Napoleon, Napoleon Bonaparte Bonaparte, Polian discussed on The Dirty Bits
PODCASTS shoutouts as well as coming attractions ooh exciting. So today we're talking about Napoleon Bonaparte apart who's hugely obscure. Nobody has ever heard of funny enough. I know very little about Polian. Never interested me so all I know is that he wasn't actually really that short and that he was dictator for a while in France. That's about it. Those are both true things. He wasn't that Short. He was average height. Yeah he was like five seven at the time that was like your average guy. Now that's a little bit shorter. I think five ten is average version so Napoleon Bonaparte Bonaparte. You was actually an Italian guy. Who got his start in the French military and worked his way up through the ranks during the French revolution until they ceased power as emperor of the entire country music? He was then after that he took over a good chunk of the rest of Europe until it collapsed in eighteen. Fifteen a lot of people already know he was pretty big important controversial a military guy. A lot of people already know he had a reputation for being into some weird sexual. She has no no. You didn't okay. Well you may also not know is he may have been the original Fedora wearing self-proclaimed nice guy with a massive chip on his shoulder. Those guys kind of the VIBE. I was getting getting reading a shit. What kind of a deal? I don't know a lot of disdain towards women. We'll find out more now like we were talking about. He's actually an Italian talion guy. He was born on a little island in the Mediterranean called Corsica and he was a big time nationalist who wanted an independent Corsica from France. Funny enough off. He was so into Corsica before he decided to take over the European continent he actually penned. A history of the island is a romance novel before he decided that writer. Life was not for him now. His family was minor nobility which meant their financial situation wasn't too shabby and therefore Napoleon had more opportunities than many people that were born on the island. So they were. The kings of Corsica is doing. They were doing pretty well. Fish while upon video total big fish small pond kind of a thing. Napoleon was supposedly a sweetheart until he turned two years. There's old which is when his mom brought the hammer down. He was really hyper so she exercise some firm discipline while lavishing affection and attention on his brother. Why would they do this so great? He wasn't Napoleon. Apparently okay. That's all it took. This may have been the start of his famous Napoleon complex because he responded by becoming more more aggressive and more approval seeking he even once said the future. Destiny of the child is always the work of the mother. Math at that ain't the truth on what is so. He's nine years old and he goes to school. In France eventually goes to military school on a scholarship after that now being from the island Corsica he only spoke. Doc Corsican and Italian and didn't start learning French until he was ten and despite becoming fluent language he had a really heavy accent and he couldn't spell. Oh Shit so the other kids would just bully him relentlessly and this only contributed to his dushi tendencies. So moral of the story. Don't bully the arrogant weird kid kid because next thing you know he'll start conquering her up. In the we have an emperor again he was also a great student. One Guy who did his examination said Napoleon and I quote has always always been distinguished for his application mathematics. He's fairly well acquainted with history and geography. The boy would make an excellent sailor so he goes to military Harry School and to his credit he finishes two years worth of work in one year because his finances were dramatically decreased. When his dad passed away Napoleon was in the military? A great time for ambitious kind of people. French Revolution was happening in full force opportunities for advancement those damn birds scooters. They're fucking everywhere. ooh Bit to ride one of those speakers. Conquer Europe things are kind of in the gutter. Napoleon becomes a war hero and general eventually cleans up these big ass wins against Russia Austria and the Holy Roman Empire until he becomes emperor France in his control over just about everything else also on the continent to huges profited from the chaos. Right he is. He's an opportunist really what I found really interesting about his rise to power is he didn't study his predecessors assessors he straight up just said just give me lucky generals because that means they're seeing an opportunity and they're going for it about two one on my team lucky generals which is agree point to bring up if you ever have the experience required for a job but not a degree ask for the dirty bits Polian got to set the scene and I got a paint a picture here of the sky because you know the whole point of the show we gotta Fedora Wary of her and his attitudes towards women and sex from what they gathered. Go Way back to his inferior already complexes from childhood he also may have had one foot in the closet. There's nothing definitively proven but Napoleon did say say that. Whenever he saw a good looking dude he would feel something? This is a quote I in the loins and then in another place I will leave on named talking about is is but that was what I was asked zooming. He had also been known for chastising. A classmate for being gained school while at the same time. Being on really good terms is with the gay deputy who ruled France while he was gone. So you combine now with how awkward misogynistic he seemed you might start to think. Maybe he was trying to keep his sexuality