stuff like that so I know that now as an adult with my own family. I do not want to repeat that next. You'RE GONNA meet my guest three adults who say that. The abuse that they received as children is just as dangerous and just as damaging as physical or sexual abuse. My first guest wrote this letter to me. She says I was raised by a stepfather. Who never once touched me. Who turned his head when my mother insisted that I kissed him goodnight. I recall him yelling his hatred. At me labeling me the goon of the family to this day I rarely express an opinion and even then expect to be shot down. Please welcome the woman who wrote this letter. Linda Janice Napier. We're glad to have you join US Linda. My next guest says that his mother told him she didn't want him. He says that his parents never had any time for him. They called him the bad boy and to this day people still make comments like you really not as bad as you said you were. He never remembers any love just abuse now as an adult. He's having great difficulty parenting his own children without using abusive words. He says that he truly does hate his mother for the abuse. Paul mccracken my next guest says. She was called every name in the book by her mother when she was a child and teenager and criticized hundreds of times everyday. She says she will never succeed in life because she just can't believe in herself Shannon rose. We're glad to have all of you join us here on the show. But we're trying to tackle is what I think is the root of all problems in the world. I believe that lack of self esteem is what causes war because people really love themselves. Don't go out and try to fight other people either in their backyard and their community and in the world. Don't you agree? It's the root of all problems for. Yes yes so you know when I was when I was growing up I can remember many times of just being humiliated not only in front of family members. You know. During holidays my mother would send us away from the table for acting like kids. I remember seven years old. She you know dressed me up in a towel as a diaper made me take the garbage out in front of all the neighbors just to show how bad of a boy was and try to make me feel is humiliated as possible and you did. I had no choice. You know as a child you know what I know. You had no choice to where the diaper the towel diaper did feel. I mean I can't imagine what that does to assemble. It totally destroyed my image of myself now. The only type of attention I got as a child was very abusive in almost neglectful. You know attention. My parents were always busy running around to all these social activities. My mother was very verbal about the fact that children should be seen and not heard now. I was adopted too and I was told that the age of eight that I really wasn't wanted my mother was a slut and a whore and she gave me up because she didn't have any way of taking care of me and my mother kept holding it up in front of my face saying hey you were chosen. We chose you and it's like well if you chose me. What what's the point? Why you didn't want me to begin with

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