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Childless Not By Choice with Civilla Morgan



I would love for you. Just kind of share. Whatever part of your story if you'd like to or just kind of what? You're doing with your childless not by choice platform. Okay of course and this is a passion for me. So if I'm getting long winded interrupt. Me No worries. Well I I am childless. Not By choice. I guess I can start there and I wanted children in the worst of ways and it just never happened for me. It was a combination of eyebrows and the clock running out not meeting Mr Right etc etc just a combination of life events correctly and I spent ten years trying to hang onto my uterus hoping that would meet the right guy and trying to have. How many three my victims? Which are fibroid removal for surgeries and then in the space of ten years? And then I just gave up in twenty eleven after having so many accidents and incidents and had a hysterectomy but remember my ten years I felt like there was no way that I could be the only person on this planet dealing with everything I was dealing with although I was hiding it from my friends and I thought it was hiding it because I'm sure they knew it was going on. I realized it was time for me to create this plant or and I wanted to get the word out. Globally to women and men after a few years realize. Well wait a minute. Men can be child. It's not by choice to took me a minute but I realized you know I've got to get the word out. I cannot system I saw of. I cannot allow myself to hide anymore. What's happening with me and have other women hiding too and pretending and just you know dying on the inside and so I created a platform. July will be five years of podcasting about this child is not by choice journey and I'm just was so passionate about two years later. Yeah well as you said I mean there's so many different factors that I mean. People remain childless. And I love that you touched on that because that's not you know you hear so many people who are maybe struggling with infertility but what about the people who haven't met the right person yet and what about the people who have you know the fibroids or different things going on that are affecting then and? I just feel like those really talked about as much we hear the what I call the Beautiful package at the end of the story type of story where it goes through a few cycles of. Ivf end up having the child. And that's great. I'm not jealous. Trust me I'm not. I'm really happy for women and men who can have that gift. At the end of their journey there are some of us who are not going to get that gift and like I said for me it was fibroids and some women have multiple miscarriages and then also have an episode on out idiopathic infertility where nobody knows why Just you know and both people are healthy. Just not happening and it just doesn't ever happen in the medical community just does not know why yeah So what how did it go about? I guess when you were starting this project like did you start to see like here from the other women who were in similar situations and just kind of recognize the need for it. No really I just. It was just me just sitting there in silence feeling like a second class citizen. I worked at one place or about six years before I left In the medical community and I unfortunately from me and may maybe it was for reason. Everything happens for a reason but the department that I worked and I ended up sitting near the department that dealt with issues and so we basically dispensed specialty medications and that department handled the dispensing of medications. And sometimes I would hear a women in that department saying Oh my Gosh. Here she goes. She's spending another ten grand. What does she just give up already? And I would sit there listening to them talking and then just be so incensed and just knowing too though that nobody knew my story and a mad at myself a little bit. Because I'm scared to say anything and then I finally did say something and apparently those a meeting and they come down. They stop talking like that. 'cause I made the comment that maybe they should just do their work and keep them out. Shot in all those women had children and so just be quiet and dispense the medication. She has a ten grand. Let her do what she wants to do. And so there was a meeting. They calmed down but I I. I was tired of hiding out and pretending I was okay with the way my life had turned out because I was not okay with it. I was not a with never having married or never having the children. That's not the life I had in mind and so I just started talking about it and I've owned a freedom when I started talking about it that you can't you can't hold any nobody and hold anything over me now. It's out there. The word is out. I am childless. Not By choice. I wanted children. I wanted to have an American be like a normal family and it didn't happen so here we go. The word is out. Yeah well I I love that you touched on to just kind of comments that people make because I feel that so. Many people are affected by that. You know there's A woman that I know that they've they've gone through three times and they haven't gotten pregnant and people will always comment Tu Mam about I don't understand why you guys aren't having kids yet or you know. They haven't shared their journey necessarily publicly. And she's like man. I'm I'm trying. I wish I could you know and people do make so many comments without thinking you know a couple of months ago. I had a miscarriage and then somebody was commenting on a photo being like. Oh I see you still don't have children yet you know and it's like you don't you don't know what people these women are going through right and we really have to be sensitive with the questions that we ask. People. You don't have to ask as soon as you are in a phase in your life. That'S ALL PEOPLE ASK. And it's like how `bout does asking. How are you goodness? I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I'll insult your. Yeah but I mean just asking people like how're you or you know. You look like you're doing great what's going on in your life right. I just I. I don't understand how it is. Society feels like they have say in whether or not you have children right begin with and then they have a say as to when you should and I know that the older generation that's always a question and they don't they don't mean anything by it what I think I think most people on this planet or doing the best thing can I really do Oh but at the same time I think we do need to As we continue on as a race as a human race with acknowledgee and with more understanding and education we need to be able to understand that people are going through difficulties because they don't share their difficulties with. You doesn't mean everything is Okay Your Business Really. You

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