Steve Jobs, Lyndon Johnson, Soccer discussed on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes
Yeah you'll if you respect them and see them as peers. That's what is going to level you up interesting. I heard these stories about about how Steve Jobs was disrespectful to a lot of his product developers that he'd length throw the phone back in their face or whatever you know talk bad about people but maybe that's just one one all times but maybe he also had a level of respect for them somehow some way some other way or maybe he was that one in a million that was such a freaky genius or we we had other other habits check followed him because you're like. I dude. He's amazing. He's a he's got. He's Got a vision putting it out there and he's getting persuasive and other ways. He was an original though he wasn't resin original for sure. He wasn't original okay so we got generous. One of the key habits gave yourself away the Polo positively acitivity. What does that mean so. The pull positively is is just simply There's a lot of different ways you can take persuasion and I cover cover that sort of covers. There's negative persuasion which are also really affects persuasion base persuasion like my old football coach in high school. Go or something that was just like screamed at you. If you drop the ball like he did that was affect. I mean in some ways it it may be work hard but Maimi constantly stressed and I don't think you want that out of the people around you. You don't want them to be feeling fearful and stressed by your level of persuasion. You don't do do this then. I'm going to scream at you more yeah yeah and so it just sort of studies like the impact of negative or positive persuasion wages and how positive persuasion wins out in the long run negative persuasion can certainly have its benefits and be effective. You sit in politics cruising raising that mean. That's all it is crazy. That's all it is just fear based attacks. Yeah there was a nineteen sixty four Lyndon Johnson added. I like campaign ads like that that was called daisy and it shows chose a girl in a field picking picking daisies than a nuclear bomb goes off and then the screen fades to black and it's basically like the world's ending like if I don't vote for this dude in all my God my you know my family's GonNa blow up in a nuclear war you crazy. That's negative persuasion effective it works it works because that's fair base us and this just argues that the opposite is more productive for society more sustainable more healthy cash politics. It seems like it's gotten a lot worse for people win based on those fear based tactics they do. I mean I feel like Obama one based on positively he did an image an ideal all of something greater that is why he right he he broke through because he wasn't going to get down to that level and I mean look how from there to to where we are right. The pendulum has swung so far. Maybe it's always outside named bully bully name-calling crazy here. I know it doesn't seem productive but that's just me so you got the original. He got the generous giving mentality. When we give of our time of our energy you are listening of our respect. It doesn't have to be constantly giving gifts that can be just our connection could be generous with our listening. That's right time nine advice. connections compliments that you think of but you don't say you know you're. You're like oh I should then you. Don't don't you know like give those messages out there like that. Positively off. That'll make you make you more persuasive and then empathetic wise empathetic such a she to persuasion and being influential severally that the basis of that is about the idea that we are all connected acted related you know human beings are where the universe's only storytellers we all share ninety nine point nine percent of the same aim. DNA but yet that being said the world is like super fractured and so that's really just trying to I understand your audience and there's sort of habits on how to do that and not my dad doesn't have the same belief so we don't we hate. We were like complete opposites you still have you still share so much. In common and it's understanding shared values we all at the end of the day want the same things and so safety laws safety love Connection Action Human Connection Yeah. That's those are sort of the drivers. And how do you understand how to look for those that don't shut people apple down a little bit more open and be empathetic and how are you pathetic. When someone is attacking you or making wrong or screaming at your just. It doesn't want to bring the common ground energy when it's just like screw you you're wrong mess this up. I hate you type of energy. I think thing it's your job and you know there's cases where you're just like. That's not worth my energy but there's there's ways to unpack doc what's behind that emotion and what's below it and why that person feels that way through empathy through empathy and try to see things from their perspective active why they feel that way and not talking to them the way like if they're talking to you you talk to him back because that's counterproductive. If it's something in business relationship or yeah a family relationship if it's a relationship you don't need you know that's fine right right. Ronnie that in your life but if it's if it's something that you need to work through it's how do you how do you understand and ask them key questions to see things from their perspective. Yeah empathy empathy collaborative imperative have yet. It's all about coming together and working together I used to be I used to be focused on competition my whole life yeah and it wasn't until a few years ago when I was like man and it's really hard being competitive with everything and why don't they just start being more collaborative with everything and when you think that like I mean it started to gradually change the last six seven years when I started to open up about sexual