John, Janice, HAM discussed on Let's Talk Dementia
Well Hello Everybody and Carol Hal which let's talk dementia. You've chosen join me as I sit here. Recording this episode. I realize I've got readers around my neck in readers on my head. I've got readers all over my house yet. Do you think I know where they are when I need them? No and then I take my readers off and I can't find my regular classes. Do you guys have these problems? Will today I wanted to share with you. A question that came from Janna Smith Genesis. Caring for her Step Dad who was a hundred years. Old Amazing isn't it? I have a client who is one hundred seven I believe and she a couple years ago told me she was going to get married. I'm like hey go for it. Who Am I decided right? She did not get married but jam. This is asking about when it is time to move from traditional underclothing undergarments and in this case on boxer shorts for her Stepdad. In for changed him into depends right when it's time to make that move and and she was expressing her frustration because her dad. Whose name is John Utterly. That's yes John He Urinate Liver. Everything in all the woman does is wash because she washes underwear. She washes closing. She washes bedding. She washes sheets pillows. She washes chair covers. She washes stuff all the time and her big frustration that brought about the email and a phone conversation. We had came win in the midst of all of this washing and drying her dryer dies. You know sometimes you just reach your point. Don't you think it's interesting? How in our lives the great big things? We seem to manage. It's the minutia of the day. The little things that sometimes. We'll just put US ride over the edge in for her. She kind of reached that when she called me and she said how do I know when it is time for him to start using Thebenz and I said well the answer is now thank you for Calling Goodbye. And she just laughed. I'm like this. Is You know no big deal. Just make it happen. I remember when it was time for my momma to move from her underwear and panties into depends pull up type products. I was really concerned about that. Just like Janice was because my mama had her underwear sent from a store in Washington state and my mom live in South Carolina. She loved her unware issue. Talk about how the most wonderful thing she ever worn. Not Oh if we take these away in wicked Mama these pull ups which aren't pretty. They're just not now. They're better than they used to be. You can even get them in colors. But they're still not my mom's comfortable underwear. She is going to not be happy. Well I'm a couldn't care less. She just transitioned ride into as if it was nothing. I'm still sort of shocked about that. So I told Janice this very well may be the same type thing with John. I did read the mand her going ahead and removing from the house all of his boxer shorts two reasons for that one. John Won't find them and put them on into Janice won't just give up is just forget it. You can wear whatever you out to him. Frustrated with you because they're going to have any kind of like when you were potty training your kids you know you got rid of all the diapers so they had to use the bathroom in you had met help them learn. Because you've already got rid of all the diapers understand that. But I told her I town it's GonNa be as big of a deal as she thought whereas you're imagining it to be and you know what she since written feedback and he was fine with whatever. I can do that. That's fine and it does cut down on the number of loads of laundry. The poor woman cut do all the time and we have to think about things like that. I told her also consider the blue pads that you can put under them. While they're lying on the bed you can either put it directly underneath them in their absorb it or underneath the sheet to hold it in place in most places do that. I think directly underneath the sheet where it separates the sheep from the mattress. So then the only thing that you might have to wash would be the fitted sheet. You can get those blue pads are disposable where you can get the conduct you wash then again. Backed Washington bunch of stuff. That's not so much fun. Will they not do recommend is if you're buying pull ups for a male by the kind made for men because where the urine comes out in a male is in a different position than it is on a female like you didn't know this already but if you're going to buy who loves you might not think about it so with the mail that sticker up near the Front for female. It's thicker down near the bat because of where you're GONNA come out. It's just GonNa work better so by mail products for males female products for females. Neither the to show mix so she did that. You also wrote me that. She had another item. She wanted discusses in Emma's like happy to read it and she said John has a boo boo under his nose above his lip there that he picks at all the time and she cannot get it to heal up. She tried putting a band aid on it. She's tried doing everything she knows reminding John. Quit picking adequate picking at it. But you know she doesn't keep eyeballs