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Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Understand how Raina got where she is today you gotta know something about her mom she loves artichokes this one day when Raina was nine her mom served them for dinner later Raina and her siblings Amara and will went to bed so to their parents Glenn in the middle of the night Raina and her mom woke up with the stomach flu and then we were throwing up artichokes and artichokes have a chemical in them that makes water tastes sweet when you drink it after you eat one so I threw up and then she hands me like a little Dixie Cup of water and drank like Harry you know rinse your mouth out and it was grows it tasted like sugar sweet water so there's also this weird thing happening around like water doesn't taste like water what is wrong so she was like oh Jeez oh sorry it's because we had artichokes dinner when Rano went back to school she tried to gross everyone out with her barfield artichoke story she figured her friends with since fourth grade was pretty much one big gross out contest but this story this was over the top not funny they told her and then a couple of months later I felt sick again and that I was going to throw up again and for some reason it was like a curtain just as Senate over my body where now the idea of being sick was almost worse than the thing itself Raina didn't throw up but the intensity of worrying that she would that changed her it meant that anytime like my brother was sick he was really little and he got sick all the time and I would like leave the house and go try to sleep in the car and somebody at school went. Oh that makes me wanna Puke I was like I'd freak out and I started being worried anytime like a friend would go to the bathroom and like didn't come back for a while it just immediately started thinking oh no what if she's in the bathroom throwing up I was afraid of vomiting is called Meta phobia I didn't know that word until Mum Metaphor recently yes a Metaphor he is the pathological fear of vomiting I was nine and I was afraid of throw up what was the anxiety about the like you said there was like a curtain like what were you afraid was going to happen I don't know Oh i think I was just afraid that I was going to get sick or that the feeling of being sick was just as bad as death RENA basically became a full-time avoid her but it wasn't just that free trout food could send her reeling I mean artichokes obviously and mushrooms milk she was also scared of bees scared of my parents dying scared of needles scared of pooping my pants scared of doctors scared of surgery scared of getting bad grades China's reading handwritten words from a few panels in her new book or guts thickness on the pages you see her nine year old self nauseated and sweaty surrounded vice swirling green clouds and then the third panel the words have just gotten bigger and bigger and more intense and they are pressing down on my characters figure and here it says snakes pain doctors war drowning choking that it math death stupidity talking sickness and kidnapping because that was real big in the eighty s everybody's talking about kidnapping these anxieties they run the gamut from like small too big career Listrik to like imagined you know it sounds like you were feeling scared all the time yeah I was extremely anxious S. and anything could trigger me and anything could go from being totally benign to being something horrifying in a blink and what was that like like to live in that state all the time I will describe it as being both extremely noisy an extremely isolating all these would go in there and they would make noise but the isolation came from feeling like I couldn't talk about it and like this was weird and that nobody else would understand on this and I was the only person who had that's like this in their head because I look over at my classmates and they're just you know normal like doing their own thing and making friends with each other and hanging out and like eating their lunches and stuff and I was like oh my gosh how can they do that