Johnny, United States, Oxytocin discussed on The Art of Charm
Might Be Moody about it but I am making this attempt to understand you on your side over here as well which allows everyone to know what I'm doing is a is for them and stepping over to say hey. I'm willing to compromise. I'm willing to work on. I'm willing. Willing to be open about this just as long as you know I'm making this move I. Witch from leading will allow others to maybe loosen up on. There's if we're looking for a compromise. We're looking for some understanding which if it's going to be a relationship if it's going to be a collaboration, some boundaries aren't going to need to be move the bed and you might learn. Some things love that that's so got. Yeah. Boundaries have to be flexible right? If you're a parent, you know this. You learn very very very quickly. That you know that you see that hard and fast rules. Just don't get you where you're trying to get to. Necessarily oftentimes especially if we're introverted, if we're not verbalised to get, people only have our body language to read in those situations, and just by that example of Johnny saying you know I'm going into unchartered territory. It allows other people in the room if he has a scrunchy brow, or he looks like he's discontent to not read that in such a negative way and go, this is just. Just Johnny working through this creates a better open environment for us to work through those issues and I think the problem with boundaries is when you set them really firm, and he just completely stopped there. It can be very off putting in these team dynamics where we're trying to work through this to get a result that works for everybody every time I skip this kind of thing. I regret it later, just I really starting off slow starting off with some degree of sort of empathic understanding so valuable. Your your dining get to the last one. I can see it on your face. You've gone through the hard stuff going through attention, concerns and boundaries. We love to end on a high note and really we reconstructed this process, and it is intentions, concerns, boundaries, and dreams you end on the the expansive. If this were to go amazing way, what would be true for me? How would I feel? What would I be proud of? What I think would be true for you of this goes really well and US and the project, and then you take it out now now. It's Kinda like that. Metta Meditation, but it really does like you start to get expansive energetically and I. Find it very hard to not be excited about your dreams right like I i. now hold what you want and back in even if there was a little discomfort in the first part of the conversation like okay I feel your heart here I'm excited for what you're. You're excited for start, you know. The oxytocin starts blooming in the room. It's beautiful, but it's where things really come together. It's a great place to wrap it up to know what everyone's dreams our right to have that level of clarity in a team environment in a family environment in your relationships personal. I mean that's such a beautiful thing, and we don't spend enough time, not only sharing the tough stuff, but then that stuff that so enlightening and so inspiring and others. Yeah, we have a thirteen year old son. And this is like the biggest parenting when of my life a couple of weeks ago sitting at dinner. And out of nowhere, bother talking about the bug. And like what are we going to talk about the constitution? Out of nowhere, this kid just says really glad. I'm growing up learning to care about other people's feelings. To me to. Thank, thank you so glad you are too well many of us not only don't share our own, but we certainly don't pay attention to other people's feelings when we're trying to get something done when we have objectives or coming into a meeting with a strict agenda, Awda Daggett shoved to the side, and there's not enough space for it now we ask all of our guests. What their x factor is, and we believe X. factors when a mindset unlocks a skill set for you and makes you unique. What would you say each of Your X. Factors are? Oh. That's not yet. I WANNA. Do you okay? Give me do that. Yeah, even more fun there we go. I think I I mean I. Don't think I don't necessarily always. The gunman great observer of myself so. Also. I love to hear her. Say Nice things about me. Hanger. So I think for Alex what she brings to the table. Is this skill in both listening and being present and being non-judgmental I've never seen I actually. I remember watching so I. I watched the movie super size me ten years before ever went on a date with her, and I was remembering things like tha like it's a very weird experience on a date with somebody who you were like totally into it when you watch the months onscreen. Like ten years before and what I loved about her was when she was a Vegan chef at the time, and and and there her partner is eating McDonald's every day, and she's just going like oh whatever you know like. Like just there there, you're okay, but but it was, but you were and I was wasn't used to I'm just GONNA help myself but I was used to being being nonjudgmental or veterans being under the. A judgmental. And and there's sort of this lack of of judge mental illness in there, but there's this extreme sort of presence, and then there's.