Christie, Bunny Ranch, Chris discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

The are you like. You're nervous but so you're talking. She's going on with it but D- kind of wish she wasn't talking or are you know we're talking about movies and stuff. Yeah no I want her talks. I got to know her more so career as a person rather than just some as you got to know her did that ease. Yes because then we started a joking in the show her pictures dogs. Oh Hey that's nice. Yeah Okay Eh. Let me just like burs. Legal out of these guys get off work. They burst in that ranch. They have a set price. They just Bam Bam Bam Bam and then they leave. Yeah and I guess I used to but I'd like that's just not how I see. Women see women as like a slab of meat on so you who makes the first move after you talk for awhile knows no she just. You had the director. I don't know if the other what the other ones do with this one like. She wouldn't do anything until you start to this. Hey that's that's pretty rough as a virgin like even now. I don't want to direct. I think even if you're a regular guy who had sex a million times still rough. It'll be like yeah. You're doing this and she just keeps doing that motion until you tell her to stop allow another motion so it was like it was really weird. That's awkward. Yeah it was. What was the motion that she was I doing because they're not kissing? Okay she's doing it and you have to be like all right now. Move on to move on to. I don't know Jerk me off. I'm just thinking of different things. I don't guess we should do this. I wish she kinda was like all right. I'm going to start with this and we'll go to this would do that. You know what I mean like. I thought that was was going to be like so when when it was time to have sex you to be like okay. I'm ready to have to be like okay. Now you have to have sex. Then she gives the condom. You have to put a condom on the condom on you. I told you too I just threw would have you know when you got to put this on me molly. What's going on here? Did that did that turn you on that. She was doing it no no just like I don't really I learned that Daniel Condoms also get what I don't like condoms at all. The one discovered that that guys. I don't even know what the second hour was much better than the first and then it happened. I was no longer a virgin. How much how much did this cost? Okay so here we go. This is a part of him putting the article so first of all the reason why went down was I started on my comedy and she said her favorite comedians Christie's the Fatah Krista Stephanos Avenue. Okay and I said Oh I know him at. She's between him and Carly Aquilla and I told her the story of what happened when he broke up and she got really excited by that also. So that's what gets her excited. Yeah she's Christie's that you so hot and then she like went from fifty miles an hour to one hundred and that's how it kind of like she got. She got really into into it. Because I know Chris Stephanie. She was excited about a relationship breaking up that she knew the comics. The if you could meet Chris Steffano threw me if contact and that she can fuck you. Did she make you sexy you have to say you're Chris when you falker. No no but I would put on the blonde wig or something. How much did this cost? This is a great friend run experience. So here's what happened. So they go in the room and she goes. Well listen so so. I had a budget in my mind of two to three grants. I figured like this is the Bunny ranch and you look at the girls the website and like you know you know this is going to cost more. It's going to. I don't even know how much I don't. I don't know how much well I know now because I'll tell you in a second. Why no no so I go? She goes it goes so listen so you know. I have to split all the money with the house. I only make a lot of money So I'm thinking that for ninety minutes FOR GRANDDAUGHTER LISA TO GRANT IT In my head and well that's a thousand more than I had budgeted and I'm like okay and you go into another room. They take a copy. Happy your ID just in case you go crazy there so they have a copy of your idea to show the cops. You have to fill out paperwork to my credit card. got declined to call chase be like why are you in the middle desert charging four grand no buying a bottle club. But here's the problem. I should've realized that even is not enough time and also probably should the border her down Everybody negotiates yes so I got to the end of ninety minutes and nothing happened so I had to re up and she goes. I can't do less for it at less than two thousand outside to spend another thousands so you have to get dressed. Go Run your credit card again. Sign another piece of paper. Take another some reasoning. Another photocopy my I D I. I don't know why we already have what. Why and then go back home and then the clock starts by? You've done all this additional paperwork ceiling out of it but down I started Christie's I just start talking about comedy started. Like what are your interests speed round but must be dating. What are your interests but see some type of fucking connection with this person? You ever tell Chris you you might like to hear that. Okay good for you bro. Yes even on the show okay cool. Here's the thing it wasn't talked about you. which is weird? A some girls are very good. So tell me okay. Here's the thing. It wasn't some life altering event sex all my life. All My