Which i speak from being dad we last left being dad the musician podcast john roderick. He had been hounded off the internet to do his tweet about making his eleven year. Old figure out how to open a can of beans by herself. Well not hounded bean. Dad admits he shamefully caved. He needed to face the music in an apology on his website. Being dad writes quote. Id activated my twitter. Yesterday in a panic he went on to say my story about my daughter and the can of beans was poorly told. I didn't share how much laughing we were doing how. We had a bowl of pistachios between us all day as we worked out the problem. We're that we both had a full breakfast together. A few hours before in other words he didn't levin it with some hand holding to tell people it's okay it might have seen serious. There might have been tension at the time in my conveyance and yes. Tension is a form of drama. But what. I really needed to do as a sure. The audience that a nine year old didn't have to go six hours between meals. He went on to add my friend. The story with me as the asshole dad. Because it's my comedic persona and my fans and friends know it's a bit. Well not just his friends or fans because of the screen shots. I saw just a snapshot in time but the tweets were getting a lot of love here. The first one said yesterday my daughter nine was hungry. And i was doing a jigsaw puzzle so i said over my shoulder. Make some baked beans. She said how like all kids do when they want you to do it. So i said open a can and put in the pot she brought me the cannon said open it how with a can opener is said incredulous. She brought me the can opener. And we both stared. I realized i'd never taught her to use it. Most cans now have pulled tops. I felt like a dope. What kind of apocalypse. Father doesn't teach kid how to use a manual. Can opener all right. Those are the first to post. I read and from the screenshot. I saw that second. One had ninety eight comments and one point seven thousand likes you know ratio getting ratio it online. It's it's when there are more comments than likes and supposedly this means that people are calling you out. You're getting your come up clearly. It wasn't the case with bean dad. His intended audience seem to like this story ratio. Really meeting was by the way cause some quotes questions a call for engagement. So they're going to get more comments. And some in groups will like others really horrendous tweets because looking at a lot of cunanan type tweets assailing a blameless georgia election worker. Hundreds of people like those. They were barely comment. That apartment so being dad was i rewarded for his story. As as i read it. I think he should have been there. Were delightful little grace notes quote. I told her stories about some of the great cans. I'd open to over the years. She rolled her eyes. We talked about industrial design. And what a funny little device. The opener is and the tone really gets no crueler than that. There are some tough love but also a lot of love love quote. I've been tempted many times along the way to guide her hand and wanted her to experience the magnificence of the can opener so much. I couldn't stand the suspense. Neither of us likes baked beans that much. The cupboards are bare so it seemed like a paltry reward for this work. It's a nice story. It uses twitter well. Bean dad was sale. And ken jennings got involved and the podcast. My brother and my brother and me dropped bean. Dad's music as their theme song. Right and so now being dad apologizes writing. I've conjured an abusive parent that many people recognized from real life. I am deeply sorry for having precipitated. More hurt in the world for having prolonged exacerbated by fighting back and being flippant wind confronted and for taking my twitter feed off line yesterday instead of facing the music which the parents i modeled didn't exist and which no one had to grow up with a parent who tortured them physically or emotionally would never intentionally make light of those experiences. And i'll never underestimate again. The pain i caused with some poorly chosen words and bhai acting defensively when challenged. Hey who am i to tell a person. You shouldn't be sorry for hurting someone else's feelings you should be sorry for hurting someone's feelings as a general rule and there was also some older content dredged up in the being dead deep dive some ironic racism that being dad should absolutely apologized for ironic. Anti-semitism that i say about i was put off though by the entire tone. Jose seemingly forced confession a public square rending of nature. To it in fact i hated that it needed to be done but i guess been dad. Thought it did. He wanted his career. Or at least it's twitter feedback. I object to the abject nature of it. But that's how he thinks he's going to get on with his life. I did think that this was an example where we have all heard ourselves by so demonizing the conditional apology. The if you were offended or to anyone. I may have offended. We treat that now is if so facto in sincere because often in the past that has been but now you can't even try it because it will without exception be interpreted as adding further insult to the original wrong and being dead knows. You can't do that so he didn't try to do that or else. It would have undermined all his efforts. But i say this is exactly the case where you might wish to say if my exaggerated character of the gruff dad reminded you of your actually hurtful father well to those in that camp i really am sorry about that and i think that would have been a sincere apology but it could have been a conditional apology which no longer exists. Those have been defined as non apologies. I don't wanna be overly dramatic about any of this in stating that. Huge parts of our society are now subject to the victims veto but it does seem more true than it ever has been before pendulum. Guess it needed to swing a bit. It swung quite a bit more than. I'm comfortable with than i think. Art should be comfortable with or even self expression. I mean these. Little wounded grievance sparrows huddled together alert to any sign of predators. They're not even fully birth. I think of them as hatchlings in a spotty incubator blinking on and off they must be attended to at all costs again. It is not the death knell of a once robust culture. We will survive. I can't say right now however we're thriving on