Boundaries: Are Yours Too Rigid or Non-Existent?
We only boundaries. Everyone of us does so. Let's start first. With what is the point of a boundary. what is a boundary. well it has been described as a way of establishing your identity and it's a pretty crucial way of protecting your mental health and sometimes even your physical wellbeing your spiritual wellbeing your sexual wellbeing boundaries can be physical boundaries financial boundaries emotional boundaries. They can range from being very rigid to non existent and even healthy healthy boundaries are healthy because they help us to protect who we are in to protect our mental state. Really more than anything else psychologist. John and linda friel introduced the psychology of boundaries. And they say that each individual. This is a quote from them. Each individual human being should have a clearly defined boundary around himself or herself which is is like a psychological fence defined by us this individual boundary allow certain things into our lives and keep certain things out of our lives. It sounds so simple. Doesn't it another way of looking at it. Is boundaries are what we define as acceptable in certain areas and with certain people or with certain situations race. Let's talk about it as you might expect. There are countless areas where we need these boundaries with our children we need boundaries there especially important with our kids because our kids are looking for those boundaries those boundaries tell our kids. What's okay and what's not okay. And they are going to constantly test those boundaries and example of a boundary with your children might be. You are never to walk into mom. And dad's bedroom without knocking at the physical boundary another boundary might be that you are never to raise your voice or to argue or to throw a fit. That might be boundary or rule or an expectation and economic. Use these words interchangeably. I like to think of boundaries as kind of a pop psych term that basically means we teach people how to treat us and well consistency is the key and it is certainly most important to be consistent with your children because man if you make one exception where you're like okay justice once i'm going to give into your fit in the grocery store and give you this thing you're crying for. I promise you your child will never ever ever forget that. And they will push that boundary every single time just to test and see if it's in place today but once we become adults. It's important that we remember to evaluate each and every situation and not to be so rigid in our boundaries that we lose sense or lucite of common sense.