Oklahoma City, Faulconer, Dr Paul Tobin discussed on Gwinn F Lippert


News radio one thousand Katie okay eighty eight degrees in Oklahoma City when Faulconer referred to having our mental tune up tonight with Dr Paul Tobin and Dr Gail Llewellyn Hobson both licensed psychologist Dr Hobson is a psychologist in Norman while Dr Tobin is the owner and manager of a small private mental health clinic in Edmond we're talking about covert nineteen resilience and emotional intelligence and you know it seems like I it's demanding me to have more self disciplined now than I've ever had to have is that yes so true and I I like to what we just did what Dr Tobin is talking about women you just hit on them itself it's the idea of self correcting self regulation and self control and we do have to we have to do that right now with this because in the end they're good techniques to know anyway we'll take those into the future all of us because those are important but they they are are really important right now when they lied to this idea of being flexible and learning how to self talk right WWW absolutely absolutely let me just kind of re emphasize that as well then when what you're talking about is being aware once I'm aware of that dysregulated emotion once I'm aware of that out of that kind of zone of effectiveness is then I have to be intentional intentional about putting back in place those things that have been affected stormy and resilience is the capacity to self correct most people will have the capacity to some degree and some stronger than others again the good news is it can be learned but for the most part we have that we function effectively but when we get into this chronic state we can lose focus on this track and that they're gonna drop back to those things the do re established at center balance in our lives and so getting back to that exercise getting back to good nutrition taking times in prayer and meditation and kind of personal self talk shop talk and the spiritual level if you will in terms of being able to recognize what I love again in terms of the recovery population is at capacity to know in the you know the general nature of the serenity prayer there's just so much I can do and then I've got to turn it over and let go and give that one to god and know that all I can do is my best think and communicate with others about support and help and be part of a community and I think in all the right point Dr Tobin and and you know on I know you're saying that the the other the further pointed man is becoming to eat each other into ourselves because this is a tough time it's okay just accept that this is an unusual and difficult time so let's use our strength to take care of our third ourselves but each other yeah absolutely and and that's what the concept of self empathy comes in that self tolerance then I'm doing what I can on Monday after stances I can land like the duck my feet moving underwater they made him still on top I'm doing all that I can I'm gonna give myself a break and pace myself and keep myself back into this more balanced place in doing that listening to me and then being able to connect to listen to those around me three of the things that are relevant in terms of resiliency and emotional regulation there's a sense of positive self and that's where that self empathy that kinda good enough self understanding that I am doing all that I can and I'm functioned well before the social circumstances got me down but I'll work through this and I work through this with those in my life feeling feeling valued in terms of the things that I contribute and we all contribute in different ways we find ways to contribute and that sense of affirmation from what we do for others is an important part of that capacity to feel connected and valued and and the third part because with Anna is being part of something larger than ourselves we can get outside of ourselves no it's hard to find exactly the volunteers have been handing out food Mecca the volunteers have been in the community in many many ways giving help where is it how is the weather is just our neighbor next or whether it's an extended family member weather out in the community work at the food banks and other places what can we do it allows us to have movement and engagement and get out of that frozen response and get out of that flight response yes I remember when when you very first week we talk which is now been what seven or eight weeks ago and you said I stopped by and checked on my neighbor remember that and I thought that was so kind of you you thought of that I'm out for my walk up and check in on my neighbor so you know that's what we do have to do it and then we have to add the practical things that that we're all hearing over and over but I'm I'm seen some people forgetting we need to wash your hands often we need to keep the discount when we were at that store the best we can or in a group and we need to wear a mask and you know the other part for those of us that are no longer stay home as much as we can because that probably helps everybody in general well don't you think that people are tired of this and they're tired of being good and they're tired of doing what they're supposed to and so it's just like they've thrown it all away at once and that's why our numbers are going back up sure sure yeah there's a there's another very well in their Glenn introverts and extroverts in in almost a humorous way if you talk to and then I think there's probably realistically about a fifty fifty population if not more introverts nectar rich by nature but the people were the more introverted personality have actually enjoyed the quietness of this and it's not to say that people who are experts haven't been able to because I think they also enjoy the camaraderie other family systems but those who are saying gosh if you say throw it all away I got to get out I got to go do something it's not been rebellious fashion is not in the malicious nature it's just gosh I have to have some of the social breathing room I need to connect and we're by nature in all the tribes if you will it's it's our nature to be able to pull together with others I took her to the all about this with community health and so meaning to isolated is kind of counter to our nature but it is sometimes with a a misstep or can be you know I can I can overlook something organize something in terms of risk factors and I think we're all trying to be real cautious about looking at numbers and paying attention if they just take you know washing and wearing masks when we can tension in the volatile populations are not putting them at risk but we need to can help some of that social breathing and that's a necessary part of also who we are some of the most critical circumstances that I've been able to work with them to discourage time are people who are too isolated to lemay and getting very depressed in the absence because of their fears to get out but they don't have those connections going on and so we've been working on trying to find connections whether it's classmates in the zoom opportunities or whatever form of telecommunications they can have until they can get out maybe walk their neighborhoods at least wave to others that are around them from their faces some level of connectedness because what occurs when we connect with others is that affirmation for them and for us about the value of who we are and we lose sight of that when we get caught up in that kind of more of center focuses in on my own pain I gotta get out of my pain by connecting with others and being involved that's an example I like that idea so much of community going and I've talked about that finding a way if this is important if your teenager or you know even three things really are warming stories of children who have found ways to help during this time and I think that community reach reach out if he is really essential for all.

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