A highlight from Living & Processing #StopAsianHate

First of All


And i'm here to share inspiring stories and go through everyday life with you Right off the top. I don't know how inspiring this week's episode is going to be but it definitely is with the intention to walk through life with you because it has been a moment a really tough moment for a lot of folks at least in my universe and for myself to go through and with the full mission of what first of all was from. The very beginnings from his birth was to be space for asian american voices for female voices. And there's a lot to unpack with. What happened this past week. And what's been happening in the asian american community so to get everybody up to speed. If you're new to first of all how is first time tuning in this. Podcast has been an exploration in a place where my experience in the the friends of mine. My universe can talk a lot of different elements of who we are as people whether that's racer or sexuality or geography or whatever. We all have a really diverse background. We're all unique individuals human beings and i'm fascinated by that and i wanted the space to be a place where we can share all those things talk through some things process and things learn and This last year. There's been a huge surge in anti-asian violence This the last administration. The trump administration had been kind of setting the stage in Provoking and planting a lot of hateful hateful rhetoric a lot of hateful attitudes and discriminatory Perspectives and viewpoints. Really like empowering a lot of people that are bigoted and zena phobic and it's been really scary time But in terms of the hate crimes that have been happening. The violence That has been surging. I think we're almost like four thousand hate crimes in the last year It's been a lot for folks to deal with and with what happened in atlanta and knowing the fact that a lot of the people that tune in for first of all are a lot of asian americans asian diaspora a lot of women. Female identifying folks. i just i. My my wish was to create a space for us to to kind of grieve together and process and to learn again all the original intentions of this podcast because there is a lot to unpack here. It's not just pain but that pain is coming from a shared experience of being largely invisible being discriminated against being a being a you know attacked and mistreated and dehumanized in so many different forms. That it's something that's been cracked open in this moment. And i think that it's it's worth addressing and just like working through because i've been really really fortunate to be around others who are creating their own spaces so that i can process what the heck i've been going through because it has been a lot so with all that being said as lon- share this is actually the fourth the fourth attempt at this episode. Iv recorded three hole podcasts. Before this and at the end of the day. I didn't feel comfortable putting it out in the public. I don't know if it was just too incoherent or to hateful processing a lot and yeah. This is my fourth time so i really hope that this is the one that i can share because i have been just stressing out for the last week. Feeling this urgency and this want and desire to be there for everybody who's been supportive of first of all who's been leaning on it in whatever fashion that it's a place of respite in peace and feeling seen and understood. I wanted so badly to put something of value out there But i was also going through so much chaos in my own minded in my own heart and also doing my best to like. Stay afloat like everybody else has been. We're still dealing with a pandemic. We're all still trying to make enough money to pay for the roof over our heads into feed ourselves just managing so much stress. It did take a toll on me. So is what i want to say. I'm sorry that it's taken me until now. And i appreciate everybody's like care and understanding because i did talk to a few friends and listeners who are like so sweet and like i was expressing like how frustrated i feel that i haven't put anything out yet I i like doing my best to engage somewhat on social media so that it can share resources but some of those things have been so triggering for me. I feel so overwhelmed. I'd be like crying or sleeping poorly. Or whatever and there's just nothing but understanding and supportive and saying hey everybody's going through Take your space take your time. There's no pressure just like be able to show up when you can. I just appreciate that love so much. So thank you. If you're that person you know who you are appreciate you very much for giving me permission to be a human. That's what i want to help. Do for others. Because i get i'm been given that grace So also want to say that. I am pretty burnt out on not to the worst. I've been way worse shape. I've been in worse shape before. But if i say things that are like fragmented and incoherent i apologize. I'm doing the best that i can do. Feel better now than i have in the last like what eighty days but yeah i was wanted to share some of my thoughts and feelings on this because i've been learning so much in thinking about a lot of what has been happening so first of all. I love you guys. My like big intro disclaimers out of the way. I freaking love you and i'm sending love out to you and i'm giving you a big freaking hug because this has been

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