Hacks to Make Your Resolutions Stick
We have a really special treat today to kick off twenty twenty so I imagine most of us have been making some form of resolution the last decade was about x and the next decade is going to be about why Z.. and Ab and see well in order to accomplish X. Y. Z. A. B. and C.. We probably need some plants some way to execute our goals and dreams our guest today. BJ Fog is going to help us do just that. He is one of the world's foremost experts on behavior. Change and how to start in create habits. That are actually GonNa stick and actually going to work so anybody's diet plan. Meditation plans desires for the future that you want to have in the semi perfect perfect you that will be evolving the beautiful butterflied cocoon that we have been in the last decade. Here's a man who may make some portion of those dreams slightly slightly more true welcome bt are no thank you for inviting. It is my sincere pleasure I question how was your New Year's. Oh my gosh it was. It was in transition. It was good. I mean it's great to start a new decade but my book launch has been planned for in years eve two thousand nineteen three days ago for two years. So there's been and we moved from Maui to California and then moved on here to go work So it's been busy but The books out and the response has been really really grade and so I guess the answer is it's been an awesome way to start this decade. So you've started the decade with your New Book Tiny Habits and today you're going to share a little bit about the methodologies that you recommend in it I yes yes. I'm so excited. So if somebody's GonNa make habit change what's the best way to do. It loaded question the way that we've been taught for decades How the culture thinks about habits most of it is wrongheaded takes us in the wrong direction? I'm excited about sharing is a way to create habits into change our life that works in. It's easy in its task. Actually if you do the right way it and it's not guesswork so I'll breakdown. Some of it goes deeper into some of the parts. But first and foremost start with forming habits that you want in not ones that you feel like you should have new years eve all of a sudden just coming to kick me in the ASS. Yes yes you know. What doesn't doesn't work? You know this is kind of what we've been set up is like okay. You just pick a should something you should do and somehow magically you can motivate yourself itself to get it done. I just don't see any evidence in everyday life research networks long-term but what does work is picking what you want want to the tiny Abbas method Hick habits that you want to be super easy and super small. So let's say you want to read more. Yeah so pare that back to not even read one chapter but read one paragraph or maybe even one sentence and then find where that new habit. The teeny teeny. Tiny behavior fits in your life. Naturally in the tiny habits method. You look for wet Kennett come after so reading for example might right lodge by come really well after you sit down on the train on your way to work then you open. Your book can read a paragraph An obvious one that I talk about the law is glossing comes after you brush so the tiny house arrest beaver. That is after I I will fly and in this case it's one tooth 'cause you parrot back to be super tiny and then there's a the third part of the tiny habits method. Is You wire in the habit by what I call celebrating writing you fire off a positive emotion and that helps us. You know that emotions change how our brain works and in this case of the celebration. The positive emotion helps your brain like remember and want to do that behavior again. So you're basically self-reinforcing but you're not doing it how you're doing it deliberately. You have by now. Thousands and thousands and thousands of people have done this. I know you've watched behavioral change categorically step by step over literally tens of thousands of people to identify bit by bit what makes the most effective habit change. Our do have a study where I had. Some people sell a true experiment where people randomize some people celebrated some people didn't celebrate and clearly different effects. It's a fundamental mental piece. I mean when we look at really any discipline. I live a lot in the world of healthcare in the world of meditation in the world of fitness and each of these worlds. We look at how you create habit a change and the behavioral pieces the hardest part we all know there are things that we should do. That are good for us and we just don't do them. Why don't we eat? Well you know. Why don't we exercise as much as we should know? Amount of information is going to actually shift your behavior and the question always is but what does so. Let's talk about one one other thing that most people listening here care about. And it's thing that people most commonly asked me. How do you start the habit of meditation? Or how do you get yourself to meditate meditate more often. Well this is why I like is this is why before we started recording. I told you what a huge fan I am news. Here's why I think meditation a hard habit to wire factors. Were really busy and but I think as we've talked about what why isn't a habit is the feeling of success. Yes it is so hard for people as they start to meditate feel successful they sit down and they still frustrated. I'm guessing I haven't studied up on you know. I know what what needs to be there for the habit to form and I know in my own experience and you know just casually talking to others not studying got scientifically is people. Just sit down notices. How busy their minds are so? They're not feeling successful. So that's not going to wire the habit what I loved about about us. Was it the little birds chirping those celebrations. You did right. I was getting at permission. I'm getting signalled signalled. I was succeeding. And that was a game changer for me because otherwise I don't know if I'm succeeding when I met a day so tonight you've just actually planned my mind because we knew we were doing it when we built it but we didn't have your thesis that it fell into to validate like. Oh we're doing this because it it is the self reinforcement in this way. The lavelle sort of him so because there's no way I can know that I'm doing something with my brandon brainwaves but what the news you you've you've indicated even even people can tune into like that was really stormy and rainy but now it's getting calmer and they lowered the bar for themselves so that you're not hearing chirping. You're able to calm the rain a little bit. That's great again then. Eventually you'll hear turbines like August. While I threw me because I got so excited I was thrown out but later I could bring them on and it just made me. It helped me feel successful so I have to tell you the chirps. The bird trips are actually also away to undermine the goal directed nature of this and bring back a mindfulness principal so everybody the first time they hear bird. If you don't know what it is just like okay. That was a bird as soon as you know that a bird is reward. You're like Oh my God I got a bird and you get really excited. And then the bird flies away so it is our way to suddenly subtly reinforce the habit while at the same time not getting you totally invested in your awards so you have to become come as invested in your rewards as you are in your failures essentially equanimity to them both in order to actually. That's the that's the subtle. Mindfulness awfulness a lesson that we imbued within. I love that well. I think it's great. I think it's terrific now. If somebody doesn't have that product I think to to reframe what successes as a meditators like just sitting on your mad sitting celebrate the fact that you actually did it and and I think the mistake is an expert on meditation. But if you think I'm GONNA have a coal mine like the Buddhist monk and that's the standard of success years Tanaka wire in the habit so just you have to re frame what success in meditation is so you can achieve that Tillis achievable also. You can deal successful every time you meditate every time and and and I think maybe somebody's done it I haven't mapped it all out but you know the simplest thing might be the fact that you actually sat there. You sat on the Mat and you took three mindful brass Bam. I know before I had views but I really focused on was just can I get three breasts without my mind wandering just three just three and it was hard but that was the standard if I could do it. It's like okay good for me. Let's see if I can do it again. Just three US us without my mind going up so it wasn't like a high bar but it was some way that I could feel successful. Oh but that took some effort. I do like the pink. I love that Adams. If you're trying to meditate call you to gotta how to do. Sit on the cushion. If you've nailed sitting on the cushion all you gotTa do is get three breaths.