A highlight from Intellectual Challenges
Good morning good afternoon. Good evening wherever you find yourself in this entire world. I welcome you. So how are you doing my friend by warrior. I certainly hope this week finds you well. I would like you to visit my store the mary max store where you'll find lovely gifts for yourself in another bereaved friend or relative especially our i remember collection partial proceeds from everything that is sold in this store. Goose to help support the foundation for grieving children inc which i established many years ago. I also want to acknowledge. The citizens of india as cove it has taken on another surge. Please know that last year. When we were first struggling with this in america i created several episodes specifically on this and i will leave the exact episode numbers in the show. Notes for you and please. Now i'm thinking of you and sending you much love today. I'd like to discuss the intellectual challenges that occur after a loved one staff. Now we might feel confusion like our brain is fuzzy. We have an inability to concentrate at times. We get preoccupied and find ourselves daydreaming and staring off into space. We can experience hallucinations whereby we might be sitting somewhere and feel like we can actually see our loved ones in the room with us for those who have experienced this although it may be startling and brings great sense of comfort or we feel their presence in different ways. A few years after my husband's store was murdered. We were invited to the home of louisa whose daughter maria had been murdered also and was a member of our support group as we enjoyed tasty that sunday afternoon. A front door slowly opened as we all looked up. Our hostess replied. Oh that's just maria coming into join us and it was obvious how comforting this was for louisa now. Some may find this unsettling but not her guests. It was her way of acknowledging her daughter's presence in to the room she told us later that ever since maria was killed this had been happening on a regular basis. She would be sitting in the room reading or knitting and all of a sudden. The inner door would unlock and slowly swing open while the screen door would stay in place and she gained great comfort from that now. Some of my personal challenges was it fell like a fog. Was there a sense of feeling that fog for so long. I had become less mentally strong. I was losing my emotional strain and it was necessary to become mentally strong again to handle the pressures of high level jobs and the people in those companies who i might be working with or leading. It can be hard to concentrate and focus. You might even feel confused at times. Either in your thoughts or while working it can be unsettling. Because you're asking yourself what's really real. Nanny of us have experienced this especially in the. We have a hard time with our work. Yes we know our work. We may have been doing it for a long while but now we feel like it's a much greater challenge to do than before we try our best to act like we have everything. In order at work we put on the mask to make everyone think all is okay but underneath. We may feel concerned that we aren't fooling anyone and we struggled to produce the matter. We once dead. Our thoughts seem so fuzzy. We might even struggle to get through the day and when we finally get home from work we are exhausted mentally and physically and unfortunately we have other family responsibilities to which doesn't give us the time we need to take care of ourselves. Will i want you to know that. This is natural and normal in the beginning of our grading process. We are in shock and there is a bubble with surrounds us. It is there to keep saying it is there to protect us from the trauma we are experiencing after our loved one staff. You might feel as though you are living in that fog going through daily activities and sometimes not aware of how you got there or how you finish the task either at work or at home how you drove all the way to work and you don't remember any of it it may seem surreal to you and if this is your first loss you might not understand what is going on but i want you to know that this is what happens when we are shocked to our core and it will take many months for this fog to be lifted and the sad part. Is that when this fog is lifted. You may feel even worse because you won't be able to deny now what has happened. The reality will set in. And you can't lie to yourself any longer. Your loved one really is dead. They will not be coming home to you. They really won't be coming in the door for dinner. They really won't be waking up next to you. They really won't be next to you in life to build the plans you both chose together and because you've been living in the bubble or fog for many months chances are you don't do anything more than what is expected of you. You don't socialize much. You might have tried to keep up with your college classes. Bhai founded quite hard. You might have decided to not take those hobby classes. You wanted to just now. You might have decided joined crewe right now with much too much for you. So your brain really took a hiatus. It needed it. It needed to just be still and try to comprehend all that has happened. It needed to focus on only the essential tasks. Which is all you felt.