on John. Twenty four seven in just as soon as she's not looking you know what he does sure enough. Yep He takes the scam right off of that boo boo and it's not very attractive. And it's kind of embarrassing. We go out in public. But what are you gonNA do about it? Well my bought for her. Is this get it checked? Let's make sure we don't have some ambition going on there that there is not something that we need to be treating that it needs some kind of medication or some action taken and if everything is okay they may be just back off a little bit. In every time John goes to pick on it remind him not to. But don't stop there. Take that next sentence to be something like Hey John how about we do this instead. So we've taken John's hands from picking on this thing on his lip. Now we're GONNA take those hands and do something different to keep his hands busy and take his mind off of his lip. She's not able to do that every time. And you have to recognize that you just have certain capabilities within yourself. There are things we can change in our world. There are things we cannot change. Are we learning that Moore so right now in the midst of Rana virus than ever before and it's true in caregiving so we have to kind of take a chill pill sometimes and choose our battles and so that was my advice from his? Janice and I would love to hear from you. I am offering free thirty minute. Phone consultations they don't cost you don a promise you they don't cost you a dime you just need to go to. Let's Talk Dementia Dot. Org and Click on calendar events. I have put up some dates for the next week or two and you can click on the day and the time that works for you and you have instructions there to email me your phone number and I will call you at the day. On the day time you selected and we'll talk about what's going on in your caregiving world. Maybe you just want to share your frustration or maybe you have a question or maybe have a story just calm love having the conversations and Hey. I make that interaction too because you know what? I'm quarantined to. My husband always tired of looking at me. Well I want you guys to be very safe and I want you to win you what I want when you think about. You need to go out for something to think about this. Do I need it enough to risk my life than others? I don't care what it is unless it's medication and you can have that liver. Don't go out just don't you don't meet whatever it is that bad. My daughter and I had decided that for Easter Sunday. Since we can't be together she would cook a meal and I would cook too cook part of the meal. How could the other parts million we would leave it on each other's doorsteps so we have a regular Easter dinner? That meant I needed to go to the grocery store public today or tomorrow and get a ham which. Ps I do not eat but my son in law my daughter and my husband likes and I was going to go out just for the ham wasn't is just dumb. That is we do not need a ham bad enough to risk getting corona virus. Dying no especially for this girl. Don't even eat me so what I'm thinking about doing is placing my my monthly order groceries through the delivery service. I use INSTA- cart and if they have a Ham. I'll get the Ham if they don't have the ham carols not going to go out and buy one. I'm just not we don't do that. Spe- say don't spread what you've got and don't be in a place where you might get what someone else has in. Let's stop this whole situation in our world by being responsible all right. I hope you smile a lot. Hope in the process of all that's going on in our world you remember. You will come through this. We all will come through this in. Life's GONNA be different. Life will still be good. God still going to be with us at left. Us never will lessen since miles. Let's talk. Dementia would like to thank our sponsors National Association of Veterans and families. You can reach them at eight hundred three five to to nine one nine on the Internet at www dot in a vhf dot org. They speak veterans. So you don't have to and you tell them Carol. Saint you when you call to inquire about benefits for the veteran the spouse of the veteran or both editor bed you can find Miss Beth crosby at editor Beth Dot Com. She is amazing. Looking at what you've written in making sure it represents you will find her at. Www dot editor Beth dot com and HD imports located on Flint Street extension in Rock Hill South Carolina. That's your county eight. Oh three nine eight five zero nine eight five. They are there for the hunt the repair and maintenance of your Honda Hyundai Toyota Kia. Tell Them Carol CINCI. Thanks for joining US Today. Peril howls. Let's talk dementia to learn more about dementia. We recommend carols best selling book also titled. Let's talk dementia. It's available on Amazon. In paperback and kindle versions be sure to like let's talk dementia on facebook and leave us a kind word of review on itunes remember knowledge brings power power brings hope hope bring smiles and we all need more smiles. Thanks for joining us today. And we'll be right here when you come back to. Let's talk dementia..