Mazda, Miami, Dr Marshall Rosenberg discussed on Fading Memories: Alzheimer's Caregiver Support

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

To people you you know the parent loves loves them more but it may not be about that at all maybe about something else right. So that's just US needs ample so and this isn't just go from Miami. I think in a lot of cases what people say. It's it's about. This is not what ends up about ends up. Being about uber relational issues see wine to be in control of love. The money in the health care carbon jury. Because it's hardly go. It's it's hard except I guess. Hard to deal with what's going on on my mom. She had declined a lot over the summer. And that's this means it's expected but when it happens you're still surprised and it's like what the heck being able to make. Decisions isn't so much about making decisions about having a sense of control adding some sort of power in that situation basically powerless. Let's talk a little light bulb topics. So how somebody elder-care mediator GonNa take your job opening not worried about that. Unfortunately I was going to need to be off more of you in the near future. Asura huge need but as the biggest problem is people don't know that people like me exist and they don't know how much side of this time and money and emotional pain. We can save you know otherwise people would be knocking at my door. They're not so I'm I'm really glad about this opportunity. How does one become an elder care mediator? Most people become a mediator later. I for whatever we said and then realize how elder care is becoming such a big issue and decide to add that to that practice for me. It was the other way round. I was wasn't my fifties along time ago. uh-huh approaching my fifties. I was looking to make a career change and I really wanted to do something that I felt. I could do due until for really long haul ever retire and so I thought okay something in the Aj if you'll be great because it's a growing field and having more life experiences an asset rather than a liability as professors and so I spent a year really researching going conferences and workshops fence to find out what's out there in the in the field of aging aging. And then I met somebody who talked about L. that mediation and I was. I've spent my tie. Doug wife involved in organizations that I promote consensus and so that's my natural way of being and so how people find consensus essentially Ashley seemed like a really good fit. Also the profession is isn't regulated in California and so it doesn't take a ton of training you to start a business. I how a ton of training at this point but you need it because you know end of life life issues and family issues and my white low. That's just got on it landmines to avoid. Yeah it's the factual information that's is really important. But also the communication tools to learn and practice them. I've been one of the the Tools I found most helpful in my practice I ran across like ten years ago. A training in in what was then called Valley and communication base mediation. Snow called mediate your life. which like a lot better now a little nicer you're invited communication or it's also known as passionate? Communication is a specific communication method. There was Over fifty years ago developed by Dr Marshall Rosenberg and it's been taught or all around the world and to use an in context not just in case of When there's already a conflict but it's really designed to get people out of the heads into their hearts and to connect the level in any kind of conversation at home at work with friends anywhere and that has turned out? It should be one of the most important tools in my tool K.. Because especially with people or someone during dementia as you know. What's so hard for us? In this very brain oriented society is to Josu serves to a relationship with somebody when you can't reason anymore right and compassionate communication. I'm really happy with that because it gets into the heart and you can still connect on a heart And I know you know from first hand experience and that's one thing I wanted to share with you that that's really important tool for me because it helps people in this situation so much. I've talked to well some guests. They've learned obviously but again people they have met through where my mom lives or my support workgroup in. It's like you can you come. We'll see it's like they're trying to logic through situation. You can't guess Mazda painter later bills because she can't remember. She didn't pay the bills and she thinks people are stealing reliever checking account. These are all really common stories. And that's obviously Salihi a factual situation. You have to deal with. But you can't deal with it in a logical and factual wave to deal with it in a different way so I can see how can help somebody in my situation navigate.

Coming up next