Dr Ayman, Thatcher, Jasmine Lake discussed on The Jasmine Star Show
Talk to me about that so I would sit there for hours and then I would drive. How I it's so true? Do a little rain dance. Yeah that cargo the so you need the friends who will do the rain dance with you to make the clouds go away. I mean how perfect is that it is true and so those are some of the tools that I used. I wanted to share them with you because I told Jasmine I want to talk about how we got to a better place. We're not perfect. It's not totally gone but we are both in better places than we were with depression so I wanted to talk about how we got there so I actually love that because I feel like it's just encouragement for for what I am currently working through so all of those four main points you articulated or things that I am still doing so in light of a full disclosure. I have come a very long way and I look forward to the day that I can be just like amy and say it has been a thing that I have worked through and it is a thing that my pass pass. I am not quite there yet. I do struggle with it. I have come a long long long way a first steps and this and they just want to be make sure that I'm very open and super super respectful. I have to understand that my parents are immigrants. America is different how we navigate. Conversations is different in so I don't think they ever stigmatized the idea. Hi Dear of speaking to a therapist but they meet very very upper-class in so for people who aren't from California Kelvin is very segmented and it's admitted by county and so my parents it's L. A.. Through and through lake go Thatcher's that's my dad. Okay so when I told my parents go Thatcher's Eh. Okay so what. I told my dad that I really wanted that. I was going to start. Seeing a therapist holds up his pinky finger. Orange County Your Soldi Cownie Oni. And it was a joke it or as my dad says yoke okay so it was a joke. It was a joke but I think that it was a difficult conversation relation to have like. What does it mean because my whole childhood we had a groceries donated on the porch and we rode the bus to church? And so this idea of paying somebody he to cure you talk was foreign is like literally a flying pig and so I felt like what I realized I had to make. A hard decision was that I cannot expect. Act Anybody in my life to accept the responsibility to walk me through a very difficult path. So if you feel like you don't have that person that's okay your next objective would be to take the responsibility to find people in your life now. I will say that my husband is my best friend in just foundation and he is so good and he is so kind and he listens however. I also don't think that my husband should be a therapist. That's a great the point and I've had the luxury I think that's phenomenal but I also do think that I really wanted to have like a clear distinction and I'm just like Taipei. I'm very pig headed and I'm like well. Do you have a degree. So that was the first step so hearing that you found a great therapist and it's a big difference friends and there was a really really really dark time in my life and those are on Two Thousand Fifteen where. I knew that I had nowhere to go like. I was just rock bottom and I have nobody to talk to. I am just. I'm strung out like my heart. My soul feels those broken and so the minute. I found a therapist initially. I didn't think he was all that great. But I told myself and I tell people were looking for therapists is to be fair to yourself and to be fair to them and that would give him at least three opportunities of that. Because I feel like every therapist I've ever been to. I did not love them. We'll it's like you're literally going on a blind date right right and you know therapists websites are terrible. They basically need to go through one of our trainings to be like guys. You got a brand yourself. A student that he helps therapists with websites. It's because they're so god bless him terrible they literally say nothing so you kind of go in is literally a blind date and so I didn't really like vibe with all that much in the first time but he said Hey. My Rule of three three the second time he came around the third time was when he's just started kind of just like itemizing asking questions after the note that he takes. I'm seeing a pattern in the story that you're telling the wait you're talking and I was like okay. Let's go for meeting number four and then I had stayed with him for about three years in throughout that time when I was in a really really bad place that I felt that as a business expense I needed to get help. I couldn't keep running at that pace and so I met with him once a week. Doc for about six months and then from there started meeting every other week every three weeks once a month and that was the first step and then I just started taking the time in in my life and my business to start doing research like I needed to understand so I once heard this analogy when you break a bone you get an x ray and they find out. What's wrong with your bone than if you have a tumor? They ah or scan and banned it but if you go into your doctor and you say I'm sad like something's wrong with in my head. What what is done with that and I started doing research and I came across Dr here actually you Dr Ayman and he wrote a book and I think it's like a change your brain change your life of love? I love him. Oh I thought it was Ayman well. Here's the thing if you're religious it's because to me he's like Amen. Yes this man and then other people who are like agnostic. uh-huh Ahmed I'm just getting. I actually don't know the exact right right just like so really his book with like his book was Scientific Ryan's if proof. After years and years and years studying the brain is like the thoughts we have impact our break. They literally have a physical manifestation. If you think negative thoughts your your brain reacts to the negative thoughts and gives out physical manifestations of your thoughts it is no longer speculative it is just the truth and and so he had said that every morning he starts the date and he says today's going to be a great day and our brains are hard-wired to listen so it may create a distinction Asian the mind in the brain or two different things. This is you lost me. What do you mean so the mind is in control? Yeah and the brain is an Oregon. Okay so when you understand your mind you can control your organs so when you say your minds as I'm going to have a great day your brain then says yes. Yes Sir right away captain. We're GONNA make that happen. It's hardwired to listen. So if we have control of our mind and this is not like a feel good. Everything's going to be happy. Happy Hunky Dory. No this is literally the very first step that you can do also heard that when I'm Stein will go up. He would say thank you a hundred times before we got tab not as so good that actually makes emotional because Agu in all you do in every morning I put my hand on my heart and he thank you thank you okay. It's just because when you wake up and you think you just see the gratitude and Gosh Dang it. There are some really hard days but when you say I have a roof over my head I have have something in my refrigerator. have gas my car. We are literally the one percent when we say those three things. We're the one percent of the world and I think even even on the dark days you realize that we are just so so so lucky to be where we are and if we could find a glimmer of that silver lining already taking a step forward so real quick. Am I just making this lake. The is just happy hour. Jasmine Lake basically is like. We're getting drunk on sparkling water. y'All forgot to tell you she's also in a leading to. Oh my God are we going there. Are we going. Oh did not come at.