Junk Knowledge with Marques Marchand

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Alright everyone. This is our second attempt to start this interview. My guest today is Marcus Mashad and he is the author of a Darker Chapter Messy Guy to dual diagnosis and jumped knowledge and Marcus why don't you introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about your story, your story of addiction struggling with addiction and bill diagnosis, and then we'll get into how you wrote your bucks and we'll talk about it. All My name is Marcus. Marshawn I'm a recovering alcoholic published author and all that good stuff. I before the books and everything and before I even became healthy in any way I was I was I was a problem child no. Europe. And a no it was forty one years old now in my sobriety date is November. Twenty, six, two, thousand, one. So I got close to nineteen years I'm almost there I was born nineteen seventy, nine January seconds. Just. Outside of Portland Oregon I live in San Francisco now in here a while and. I don't know if I was born any way I don't know born addict I. I, don't know if I was headed predispositions. It runs in the family on both sides of my family, right? Right? Yeah. But something something spoke to you when it comes to addiction. Yeah, it was born in nineteen seventy nine I. Was the first grandchild. I was my mom first child she had joss have a brother who's about seven years younger than me but I was. Accustomed to in the very beginning, I got accustomed to all the attention all the gifts. All everything you know the first few Christmases was all about me which was great and I didn't know ever change and when my brother came along when cousins came along, there was competition for attention and started to take all that away as like I started having to perform more had to be funnier it I just took it on his challenge I became like medium and everything and people loved it but every. Other kids. Be. Around. Yeah and I I didn't hate it but I was I was irked you know like Roy Sharing and. Is just like an often you know when when we when we work on ourselves, we get sober. We realized some of the root of our addictive processes are in our past in our childhood and stuff like that. So that makes a Lotta Sense. Yeah I it's I think it's one hundred percent like everybody's going to have to deal with the past. Yeah. So well, we are passed right? Yeah I my mom got remarried when I was five years old. So there was a step dad in the picture and They had my second my brother together, and so there was a lot of conflict between me and my step dad and and just all that a lot of people a lot of steps it's have that story and. Leading home really early. I left home at fifteen and my grandmother. Cross I adopted me but I was I was a latchkey kid and I was on my own now and I. So I went from living in the country out on a farm and my Stepdad was intact and used math genius and I was just a kid and we didn't get along. We were totally different. I'm kind of an artist and we right right it's like it was it was rough. We did not get along my mom's in the middle of it was tumultuous kind of on your own. Yeah. At first I was like this is great and but then There's no money I was on my own financially I just remember having to buy my own hands and everything for Ninth Grade Tenth Grade House like I was on my own weird. All my friends, all my regular normal friends were with their parents house and things were normal for them and I was just like loss for years. When I was fifteen sixteen I transitioned into drinking and drugs. And I had a good time if it a lot of things for me I forgot about all the pain of not being around family, right? Yeah. About being or I mean like alcohol and drugs were great for forgetting that you're broke. Forget any pain that you have. It's all gone. So and I got into the psychedelics I got an ecstasy I I never gotten to like math or anything but I stare meant that a little bit. So it's just started to progress from there. Yeah. quickly quickly, really fast because the age of fifteen to twenty two I used every day something then I couldn't twenty two. So most of my story. Is really about my using I don't have a thirty five year career using things right? Right yeah. It was short. It was fast I had a lot of fun. So what made you? What made you decide to say? Okay Hey, this isn't working for me like I gotTa Stop I. GotTa do something. Okay. So where it starts where I wanted to stop it was It was. Christmas Eve two, thousand of the year two thousand and I was I was working in restaurants and bars, and it was a great time Portland living in Portland Migrate Northwest Portland Neighborhood Powell's bookstore and all that way hipster kid and. I was working at a really cool restaurant and all my friends read a Bar Tiger. Bar. And they all call and I had the flu one hundred and three degree temperature. I. Was sweating I was sick and they call me like we're at the tiger bar they're playing your favorite drum and bass music gotta come down I'm coughing and sneezing gross and Ale, and is all early in gross looking. So I took a shower and I went down there unlike let's do it. I'm I'm in this big booth with all my friends it's like ten of us and I'm in the booth. I. Remember going to the bathroom and just wash my hands in my face in the mirror I. Look I look at old man. I'm twenty one at the time how and then I go back to the booth and I was just I remember a photo. A picture of all of us like having a good time supposedly, and I just I had to walk back I live four blocks, Murray where and then I got better went back to work a friend of mine showed me the photo and everybody looked normal. They're having a good time skeleton votto and. Rob And I'm twenty one years old was FG, right? But you knew there's something in you said, this is this is like this isn't right and but I would continue. Until the until Thanksgiving of the next year. So for another year just kept trying right

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