"WHO's the person you turn to for love advice? Who knows how you're doing notices when something's wrong is it your mom your best friend or how about the man who sells you charcuterie? On Catherine downs essay is called need to find me. Ask My ham. I am man is read by Jenny. Sleet Jenny has a special on. Netflix called stagefright. She's also out with a new book. Called Little Weird's the man who sells Meeham is the first person who would notice if I were dead. Experienced supports this claim when my grandmother died unexpectedly three three years ago. I left Paris for the funeral without warning any of my local shopkeepers. This lead Misha Kutaragi salesman to believe that I myself was dead. Ed Alarmed by my continued absence and aware of my daily dining route. He hurried across the street to my wine guy to see if he had any news of me. I'm the human equivalent of a stray dog who wanders from shop to shop in search of whoever will give me a snack. My one guy hadn't seen me days either are so he called my friend who explained about the family emergency. When I finally returned from Boston there was no need to explain where I had been? The whole neighborhood had been alerted and they turned out with hooks condolences even chocolates. The Ham shop is barely larger than a coffin and stacked Florida Florida ceiling with pig. Parts I come for the snowballs baseball's of sausage stuffed with black truffles and coated in Parmesan cheese. I Day for the company. The Ham man is the biggest ham of all. He knows about every day I have. He even gave my phone number to a stranger where he thought I would like. I didn't. Ours is not exactly the normal relationship between a shopkeeper and patron but then again not one of of my food based friendships is what you'd call normal I snapchat with my cheese. Monger my Barista. Lets me sneak in last night's open bottle of champagne campaign to wash down my morning. DONUT my chocolate tears. Daughter studying in New York has my sister's number in case of emergencies I have have cried into my wind guys sweater more times than I can count most recently when he moved away and I felt as if someone had cut off my limb. Where would I drink and we now at home like a normal person? My cousin was shocked last fall when we walked into my other wine shop and my wine cellar patty who is also an astrologer and Tarot reader said that she had been debating whether to call me about something she she had seen in my astrology. Chart your wine cellar. Has Your phone number may cousin asked of course she has my number. I thought how would I be able to confidently make terrible terrible life choices if my wine selling astrologer couldn't reach me. How have I made all of these food friends in Paris I- compulsively seek Out people who are trapped behind counters and forced to listen to my tales of woe. I show up at the same places and over share to people who are paid to be pleasant pleasant to me until they develop a form of Stockholm Syndrome. That makes us friends. It was startling to realize that my ham purveyor is a more consistent didn't presence in my life than any friend family member or romantic interest. Sometimes I think I need to make some lifestyle changes so that the first person who would realize that I was missing or dead is not the man supporting my hand habit other days when we've had a good gossip and stuffed full of Charcuterie and he is giving me a pocket sausage for the road. I think I'm doing it right after all I used to be able to count on my my mother to be the one to track me down in the event of my untimely murder. Lord knows she has imagined plenty of room for me. I can't tell you. The number of times is that public safety officers showed up on my doorstep in college because I hadn't returned her call swiftly enough now she doesn't know how to call my phone number in France she struggles to put on her seatbelt her brain and body and seatbelt. Just don't click in the right way anymore. Two months after Dr moved to France. She learned she had Parkinson's disease a degenerative brain disorder. My parents told us on mother's Day by us. I mean gene. They told my two sisters in person and then as a family called me on skype"