Things I'd Wish I'd Known When My Kids Started College

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Things. I wish i known when my kids started college like how their meal plans. Don't include ten dollar la taes three years ago when my kids started college. I could've used some guidance. Decent advice wisdom. I went on college tours asking. What are your dorms. Emergency exit plans. I should've asked how many essential oil marketers within a fifteen mile radius. Hold a communications degree from your university. What did i know. I was worried. Said to be losing my babies and wondering how in the name of god they survive without homemade smoothies would my make good choices. Texts be as effective without the appropriate facial expressions. I should have focused on the upside vodka. Bottles would soon return to the oven where they belong. I could keep my journal out in the open rather than hidden in the closet near the vibrators. Real changes happen for empty nesters and our kids during college years. Not all of them bad. Here's what i wish. I knew it will take one year to go from crying when they leave to crying when they come home six months. If you enjoy the kind of privacy you haven't had since clinton was in office. Prepare a speech for when they call to say we've been seeing each other exclusively for eight weeks. Should i still use a condom. That kid who is said to leave home will soon be wondering why you do things like visit and stay overnight. Go ahead and share opinions about what they wear an instagram pictures. I dare you. Are we supposed to quickly pivot from casting out trans fats and other sources of evil to serene acceptance that their diet now includes edibles. Yes yes we are so steel an edible. When you visit. You're paying for it. Your boys will bring home girls who start sentences with as a capricorn. But stay supportive or though blame you for the inevitable. Break-up relax with the anti-capitalist you don't need to be investment bankers bullshit. You'll have to pay their rent when they eventually decide work as oppressive. It will take years before they stop asking questions about. Laundry and ironing

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