A highlight from Secret Dump #49: 'Sleep Away Camp'

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to the endless honeymoon. secret down. yeah we to dump some secrets out. Today we gotta take. I'll do it. S secret dump. I was going to say that. But i thought you would disapprove. I'm over it. i can handle anything now. These after the pandemic you can do pooh-poohed humor. Yeah no i think. I think when it finally broke for me is when i had to tell you if i was using the bathroom in your rv. If i was going to shit. Or if i had told me that basically you can see. There's different physical position. You have to get an toilet if you shit so you have to get on your hands and knees and start churning the toilet after you go so then everyone knows you dislike took a shit so then after that happens here first of all you don't have to get on your hands and knees do because it's hard to turn you're doing it wrong trying to say second of all composting toilet second of all. I'm i'm able to separate that stuff out. I don't think about i don't coach. Osi must mean she's been shitting but anyway. Wow now that. I know you shit in the toilet. It's kind of changes everything for me off. We do have a big announcement as you may or may not be able to notice. Cutie is not here. don't say that no. She's not she's outside. We were unable to get her into the recording booth today. She's sending herself old lady in fort lauderdale. She's just kinda like right. Where where miami beach where to. The old women go in florida. I think it's florida all of it. I believe i believe florida's a cavalcade of seniors but Yeah nice weather cuties. No longer with us. She's out out in the on the porch. What i'm getting you ready for when she's about to die but you could croak okay. She looks like she's about to die. I don't know she she didn't talk. You shouldn't mourn the living. I'm not morning are. I'm celebrating her life and when she does pass away. We'll do a memorial episode of her. Don't say that she might not even pass away. That will freak. You gotta admit at a certain point dude. Is it too late to get her cloned. I don't think so. But i wouldn't recommend it. Lie because they attack clone dogs not true never heard of the clone wars and star wars wait clones attack close attack. Are you kidding. No cleanser violent clones of dogs and cats every kind of clone. You remember dolly the sheep they cloned you remember. Do you remember the sheep that you don't remember. The first point sheets killed master true. Yup i don't even know for telling the truth to death i'm serious and then and then and then turned to the other technicians in the lab and said i'll be seriously say what's up. I'm just reporting the news anyway. Don't memorialize the living either. She's fine yeah right now. She's fine. Natasha i would. I'm feeling a little bit full in my abdomen. And i have to just dump some of it out. Do you mind if we dump. Yeah let's let's let's let's take out most up in our hands and knees and hand crank this secret dump there I'm high in the laws And i really thought. I should contact you When i was younger is all a neighbor of genus who come over on his riding lawnmower He was wearing shorts and like at high the hit of his peanuts parallels who is short in and scene and then when i was about nineteen dad told me that This same neighbor was arrested for having child porn on his computer. And i definitely today Wonder if he like meant to expose himself to me like if that was part of that like whole days Anyways love you and all of you hetero normativity very cute happy. That was very patronizing. She's right we like she's like i know that you're underneath whatever i am but i like it. It's like that's how we feel about cutie. That's how she feels about us. Cutie is your equal the dog. what the hell are you talking about. How she's you know she's beneath you. She's a dog but we love her. So that's how that queer woman thinks of us. She's like they're they're cute hundred percent. The guys don was out on purpose. That's my listen. If you have daughters just keep them away from men as much as you can honestly. That's like i'm kind of i. I listen to that larry. Nassar the gymnastics coach podcast series called disbelieved or something like that. I don't remember it's really horrifying and at the end of that. I was just like. Oh it's just never birth to have my kid around men alone ever just never know. In any circumstances. Ever if i gymnastics coach no scout leader. No spend the night at her friend's house with his brothers and dads. It's a hard one. You know what the answer is a town. I would just say no. You're never gonna let her have a sleepover to friends. House she can host ever. She's gonna become like a weirdo. That people are like yeah. She doesn't her mom doesn't letter of sleepovers and then she'll go to therapy and she's not going to connect the dots so she'll say my mom. Never let me have sleepover. She was so afraid of men that she never let me have sleepovers. How about this idea. Okay go ahead. I was gonna say i feel really glad that my mom somehow that from happening to me it seems. Sometimes you get lucky. I'm not saying my. It's my mom's but i'm asleep over. Yeah yeah she didn't. That's not how she did it anyway. Here's the secret. I got it. We cultivate our child. Only being friends with a queer parents or single moms and then if we find out there's a brother in the house say there's something we don't like about that child and then we don't let the hang out there anymore. So she can have the sleepover but we do like a long con- honestly here's here's my suggestion to you. Moshe leap over. I didn't have those clouds. Like fifteen completely insane. Why first of all. I don't literally. I do not believe you think you're lying. That's first second if it's true that's crazy. What were you living in the dead from. Footloose house fifteen fifteen. I was in rehab. Not not like. I was approaching it. I was in already asleep over in like sixth grade. No honey no. You had a sleepover in like when i was like eight eight nine ten. Yeah that's normal. Well i just don't think you need to be pushing it pushing it hose. Who wants to deal with a bunch of kids in the morning. what are you talking about. Pick your kid up at eleven or whatever. I don't know this is crazy. You don't remember sleepovers. How exciting they were you. What you're gonna let the specter of child molestation make it so that our child doesn't have a fun. Childhood sleepover kyun on sleepovers. Were not a big part of my memories of childhood. The will that's reconstructed them with his new foot. Lucienne philosophy

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