A highlight from On Black Mental Health with Dr. Joy

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

The steady strap into right doors. Sixty god and everything. B-batty a luck to this edition of on one with angelo ri-. I am so so elated to have someone who i've heard about so often have seen her on air on breakfast club tack to her talk about her with my good brother menard brecca's club in have heard wonderful things about her podcast which is helping black women. Focus on therapy. It's called therapy for black girls. Dr joy hardened bradford is a licensed psychologist speaker author media personality and the host of this podcast. We just talked about. She went to xavier university. So i have to ask her. She knows my good sister friend. She's also aka which is different is one and she is the resident psychologist for. Oh they're oprah magazine. she has all of the accolade. You've seen her everywhere as you should. And today she is gracing us with their presence. Hi dr joy helu With you alarm. So i'm so thrilled on. We know that this month is very very special for mental health awareness. I know you've got to be very busy but Especially in the midst of a pandemic. How important is it for us to focus on our mental health. No absolutely i mean. I think it's important all the time. But i definitely think with the pandemic we have seen a greater need for us to be paying attention to armijo healthy. No there's just been so much anxiety so much in uncertainty. All of our schedules have changed. Sleep is all out of wag. So i do think it is critical for us to be paying attention to how we're taking care of ourselves right now. When made you focus on black women in therapy I know so often. We talk about the stigma surrounding mental health. A mental health awareness in the black community. I know that i in particular Will say this all the time show. You might chain but i have a harriet tubman necklace on and i keep this as a reminder how much she went through and no matter what obstacle comes. That comes my way on like i can do this. She had to go back. Nineteen times to get three hundred people. And so i'm often thinking about you know how much they had to endure. And i'm always like when i'm carrying is nothing compared to that. I saw you talk about how we should stop doing that. Talk out why and why they focus on black therapy graduates that question because i was going to gently push back on that kind of narrative right because i think that that kind of strength narrative this i can push through anything you know. My ancestors have had to go through far words. Like i think it can be helpful in terms of developing what we call resilience right. Which is our ability to bounce back after difficult situations but i think the trouble with that is sometimes. We don't know when to stop right so if if all of your life is a struggle. If all you're doing is kind of pushing pass then you really are not setting good boundaries for yourself and so you end up with just a whole host of concerns you know so you see physical health concerns as well as mental health concerns. You know that high levels of stress heart disease blood pressure rising like all of those kinds of things come from us being chronically stressed and so when we are saying like i gotta keep fighting. I gotta keep fighting. I think we need to think about how we can do. That within limits like yes. You can't keep going but at what point are you going to stop yourself so that you are refueling so that you can kind of stay engaged in the fight at that is It's so powerful and i. I'm interested in the balance between standing on such strong shoulders in tapping into a resilient so that we can overcome when things come our way and also recognizing when we need to be like help you know his team too much right now so i. I'm not saying you know i. I gotta believe that. Harriet had some footsoldiers with to help for all of those times. So it's not about necessarily standard on our own. But i do definitely deal with like they had way tougher. I can get through this that kind of mentality. You talk a lot about the importance of pop culture in the mental health. Space kind of making these connections is that to normalized. Therapy would is what has been your reason for ensuring that you have kind of these pop culture tie-ins in one second dr joy there's I don't know if that isn't that door that's open. Maybe shari it was like the lomb or you probably can't even here but it's distracting me a little bit inaccurate when i was saying something about the pop culture tiny. Oh yeah so when you when you figure out ways to kind of finesse pop culture into certain analogies around the importance of therapy wise ass so important to you. is that to kind of remove the stigma. It definitely is related to removing the stigma. You know i know that. Not everybody will go to their office or with him. Virtually right but a lot of us are watching different kinds of shows and movies and things on where we can relate to some of these mental health concepts you know. I think sometimes the perception is that mental health is only something we pay attention to in times of crisis right but the truth is that we all have mental health that we can take care of and so using analogies in examples from pop culture. I think really help people to see what mental health looks like in our everyday lives. You know so. We can look at How olivia pope is not doing. A good job of setting boundaries or. We can look at the relationship between mali and easily on insecure. You know it can help us to have some really important conversations in our own lives. And i think that that's really helpful. You know therapy. I think it'd be helpful for a lot of people with everybody's not going to go. And so if there's a way that i can share something on. The podcasts are on instagram or whatever that helps people to make healthier decisions in the interests of prioritizing their middle hill. Then that's what. I think it's useful for so speaking impact college here on this lovely app. That are over us instagram. You have on here There's a quote graphic that you put up. I don't know if it was your quote or if it was Your your guest from your podcast. But it says this whole ride or die. Thing is dangerous and problematic. It is very often women who end up never choosing themselves. We kind of touched on that a little bit already with you. Know maybe overcompensation as the masters resilience right. But why is that so important for us to get. I love saying i'm writer die. That's my i'm like. Well you know how. I am battered. I so talk about why. We should be careful of of using that that that team that that i'm saying to apply to ourselves. I think so much of what we have been taught especially as black women about who we are in relationships is sacrificial right so it is somebody else's knees in somebody else's wants always coming over our own and of course there are compromises in relationships. You know you don't want to be selfish all the time in a relationship but i think so much of what we are taught in socialized in is that we are always to be self sacrificing in so when you are doing that then who is taking care of your needs and your wants you know i think. Sometimes we get to the point where we don't even identify having our own needs in wants anymore. Because we're so focused on the other person and so i think that it is fine of course to be loyal in relationships with it should not come at the expense all the time of you

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