trauma and really kind of being vulnerable about the things I've went through my life and accepting myself who I was as opposed to try to put on these masks sort of really starting to shift after that because I was like man I'm always trying to compete with everyone to prove my worth worth to people or to the world or whatever to myself when I was glad onto prove myself anymore because now I accept myself so I can just collaborate more and every year I get more and more of this collaborative spirit where I think my default is. I want to destroy everyone like I wanNA crush. Everyone like programmed into you right. It's like I need to win. I WANNA crush but then I'm like okay that doesn't support me yeah and it doesn't support humanity having that mentality so why don't I always come from a place. How can I lift everyone else up. NB generous to everyone else and they're gonNa you know. I'm going to be up there with them. Wasn't that why you're successful yeah because of that mentality and that that shift did that happen when you were working on your book Yeah we did it happen happen like it happened before that the book sort of pull that it was about six years ago yeah. I wrote my first book. It started to happen right before that yeah started having maybe a year before that when things started to shift and it was more of like I was just trying to do things to prove to everyone that I was is like good enough or exactly that was like the best right now. It's just like what am I doing. This doesn't support anything being like. I told you so you feel. I gotcha internally yeah. I was like okay got what united why don't we all succeed yeah so I mean my platform platform in the last six and a half years has been plowed from sharing other people's stories yeah and putting them in front of my audience and I think that supports me by putting the spotlight on someone else. Yeah it always shines reflects back on you as opposed to saying hey everyone look at me all the time. Look at this idea this person this experience against right and then the reflection and when you think about competition. What are you trying to win anyway. He's like what is what is winning to be like the number one in person in the space of selling books whatever I mean I always want to grow yeah make a bigger impact but I've eating that came from sports athlete that mindset came from being the youngest of four can feel like I was never seen and eating here had dropped to my siblings. Roy is amazing. I was like how do I beat Tom or catch up to them or whatever then sports so. I think it's hard to shift out of that mindset. When that was my entire life was like being number one and being the the best and then eventually realized when my first business was building it was kind of the engine that got me to where I was building a multi million dollar business but remember. We're just like lots of relationships were suffering because I was very combative. It was like my way or the highway yeah and I think that's like a young entrepreneurial me. A mindset front approaches like I can do this. I can lead. You can't do it without without the team. He's it like you. GotTa do it together. Collectively that's when I started now I started shifts six years ago six and a half years ago and a lot of things involved and not only evolved in the external world but my internal world evolved loft and that was when I brought a lot of piece of my life so I have a story on empathy and understanding other side that I just can't. I can't believe this isn't a movie but I I ran across it. As I was working on the book but in in Nineteen Fourteen War World War One there was it's called the Christmas truce. Have you ever heard of it or Smith's truths truce truce yet. TR UC troops and on Christmas Day Hey there was the allied forces and the German forces and on Christmas one side started seeing like carols shut up and they all crawled out of their trenches and foxholes and they for the entire day they swapped pictures of their families shut up yeah and they made eight a soccer ball out of masking tape and they had like a soccer strewn away. We're then at the end of the you know that carried on into the evening the end of the day they went back into their foxholes and started killing each other again and it was war you know one of the bloodiest wars of all time that shows you like how similar people are at a a sort of pinnacle of like. I mean we're talking about war like I'm going to kill you and that the idea of coming together no one shot down their weapons and then they went back on they started killing bad so beautiful sad at the same time now the Christmas truce just create a piece from there yeah. I know we're all trying to like go back home yeah. Let's just call it. You know like he's out yeah so that it shows just how common ground that we can share you know even even more you know it's all collaboration and then the the fourth habit main main principle is hopeful and the importance of skill hunting and Personal Jesus. What does that mean. Let's go hunting. I think is something I talked about as one of the greatest things I've ever done for myself yet is mastering and lots of different skills so I have like his tool belt with all these different the skills that I can whip out yeah I can play guitar can salsa dance. I can build a business. I can speak on state all the things that I was afraid to do. Yeah I started reading lists when I was younger and I said Okay I need to be afraid of this hunting to master this yeah they became skills. Not Fears is that kind of what skill hunting is. It's pretty much what it what it is. I mean I think thank you you kind of embody this. It's you know you talk about how you were failing English bestselling books and I just that that switch but the idea behind skill hunting. Is You know there's sort of like life hacking which is like sh shortcuts like the fastest asas way to productivity and then there's which is not really skill hunting..