A highlight from Sanjay & Rebecca Gupta

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

To find out what makes a marriage last that old expression is there a doctor in the house was never more fitting than one afternoon when marlowe and i had lead doctor in our house. Rebecca and dr sanjay gupta in town of atlanta so they dropped by our apartment to talk marriage from the first moment they walked in. You could feel their com- compatibility bay have three daughters and a busy life and they do a lot of philanthropic work together its relationship. That's built on different cultural backgrounds. Unlike rebecca whose family scandinavian sanjay grew up with a distinct sense of being an outsider as an indian american in a small michigan town. I won't think people knew what to make of of indians. I was the only indian you know really there so there was no there was no history with. I was obviously different. Colored skin. had a funny name. You know all that sort of stuff other than that. There was no. There was no institutional prejudice by that. I experienced with rebecca's fan. Obviously any of that stuff there was other prejudices just because you are different. That was that was. That was a totally lead. Yeah i mean you know where i grew up especially if you're the only person that looks like me you tend to then take on the characteristic and other people's minds of every sort of you know fringe groups so you know for for example. The iran hostage crisis was happening. Nineteen seventy nine. You remember jimmy. Carter was president and and i was ten years old and raanan. But it didn't matter you you were suddenly somebody else outsider. During that time. So i remember that being a really hard time the iran hostage crisis for because it was such a such a big thing in the news and every day it was something you know And you know it didn't make sense to remind people have wasn't iran was missing the point right but so so there was there was there was a fair amount of of boeing. I think that happened You know younger younger years in particular and what's interesting. I think detroit is unique in that it has. That's how it kinda. It's a huge immigration community but everybody stays in our little neighborhood largest arabic population outside of saudi. Arabia is in dearborn. I think right was born. Do boy that right. Yeah i imagined at sanjay's childhood experience would cause this couple to have completely different points of view. That's what i would have thought too. And we kind of grew up similar so we have very similar values similar. Yeah it's hard to say that with his parents being indian and might not i guess but We both came from small towns in michigan and full came from parents. Of like you know working you know white collar parents candidate. Would you appearance to on my father worked for ford motor company. Just like his parents worked for ford motor company. They all of our parents just there one desirous us to have a great education and then they made all amid sacrifices for that to happen. And we kinda have that in common we. We feel that that's important may have other. I mean we both grew up drinking the same powdered milk. We have things were in common for awesome. You're rebecca olson. Yeah sounds like a character in his family. Sitcom i think it was a character in a couple of books but he also tom sawyer and a few other before that sunjay gupta. Wow that was a great. Was that with your parents. My it's interesting. I think there was a a deep especially for immigrants to have their children mary within the same culture. My parents were a little different. It was interesting. My my mom was from what is now pakistan. She fled during the partition. So she was a refugee child for the first twelve. Fifteen years of her life and my dad was in india. So they're both indian but but for my dad's side of the family. She represented a very different part of india. All so different that it was like a completely different country completely different culture and and when they got married neither one of their parents attended the wedding. Oh the protest to me. well yeah they. They didn't support it. Didn't support the wedding. And that in each the both would have had arranged marriages and instead his parents met in the united states outside of their own parents and because they met in the united states and not some neither of them had their own parents arranged who they're gonna marry both of their own parents were kind of like This isn't what we set up this in our traditions They were a little bit against his parents married. So you're poets buried in this country here immigrated here and getting married here. A love marriage as opposed arranged marriages. Rebecca said was very unusual. I mean i think you're dealing over time. I didn't now. I've met tons of people who are my contemporaries indians whose parents all of them had arranged marriages. So i we haven't found anybody else. That sort of got married the way that my parents did. And as a result my friends especially my my friends who were thinking about getting married especially if it was someone who is not indian. It was always my parents that they would go to the. They became those parents for all my friends. Who who wanted. Okay you guys did this sort of very radical thank by having a love marriage and you weren't even from the same part of india the same cast the same background. How did it work. And so when we were talking about getting married while they're still a desire on their part to for me to marry somebody indian. They're much more that they had lived through that. Although i say that at the beginning they still really wanted him to marry somebody in right and and then while we were dating and they realized that it was that we were more likely to be together. Then they started to you know be more accepting of it. Did you have indian girlfriends before. Then yeah i did nothing to too serious but yeah and it was all in college. You know it wasn't anything earlier so these weren't necessarily dad was funny. He he he he said. I don't want to meet any of these girls unless you're gonna marry him that's basically what he told me and my mom sort of followed. That was nine with that so they're not frivolous people. They're you know they're they're engineers. They're mathematics people. They didn't talk about love. They didn't talk about marriage. So if i brought home a girlfriend marrying her. Is that why we're meeting her not point. What's the yeah it really was. What's the point they didn't. There wasn't a lot of the not a particularly emotional couple. There i mean the loving. But they're not very emotional unless regard so. My dad's still shook my hand every

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