A great time on the boss. Says on the best things about being a athlete didn't especially humble was. We always have fun. Bus trips guys hang out. Chat laugh dove around play cards. So when you talk about in your book in your interviews about the seating order on the bus was based on higher gain age. Wasn't it so. Take tickets through getting on the buses. A team however started finds their designated place for most of my career all my career. It is a hierarchy. The veterans voice coaches are at the very front and then a math life therapists who like personnel ray. After and then after that it'd be goes youngest rookie two oldest rookie. Aniko is from youngest Or even most games played. I'm at the very very bad is definitely a hierarchy. For sure you earn your stripes in if you have working is played in other person than you get the advanced further back. But if you have if you're older but have less games players still low but lore it's just it's just different hierarchy of hockey teams and so Or twenty year olds or at the back of the bus. There's nine of us on the team that year In so we're all at the back of the bus. But yeah so i sat in. I think row twelve aisle seat driver side. I did you ever think that the seat you're in was the reason you're with us today. Do i don't person beside me. Passed away in. The person in front of him passed away so the person behind passed away in behind him past. You don't remember the accident. But you're quite lucid. When you talk about the bantering camaraderie leading up to it. Yeah i was. The whole idea was that we knew we had to play loose. Template tight did on edge but we knew we had to be dialed in when impacted draw and so it was like loosen joking around on the bus in that normally like to visualize before i play in that night shutdown role so as visualizing language gonna do on the ice house your check down top line so i usually do is put my music headphones. In press play is head down. I did that in everything went black and that was the last they are member. I woke up in hospital. Four and a half days later being told of the news of the crash. He acted like he knew what was going on. But it wasn't till four days later that he went for sleep and then when he woke up from the sleep he was asking again. Were am i. Take us back to that moment. Is anything really make sense. No it didn't end for me. The most logical thing was so. I woke up in. I looked around and i saw her parents in their kind of crying college around. Close my eyes. I thought dreaming. I literally thought i was in a dream. I thought having like a load nightmare dream ever was opened. My eyes again realized that i wasn't dreaming. Must be like hit from behind i. We had our game hit from behind hurt. My neck broken neck can cost in the hospital now so they had our game go and they're like there was no game. Mind racing the end up telling me that dana passed away housing. What do you mean denote passed away. And she cheeses sixteenth. One passed away like what previously they told me to beforehand Had no idea so in these four and a half days that i don't remember i was vocal as talking to people. I was still with it. However i don't remember it is called track amnesia State where you're kind of uncharacteristic manner not truly yourself but you're still able to communicate so with it time very sarcastic as ignorance rude. That was completely characteristic of me. But i don't remember it whatsoever. And when they settle down to the point that they could do an mri. There was a lot going on. Wasn't there was so for me. I had quite a few sense of injuries ahead. Fractured skull and to my skull added scalp delivered on the right side like a rash from there. I had broken verb neck. I believe it was five than it had four broken vertebrae back and blood clots left eardrum. All right eardrum left arm. They're pre large ones. And then i also had a severe traumatic brain injury. The doctor says i should not be able to walk right. Read even remember my name. The doctor said if we look at being a vegetative state and paralyzed for your neck out. That was kind of when it really hit us. How severe managers. Truly where an how. Lucky in grateful i am to be ram today. Do you believe that you're here today for a higher purpose just living life. I mean that it's a miracle Our we wanted to find it defy all the scientific principles that you are having this chat with a i. I'd actually didn't think i had that. Severe brain. annual has a beer brand brain injury but not that severe because afterwards Tests now is like scoring. The highest possible is tests is breaking records on these tests. The doctors were so confused. Conflicted list does make sense because images this your nine close so actually got another image of my brain and Seraglio mitch like. I'm sure i had a brain injury but not to the severe of degree. Sure enough i got back is e exact same scam exact same results and that was when it really hit me just how lucky i am to be in possession man. I don't know if there's a higher purpose. I not like that. I'd save religious by unspiritual. I'd say i really don't ask those questions because you'll never get an answer for them and i understand that five on that. Why why me why not others. They won't take you down a good path. So i try to live in the moment and for the time that i am here to make the most of the opportunity that i have. How did you deal with the grieving process. I mean these people were your family. How did that factor into a body that so desperate even begin the healing process. I think at first i was in. Denial added looks through twitter. In kinda hit me that evening after through twitter in look at social media gannon however real it was that of toilet hip knee Who was scared. Wasn't i had the survivor's guilt for a little bit too. I did ask questions. Like why am i here. Why others not like you have a father head coach art hogan father to wife and he's gone in a sixteen year old keenum who is elite player. I was called up in had aspirations of bill into the angela. He he's gone to those younger guys to ahead of me had extensive serious injuries and some bass way to that just didn't make sense. Why am i here. Why are they not here. Like the has such a better life. I wish i could trade places Would it was just like loss of that. Survivor's guilt and then it hit me that i can't be thinking this way. If i m here which i am i need to make the most of it because if i was to pass away. Sad was one of the ones who passed away however want survivors to live their life. This is. I asked myself in my hospital bed when night. Russia was just sitting up thinking about it. I was like well. Sign passed away want survivors slip their life and i want them to be happy. Follow their dreams. I'd want them to pursue passions. Take risks live life big into the fullest. I want them to go down Darn path or to be sad about life and never really regroup or get back to like. I want them to honor me now. I'm able to live and honor them. Live my life big for those smart here. And even what could i control. I really couldn't control much. I can control injuries. I couldn't control a semi driver. I couldn't control the crash in control. Who here who wasn't here to really control is myself my actions my beliefs. My possession my attitude taiwan to move forward from this and i wanted to turn something so name to something positive that can help others including myself we come back. We'll talk about hockey sticks. And how they were left on the porch and that simple statement symbol was something has some ways united the world. Tony chapman and a big. Thank you to rb for sponsoring chatter. That matters speaking of matters. I have a question for you. You check it on your family your health even your car. When was the last time you did a check in on your finances. Checking virtual experience with no obligation. I got answers to all of my money questions. Big and small and i now have a plan for my future book. A check in at.