It's Okay To Admit You're Not Okay by Melani Schweder
It's okay to admit you're not. Okay. Bye Melanie sweeter of a brighter wild dot com. Hello dear friends. If you're anything like me, you're probably quite accustomed to putting on a smile and acting fine even when you're not sometimes, we can't avoid work school or social situations. No matter how we're feeling and we don't always feel comfortable dragging around our demons with us. So we lift up the corners of our mouths, cover up the pain and Spat out empty catchphrases in the guise of staying positive. We even do this to ourselves. Sitting at home alone were staring into the mirror we talk up little inspirational sayings and force are nagging little mental demons back into the dark corners. This is probably something that everyone can at least partially relate to but his practically a cornerstone of the chronically ill community. We are afraid of being a Debbie Downer afraid of being vulnerable afraid of being set apart from the rest of our friends and coworkers, and so the masks go on we say everything's okay even if we're exhausted or depressed or in a painful flare up. Even I find myself repeating the same phrase. When asked the obligatory `non-question question how are you? Oh, I'm doing well and you it's almost like someone has pulled an invisible string in my back prompting the exact response regardless of how I'm actually feeling that day. Maybe you find yourself doing the same. And just so we're clear I'm not advocating for spilling your guts out whenever someone simply tries to make small talk. There's a time and place for sharing your truce and struggles plus it's honestly just as bad to respond to someone asking how you are with I'm so stressed or tired or depressed or angry each and every time that's not a helpful way to interact with the world either perhaps you know someone who takes these opportunities to launch into a pity-seeking diatribe about their latest symptoms or doctors, appointments, more career failures, and perhaps your reaction to this person only reinforces your smile and fake it till you make it approach just something ponder. But this blog is really about allowing yourself to be exactly where you are right now instead of pretending or putting on a show, there's a pervasive oppression in the positivity and spiritual communities that tend to make us feel ostracized for experiencing a depth of painful and sometimes uncomfortable emotions. pain or fear or despair, and we are told to simply get rid of those feelings and replace them with something Shinier in prettier and happier. But the problem is emotions just don't work that way. When we stuff down our darkness, we only invite in more anxiety and shame wrapping are already blue moods in a blanket of self loathing embarrassment for those of us on. A healing adventure it's hard not to get sucked into the cult of positive thinking our brains absorb all the quickey facebook posts and motivational quotes, and soon, we begin to think that our ability to feel a wide range of emotions. Both good and bad might be an unhealthy think. Maybe we should only be feeling morm- fuzzy positive things. Then maybe we will finally heal ourselves. no let's just stop right there. Yes being optimimistic and choosing to focus on the lessons and opportunities, and all of Life's challenges is a good thing and can help you feel better. But you know what place real healing comes from self acceptance when you allow yourself to feel everything fully to sit with each thought and emotion until you've seen their every angle, that's when you start to heal when you accept yourself as beautifully flawed human being with both shadow an light aspects. That's when you start to heal when you allow yourself to be afraid and vulnerable and let love and support into your life. That's when you start to heal. You don't heal by denying your pain you only he'll when he walked through it. When something is kept invisible that thing tends to grow stronger, right so stop fighting with your own truth and allow yourself admit you're not okay. Sometimes, you can scream it in your car during rush hour traffic. You can softly side into your to your Sochi Yoga Mat. You can see it in therapy or over coffee with your best friend. It doesn't matter so much the method just that you're allowing yourself to be where you are without judgment. Dark things live within all of us is not just you all we can experience fear pain desperation loneliness Malays and lots more things that maybe we think we shouldn't be feeling but by denying them or sugar coating them, we're only letting them grow and fester until we're sick with self negation. So ask yourself how am I really feeling right now what is going well in my life and what are the things that I want to change? What is making me anxious or depressed or angry, and how can I allow those feelings to just be? I've been do some very dark places in my own life with six years of illness already passed a recent painful divorce and unexpected move out of my beloved home and current career and financial pressures. Yes. I think of tasted the unique flavor of every emotion on the spectrum at this point Augusta Tori journey of doubt and fear freedom and heartbreak pain an awakening. I've been lucky to have a beautiful few people who then runaway upon seeing my suffering they simply held space for me to feel what else feeling in the moment no judgment. No shame. No frenzied attempts at fixing me. I felt safe in that space to admit I wasn't okay. Are you ready to hold that kind of space for yourself? I hope you are or at least in the time being a hope you have a beautiful few people of your own who can hold it for you. Just remember everything you're feeling and experiencing is just perfect. You are exactly where you are supposed to be let yourself explore the shadows as well as playing the light.