life people had held sex over my head like it was the master sword in Zelda. It was fine it was fun after sex. I walked out and there was a very late is very late tonight. In the staff was watching ant man and wasp. Okay describe the sex to me could you. Yeah what you would call losing your virginity. How was that? It was like like how to have lost. You have someone your head in. It's different where you on top. No she was on top she was untitled work did she guide Europeana's inside of her. Yeah well she basically just jammed in Did did that feel good jam. It did feel the full exactly how we had in my head like all my whole life like when you picture it. Yeah like it was warm and stuff and okay yes and then like she just went for it so she was she was moving around. Yeah did you move in pace with Ya I tried yeah. Did that. Feel good like just the motion folk good but it wasn't like think what I'm trying to It was like exactly how you pictured cats wasn't what I pictured in my head when I was a kid. This was exactly what I pictured it. And how would it go from there. She's on top. You you guys are both moving. Your she's holding onto me. Okay you know what I am. Grabbing her S.. One grab your as we're doing this because yeah whatever okay Some holding onto Rasa Kaye. My hands runner as well. She's still on top when you came. Yes okay so there was no other positional. Okay no once we once we had a going and is that we've literally like it was like an NBA playoff final. Alan re point. I think if it was like if it was like one twenty. I'm just free selling here on early. EXACT ZAC time. I think we got done. One twenty-seven okay. So I seven minutes you're having actual intercourse well. We tried it before so there were like two or three moment intervals whereas this is work. What do you mean like she put it in but then like I got soft again because it was like nerve wrack okay did you guys change condoms got off? Yes you have to change the com okay and she put it on again Dan. Yes it was turning you off about it just like the way the condom felt and also like the slow she did it very slow Like even in opening it so like I'm hard and like all right. I'm hard but I'm I'm very nervous. This is kind of weird I'm in the middle of the desert with his chick. I don't know but So but you gotta get it so like I sat there at one point. You GotTa get this on me right away because this is very nervous. Does very nerve wracking for me. You know what I mean like. She was bad at her job. Yes back because now I've hooked up with some other girls. Yeah she have sex but I talked to the girls yes she wasn't that good. Yeah like looking back. 'cause my friend who kiss that was a virgin to time and a lot of things she did with her mouth were lot better than this prostitute. Well it might have been just the way you guys click. I'm talking about she. She didn't do her job right because to me her job in your specific as I was to make you feel comfortable about intercourse and yes because you could like not like her technique or not like you know whatever it is whether whether it's physical or how it's intimate but it was her job to make you feel an intimate sensation. Well the thing about it is when I got. Sh should've just sat there. Like what do you want me to do. And it's like the reason why I gave you the back story. Basically the backstory was. Because I figured like these people are experts. And they're going to be all right. This guy doesn't know X. Y. Z.. Someone got like I go when when I went to train I went to my trainer I've never been to. I've been to a gym since high school. And he showed me step by step. What a day and now muscles unless forty three pounds because he showed me step by step? Well do he okay. This guy is a blank slate. I bet that same trainer would affect you for for grants. If I would've fucked me really well. Because he got his doing he would a walked you through that utilizes. Oh I yeah I via sexy hoppers Lou. Like the whole night. But that's what I thought was going to happen here. I thought is like all right. The ones who step three. I understand that that expectation expectation. Do you tip. Oh yeah so I spent five grand. I may tip. They're like to To Eighty two hundred on the on the four on the ground eighty. So I'm like I can't be found money. Do they bring it up or in their credit card receipt on your credit card but there's a tip section like how did you know he just they just punch it. Did you WANNA leave a tip. So they will they ask you. Yeah I'll give her two hundred so forty two hundred you tip ahead of time. Yes I know right. And then they just sit there what what he owed he wanted to do. The fact I walked out. It was very late at night. Staff was watching ant man and wasp. They asked if I wanted to watch with my dad. We talked about venemen infinity. War was that more fun than sex. No but then we but it was very weird until like I'm in the middle of nowhere. I'm with a bunch of prostitutes and they're lilly watching marvel movie like that's that's that's so and they're asking me about venom and Thanos is just such a moment. It's like I'm never going to not be. WHO THE FUCK I I? You're the bunny ranch. And they're watching superhero movies classic. Gut's it occurred to me. I'm in the middle of nowhere in with sex workers. I'm watching a marvel marvel film just like I do at home. You can't escape who you are. So here's my advice..

Coming up next