Psychiatrist Dr. Mark Goulston - Real influence and Training Yourself

A New Direction
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Automatic TRANSCRIPT

You're like you're like. Drinking from a fire. I'm apple. Ramp Myself Up I. was I can't take a nap on your show. That's for sure. I want to demonstrate something because there's a saying at least in Hollywood I'm not that far from it even though we're all isolated. It's better to show than to tell so. I'm going to demonstrate something far. Listeners in for you about how to be more influential. One of the things unfortunate to do is i. On on break now, but I breakfast would Larry King every day. Although we're doing zoom calls now and something. I've noticed about Larry because Larry eighty-six. He's still going strong. Still has a show. It streamed call Larry King now on home on the on the Internet and something I've noticed what has made Larry's such an icon. Is. Here's A. Plus after. and not a minus sir, and not a topper. What that means is when he listens to people. He adds to what they're saying. He doesn't a minus it he doesn't. Get Defensive. He doesn't give advice. He doesn't give unsolicited advice on his shows, so nobody's afraid. They're going to get a GOTCHA. And he's not a topper. If you say I if you say Oh, I went to the mountains, he he's not going to say oh. That's very nice. You know we went to Europe. And, so I'm going to be a plus to something. You just said I. Hope this will add value. You're listening because you mentioned something about training and I was thinking as you were talking about and I'm. And I'm reminded of a fellow named Dan Sullivan. Dan Sullivan found something called the strategic coach and part of what Dan said is what life get comes down to his habits. Happy People have different habits than unhappy people. Successful people have different habits than unsuccessful people. And he said what a habit is is it's a discrete piece of behavior that you repeat over and over again until it becomes a habit. And it takes about a month, and in other words you train on that and you repeat on that takes discipline, but over time you internalize it, and it becomes more natural, and then you can learn another habit now why this is important under stress because I'm am a psychiatrist, but I'm also a passionate about neuroscience. Is. What happens is when we're under stress and who isn't. We have you've all heard of your adrenal glands? And what happens is your adrenal guns. Put out something called Cortisol. High Cortisol is high stress and what happens is your high cortisol triggers something in your brain called your middle and Migdal as part of your emotional brain, and when that high cortisol goes up. What happens is it triggers a migdal hijack and what that means. Is Your Migdal shunts blood away from your thinking brain. Into your survival brain and guess what taps into your training. It will tap in to what you've been trained to do almost automatically. Do you think NBA stars when. They think between shots. No, it's training and they've been trained. What what's the saying? It May Have Been Stephen, Covey senior, or someone said you need. What is it ten thousand? What does it take to be come an expert? He said was at ten thousand hours. As a ten thousand hours or know that's probably more training in many of us however. Yeah thousands of hours. Thousands of hours and what happens is you become an expert at it, so you don't even have to think when you're faced with a situation, so I can't emphasize what Jay is saying. Strongly enough train train train train so that you have many many options, no matter what something whatever is. Facing you years ago I, was a fan of tiger woods during his heyday, and it was interesting when someone asked him. How do you play around the Gulf? He says. I've hit every shot possible ten thousand times, so he's an expert in every shot. He said every time I hit a shot. I don't race ahead I. don't worry about it because I know. I've trained and hit whatever SEAN I'M GONNA face. Ten Thousand Times and he says what I do is i. just you know, have a nice walk dot, breathe and feel okay. Don't worry I get on top of the shot I. Look at where I'm GonNa next hit it I know I've hit it at ten thousand times. I look at the ball and I. Just say one word execute. And so I love what you're saying about. The Training Training Training and And I know for a lot of listeners. In these times you're overwhelmed. OVERWHELMED WITH! I can train and I'm just trying to make it through the day. I'll tell you another bit of training. That I learned from a friend of mine. His name was Bob. ECKERD he was the CEO of Mattel. And I asked I asked Bob. How do you deal with stress? and. I'll tell a quick story if that's okay, sure absolutely story. So he told me. He said that before he wasn't Mattel and he's left Mattel. Now is an investment company, but he really turned mattel. Ron Big time. And he said before that he was the CEO of Craft in Chicago and when he started at kraft, he was I may president of the cheese division. And in two months time, the dairy prices went up. And so craft, Gary. Prices went up, and then they went down, but it was written into the bylaws of craft that they didn't lower their prices, so the independence lowered the prices when the prices went down, but kraft didn't. And he had no say over that he was just the president of the division. He unwritten all the protocols, and so the newspaper there was all these headlines. Heads are GonNa Roll at craft. It's going to be the end of craft. Because Cheese was a big division biggest. Division. And he told me he said you know. I was just in a funk and staring. Into the TV screen on a Sunday and the. Coach of the Cincinnati Bengals Sam Wash. And taken the Bengals to the Super Bowl two years earlier, they'd lost, but he took him to the Super Bowl. But this year they had lost ten games in a row. And Bob said I'm just staring at the TV. And the report says to. Sam, so Sam. What are you GONNA do. You're going to be fired on Tuesday. What do you think about that? and Bob said it was as if he was speaking to me. Sam Weiss looked out on the television and said. You know what I'm going to be fired. On Tuesday I know I'm going to be fired on Tuesday. Everybody knows I'm going to be fired on Tuesday But, that doesn't matter. What matters is what can I do between Sunday and Tuesday to make the Bengals a better team? So what Bob adapted I think it's a great philosophy to get through stressful times, and he used it to get through rough times at Mattel. Is. He said before he goes to bed. He says to himself, and he writes down. What can I get done? That's different. Than what can I do, but what can I get done by the end of tomorrow? To Make Mattel, a better company. What can I get done by the end of tomorrow to be a better husband to be a better dead? And when you write that down when you train yourself to get into that habit to it for thirty days, it'll become natural. You can go to bed. Easier, you can change it when you wake up in the morning, but again it's one of those trainings. What can I get done? To Make My. To make my team more successful to make me were successful. If I'm looking for a job to be a more effective and looking for a job so right that. That question before you go to bed. Train yourself to do it. And you might be able to get to sleep without having to take some of those magic. His name is Dr Mark Allston. A. By the way I did not know he was going to do this and it was better than I could ever. Swore. WE'RE WE WE? I know we're. GonNa talk about this book real influence. And it's fantastic, but what you're hearing is the heart of the man, and he is absolutely fabulous. He's going to be with us for the next forty minutes on the

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