Phil - Growing up gay in South Africa


It can tell from Phil now. He grew up in South Africa where he knew from a very early age that he was gay, and he got bullied for it from the age of eight I think I always knew from a young age, but for me it was different levels of awareness so when I was really young I found myself getting those butterflies in that shy feeling by looking at old is so you know when you see little schoolgirls and they all shy when they see their friends older brothers Zoll. Things like that! That's how I felt and it felt. Different to looking at my other male straight friends, who would get the same feelings for girls? So I had the awareness that they was a difference there I was getting that feeling by looking at guys, but they were getting that feeling looking at girls, and what's certain Cevennes near young mind that there was anything wrong with that, or did you just sort of acknowledging and and run with it I think as I got older Changed the way I. I thought because the majority of the people I was hanging around with were attracted to the opposite sex so I then thought okay. There must be something wrong with me because I didn't know anybody else. Who has in the same situation as me? Let's put this in a setting. Then how old were you? Where were you growing up? I think the awareness really started when I was four five and I grew up in South Africa. That's young, isn't it? Yeah, well I mean the thing is i. that's why I had different levels of awareness as about myself as I was growing up. So I mean yes, I had like kiss catch with girls, but then I had the feeling. Oh, I want to play catch with boys. You Know I. think that would be a little bit more exciting. And then I got a little bit older and. It was. Should I be having these feelings and I think you are actually the first person on the podcast from South Africa. Yes, so I don't really have much of a sense of what it's like growing up being gay part the Elliott Bay Community in South Africa what what was it like south? Africa I find is a little bit more. Conservative than here in the UK. And at that time it was quite homophobic. Very traditional men do this woman do this. That really affected me and I found it quite difficult. There were slows thrown about about being gay I can remember being a kid, and for those the listeners who have some experience in South Africa the word was more fee, which was fag basically and Offie Molefi. So. I was called that a lot I didn't even know what it meant. My mom tells me about the story. When I was young, I must've been eight or nine, and and I would go to my mom in our say mom, how do gay guys? And she said to me I know Philip. How do gay guys walk and I said I don't know, but the people at school are are teasing me because they say that I'm gay because I walk in a certain way and I didn't even have a label for it, but it was really really hard, even for my mom and Dad. They never really had any experience in lgbtq stuff and they've learned a lot through me. Yeah. It's a similar story with a lot of people are told to. Kind of like a lot of parents learn as they go on, which is why sometimes their first reaction isn't always the best one because they literally done what to say, they have gotten a reference point. They haven't met any other LGBT people until that child comes out. This is what it was like with my mom and dad because they grew up in Rhodesia and Zimbabwe. and. It was a lot more conservative than over in the UK, so they didn't have a reference. They didn't have any friends and relatives that were comfortable in coming out and saying who they really

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