You Should Know That Cognitive Distortions Never Work, Yet You Always Use Them!
Host Tony Overbay and I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist. And where's the rest of the intro? So I had somebody in my office a few days ago and they claimed that they have listened to all of my podcast episodes and they asked me if I was a marriage and family therapist or a clinical social worker. They couldn't remember and then they said something funny. They said, you know, I feel like I would know this after hearing two hundred and something versions of your intro, but I can't really remember what you said. And so that kind of took a long hard. I thought man, I don't even think about it as I'm saying it the part about being a certified mindful have a coach and husband and speaker and father and author of the book and the past back pornography recovery all those good things, but they are all still the case and maybe I will try to weave them into the episode today, but let's mix it up. I'm glad you're here and we're going to talk about cognitive distortions and as I often thought To do I am going to use an article that is called challenging our cognitive distortions and creating positive outlooks. And that is by Donna White who is a licensed mental health counselor. And this article was first published in October of 2018 on one of my favorite websites psychcentral.com. So I've wanted to do an episode on cognitive distortions for a very long time because I believe that you'll hear so many phrases and sayings today that have most likely crept into your own speech patterns. And as I want to stress at every single opportunity that I can the goal with this episode the goal here is to create a no shame Zone. The goal is to bring some awareness and challenge you to try and make a little bit of a change moving forward based hopefully on some of the things that you hear today because cognitive distortions can really start to creep in even with the most intelligent the most aware people when they are sitting in my office and especially with couples not, you know, even individuals you hear these concepts of wage That always happens. I never get what I want. He always says this it'll never work and quite frankly. I don't think that we even realize that we are doing this that we're slipping into these cognitive distortion wage. There's plenty more more than just the all-or-nothing black and white thinking but we don't even realize that they become such a part of our speech and I feel like at the core cognitive distortions just come out of us because we don't often feel like we're going to be heard. So we find this subconscious resorting to no one will ever hear me. This is the boss will always happen. Nothing good ever happens to me and I feel like at the heart of a cognitive distortion is when you just don't feel like you are going to be heard you're going to say or they use words that are kind of just screaming somebody listen to me or somebody take me seriously. So I want to jump right into let me first Define. What a cognitive distortion is and I really feel like Donna White wage Explained this very well in her opening paragraph. She talked about in this was 2018. I think we've got a bit of a different scenario going on here in 2020, but she said in this time of mounting economic issues and financial burden wage that the stress of everyday life many of us find ourselves in a state of constant worry and worrying is not a solution to problems but rather a non productive way of thinking and I want to add in here my own two cents that really we want to keep in mind that our brain bless its little pink squishy heart is constantly thinking that it's doing us a favor that it's doing us a solid. So even worry we can think our brain because worrying and worrying will bring on anxiety anxiety brings on these fight-or-flight chemicals and our brain thinks that it is doing us a favor by making us hyper-alert fiber aware of what's going on around us so that it can protect us but often to our own detriment. So she said that many individuals often confuse worrying with planning however, planning produces action. Well worrying tends to produce more anxiety and she says worrying is often the result of our own cognitive distortions. Enter. Today's topic cognitive distortions are defined as exaggerated in two thousand and all thoughts. And here's one of the ways we're and I love this article and she brings up all the cognitive distortions and ways to challenge them and we're going to do that, but I'm going to add my own two cents in here where she says this explores this article explores several common cognitive distortions and ways that we can challenge these thoughts and I do appreciate the concept of challenging a thought but I think this is where my love of acceptance need therapy kicks in because acceptance and