A highlight from #73: A Mindset to Lead with Influence

Mindset for Life
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Automatic TRANSCRIPT

To be here with you today. Talking about a mindset to lead with influence in today's episode. You're going to walk away with some tips and strategies about thinking. In an influential manner. There will be three concrete steps. You can try to increase your influence in your organization or in your role. And i hope you will also have some insights about the way you think about those people around you. Influence is an interesting thing. There are books written on influence. There are lots of people well known for their influence. And of course there are people in the world called influencers. The kind of influence. I'm talking about is the kind that will help you be effective with other people in the workplace. And i'll give you a little story just to introduce this idea. I was coaching a young woman. Who was an upper manager in a tech company and this person was dealing with a situation that was rapidly evolving. The situation was serious and had the potential for some publicity behind it and it was kind of spiraling the situation had to do with someone else who was disgruntled about something. They were taking very personally in this situation. The young woman was coaching was perplexed about how to proceed. She wanted to sit on the situation over the weekend to think about it and come back the following week after a brief discussion. She determined that she should not sit on the situation. That being responsive was a very quick way to act but also not have to have an answer right away and in doing that she was able to open herself up to the power of her own influence toward this other person. She also enabled the situation to just deescalate naturally which it did. The idea of influence is an interesting one. We each have our own unique type of influence whether we like it or not and whether we're aware of it or not sometimes influence comes from our personalities. Sometimes it comes from specific skills and strategies we learn regardless of where the influence comes from. We influence everyone around us either. Positively or negatively. What kind of influence do you believe you have in the workplace. How do people respond to you. Do you have comments that. Prompt further thought that promote people to open up and discuss things with you. Do you have the kind of influence that promotes dialogue collaboration and from other people. Do you have the kind of influence that shows that you are not a threat and gives you the sense of being approachable in other people's viewpoints. What is it about you that other people take as element that they get when they are around. You whatever that is your influences either inviting people or resisting them. And the kind of resistant influence. I'm talking about is the kind that shuts down conversations. You might have the kind of influence that tells people it's your way or the highway if you're excessively firm decisive and very clean cut about the way you lay things out perhaps even authoritative in nature. Your influence may be one that closes down conversations. Now you get to decide which kind of influences positive and which kind is not what you'd like. All of us as i said have our own influence already the type of influence. Today is the kind that i would call an outward mindset type of influence. Now when you think about things in an outward mindset way we're thinking about other people as equal to ourselves rather than being above us or being below us when we see other people as being equal to ourselves we see them as people we can speak with people we can interact with and people who would like to get more curious about with. We see people as better than ourselves than we feel undeserving or unworthy and we start to like need to be seen as a certain way. Maybe we put on a mask when we interact with them or we flip a switch and we have to perform a certain way in front of them or maybe we just don't even show up at all because we don't feel good enough around that person if we see other people as beneath us as if we're better than them then we either act a little bit Authoritative or demanding or aggressive towards them as if our our way is correct all the time. It's our way or the highway or we might actually deserve things we might act like. They need to do service for us. They show us things like information or explanations are certain levels of performance. Either one of these acting as if for above or below other people really puts us in a place of having a resistant man set and that kind of resistant mindset shuts down our positive influence. It means that we might get what we want. But it's going to be in a way that is not inviting other people to come back again. An openness towards other people is that level playing field where we see ourselves on the same plane as others when we see ourselves as equal to other people as good enough compared to other people and we see them as equal to us now. We have somewhere to go so in this kind of situation. We can have influence as leaders.

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