A highlight from Savage Lovecast Episode 782

Savage Lovecast
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Automatic TRANSCRIPT

If I were the conspiracy minded type, if I was the kind of person who would treat the common cold with mercury or leeches or bleeding because someone I worked with once at a cold stone creamery in high school posted something on Facebook about these miracle cures. And I do have a cold right now, colds, remember colds, I love the house for what felt like the first time in two years and promptly got a cold, a cold I am treating with dake quill and tea and toast and television, not Ivermectin or bleeding or leeches. Anyway, if I were the conspiracy minded type, I would think there was some secret coded message buried in a story The Washington Post published last week by Josh dossi and Michael sheriff. It's a really long ass piece. About how Trump has demanded that everyone in the GOP embrace the big lie and about how everyone in the GOP has embraced the big lie. That lie being that the 2020 election was stolen. The big lie is a classic GOP move. A GOP move that predates Trump's political career by decades, accuse your opponent of what you're guilty of. Or in Trump's case, accuse your opponent of the crime you attempted to commit yourself from accusing Democrats of being elitists while keeping tax cuts on billionaires to Trump accusing Dems of stealing the election. He tried and failed to steal as he gears up to try to steal the 2024 election, accusing your opponents of your crimes. That's what Republicans do. And Democrats, what do they do? Fucking Democrats, they stand around in Washington doing nothing for fear that any move to prevent Trump from stealing the 2024 election will invite accusations that Democrats are the ones trying to steal the 2024 election. Accusations Trump and the GOP are going to make anyway, so might as well, you know, do something Democrats, anyway, if I were the conspiracy minded type. I would think there was a coded message buried in The Washington Post story about Trump's speech at a big donor's shindig in Iowa last week, because it can't be a coincidence that this was the 45th paragraph in a story about our 45th president. Unprompted, Trump brought up an unsubstantiated claim he had interactions with prostitutes in Moscow before he ran for president. I'm not into golden showers, Trump told the crowd, you know the great thing our great First Lady, that one, she said, I don't believe that one. First, it's sad, isn't it the way Trump pretends Melania still speaks to him? And I guess she believed all the other ones. But second and most importantly, there's a secret message buried in there. There's gotta be. I don't know what it is. If I had the galaxy brain of a QAnon, always finding secret messages and numbers and patterns. Maybe I could tease it out. But while I don't know what the secret message is, I do know what the secret message is not. The secret message is not that Trump isn't in the golden showers. That man is definitely into piss. Yes, he denied it, like Hillary Clinton and I was eating babies, but that denial, bringing up golden showers during a political rally, out of the blue, just to let everyone know you're not into golden showers, and then dragging your wife into it, apropos of nothing? I'm going to drop a little wisdom here right now. A little free advice, my specialty. If you don't want people to think you're into pests, don't tell people you're not. Don't go out of your way to tell people you're not. To shut up about guests. Look, even if he's into Pis which he definitely is, I'm glad Trump denied it. Because if Trump confirmed he was into piss, or golden showers, which is what people over 50 call piss play. And can we pause here for a moment to consider that? It's interesting. Linguistically, decades ago, people into Pis came up with a name for piss play that was equal parts euphemism and aggrandizing rhetorical alchemy, pissed yellow, but gross, gold is yellow, but desirable, so golden showers, not piss play, who doesn't want to be showered with gold? Today people who like piss younger people hipper people, queerer people, they just call it piss. Gold. You see guys walking around full some SF in rubber shirts that say piss on them or urine on them and no, not all those guys are gay. If you bend to Folsom SF a big fetish street party, you know that it is at this point, at least half straight people. Anyway, forgive me for all of these digressions I am not well. I have a cold. I am not well in ways that are additional to all the usual ways that I am not well. Anyway, if Donald Trump is into piss play, which he definitely is, we don't want him to confirm that for us on ambiguously. We want him to deny it, at least officially, even if his denial really is a kind of bank shot confirmation. Because if he were to publicly embrace it, he got up on a stage in Iowa and said I like my showers like I like my toilets golden. You know what happens next? Pisses the new Ivermectin, the new hydroxychloroquine. They'll all be doing it, like wearing masks and getting vaccinated piss will instantly become partisan, something maga people do. Sean Hannity will be knocking back pints of Pis on Fox News and Tucker Carlson will be pissing on Laura Ingraham at cpac to show fealty to Donald J Trump, orange Julius Caesar. Look, I'm not into piss, and that is me denying it. I realize, but not out of the blue, not apropos of nothing. This is what we were talking about here. But I don't want Trump to ruin piss play for all my Friends and all the guys I know out there gay and straight and buy in pan who are into it. And have spent a lot of money on rubber gimp suits with piss written in giant letters across their backs. Those outfits aren't cheap. Trump destroyed our brains, trashed the presidency and may

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