Building a Resilience Bank Account


Well come to episode forty seven of everyday. Buddhism making every day better I'm back. I took a few weeks off as is obvious from the. Missing podcast episodes that usually are there every couple of weeks? Just to sort of rebuild. rebuild. My strength my optimism and sort of developer. Resilience Bank, which is what we're going to be talking about in this episode. You know and I just. Explained what I was about to do on facebook post about three weeks ago I shared was probably more about four weeks. Now, a shared a post and a link to an article called your surge capacity is depleted and it's why you feel awful. It's an article written by Tara Haley. and. Shared my personal facebook page, and also the everyday Buddhism group I wrote I'm sure many of you have already hit the point where you're surge capacity is is totally depleted either just recently are months ago. And in the last few weeks, so this would have been. About a month ago I faced up to the fact that I'd been feeling off and awful for days on end. And feeling that way is something I am not at all familiar with as nearly incorrigible glass half full person. I totally identified with Tara, Haley's description about what she's going through and how strange it was for her being a high achiever to feel what she described as a quote anxiety tainted depression mixed with on we that she couldn't kick. And it was also along with the complete inability to concentrate. And I read that it was exactly the way I'd been feeling. So those of you in my everyday Sanga in everyday. Buddhism membership community know that I recently did face up to the fact that I needed to give myself a little break. And in in the article Tara Haley points out that expecting less of yourself is exactly what you should do to help yourself go the distance in this pandemic even though we don't know how long distances or what we're gonNA find at the end. Her article talks about this thing called them big use loss and it's why we feel so bad. And how it's news for Motif for many of us. and how we have no coping skills. Much like my recent everyday Buddhism podcast called six steps for coping with uncertainty with Gregg creech healy asked the question. How do you adjust to an ever changing situation where the quote new normal is indefinite uncertainty So, it's been a little over a month since I released the episode with Gregg. Creech and it gave myself time to think about. Writing, content having ideas for content or recording content. I. Also took time away from hosting the Everyday Buddhism Sanga or which we call the Everyday Sangha with gratitude for volunteer hosts from the Sanga who took over for me. Just a few weeks prior to recording the episode with Greg We lost our dog Bella. She was fifteen and the last dog in the House since we lost her litter mate brother back in April of two thousand nineteen. So I did realize that I was personally was dealing with a mix of this thing called ambiguous loss as well as the more tangible loss and grief of losing Bella. You know a while ago. I expected to snap out a feeling awful within a week or two into this past month of my break. But I'm here to report that just giving myself a little break wasn't a magic solution. I did what seemed to be all the right things I took more walk spent more time outside read more and. Let Myself. Sleep in. But it still seemed harder for me to focus and get motivated to do the things I needed to do. But see it's Haley's article She she she points out that this is very typical. she did interviews with an masten, PhD Pauling boss, PhD and Michael Madhouse md.. About. Our adaptive surge capacity that we call on in response to a short term stressful situation like a natural disaster and it's that adaptive surge capacity the it's it's met for the short term situation. So therefore, it has limits. And in this situation that we'RE DEALING WITH WE'RE WE'VE depleted that surge capacity because our emergency is no longer short-term, it's now chronic. And I've been hearing from friends family and Sanga members who feel the same way he in the Article Pauline boss emphasizes how are solution oriented culture and way of thinking is actually destructive when faced with the problem that actually has no solution. This time of ambiguous loss causes feelings of helplessness and hopelessness and a better way to deal with these feelings is not through trying to think our way out of them or find

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