under under APPs or is this more English propaganda Austrian propaganda. This is more like directly from the source like quotes observations of those next next to him. That's why it's like security. Maybe statistics alone suggests the vast majority of people are on a sliding scale as far as gender preference goes so I'm assuming he was probably by whatever his sexuality was he was misogynistic and awkward. Never Either Germain Day style once asked. It's no Polian who he considered the best kind of woman. You responded she who has the most children because women were machines for making babies. WHOA quite the quote? Donald Trump tweet. Yeah and also pissed them off in regards to how involved women were during the French Revolution in his mind. Women didn't belong in the streets protesting getting getting shit done. They belonged in as he said the seclusion of the home while he was not a shy man he also believed that men always the final say when it came to marital rates. So I'm assuming he wasn't friends with Olympic Day Gouzer Mary Shelley probably not and as far as him. Being Awkward Goes Nineteenth Century French rider stall once wrote when a lady was announced he would request her without looking up from his work table to go and wait for him in bed later with a candle stick in his hand he would show her out of the bedroom and then promptly go back to his table to continue reading correcting and signing those unless decrees the essential part of the rendezvous had not lasted three minutes to dismiss these gallant visitors after a mere three minutes of his time to go on signing decrees and often without so much as in buckling his sword struck these ladies as an outrageous procedure mechanical right. It seems. He's very mechanical. Like he was just kind of like getting get out. You know it was route like to clean out his nose. Totally blow the ultimate bureaucrat. I feel like that is that the ultimate bureaucrat is the ultimate bureaucrat. Just like getting bogged down under the paperwork. I feel like he would have had them. Sign a release in an NDA before you sleep. What's Napoleon you gotta go down to the HR and get four five dash see one? He likes to know they did a bunch of paperwork. I did you fill out form. Cute ash one. Five nine eight Jess triplicate. Oh how did you save the pink copy for your records scares me filing system. So Napoleon lost his virginity when he was eat teen at the famed Palais royal a former royal palace. That sounds like it was turned into the Moulin Rouge Allen Nicole Kidman Crazy parties debauchery Galore and he was so fucking awkward. He went up to one of the prostitutes and was like damn. It's cold out tonight. I am so cold. Are you cold. No now that's good. So where'd you get your address. How'd you come to find yourself in Paris? How did you lose your virginity? See I was GonNa say normal questions will awkward up until that last one. That's Oughta beaten you prostitute right. You know it's like going. It's the same thing as like going up to your cashier and starting to chat them up. It's like I'm here for business. Let's go along so she's like doing this or not. Basically like she gets tired of beating around the Bush so they have sex and the next morning he writes about it in his journal. Like you mentioned. It was very mechanical. And he basically said had the sex not great gonNA keep trying like it was the science experimental way weird and supposedly. He didn't have a whole lot of luck in that arena until he met the woman who would become his wife Josephine Day Baron and they began their famous passionate and by all standards extremely unhealthy relationship shortly thereafter. The excited to hear about this. It's this is good stuff when these to get married Napoleon's twenty-six and she's a thirty two year old widow with a couple of kids that it seems like an odd pair. What was he like Emperor of fresh? Yeah he's like he's up there in the ranks this point. He's he's big big potatoes now. Josephine's husband had been executed excuted during the French Revolution. And she was savvy enough to get out of prison the hopeless some friends and in front of Napoleon because she was great at utilizing her connections. That's how how she made her way throughout life was just who she knew and making friends and getting her. She was very calculated very meticulous with everything. Good pair go calculating she was. I don't know that she was so mechanical but they they are kind of pot is we'll see over so biographer Andrea Steward. wrote in the rose of Martinique sneak a life of Napoleon's Josephine that she changed her appearance incessantly. Giving her lover's the illusion of infinite variety. She also understood the importance of the settings of her romantic encounters. She paid meticulous attention to the design of her bedrooms evident. The Rue sheltering and in later palaces multiplied supplied the images of their love and created the illusion of an orgy sexy so the couple finally meet and she introduces herself. Like hi I'm marie-josephe Rose Tauscher Deloitte. Rg but I just go by rose. It's such a pleasure to finally meet. You have heard so much about you and Polian goes. Your name is rose. Does I hate it. I'm calling you Josephine. From that moment on she went by Josephine. She's like okay. Feed it is just just a few days after their wedding. Quick skips parts of their. So they get married you get married and just a few days. After her wedding Napoleon Ryan leaves on a campaign. Now are awkward little scam. Napoleon had finally had his sexual awakening the much more experienced unlikely. Excellent Lover Lover Josephine. She probably was. She had a past as being a mistress. Yeah she knew she was doing bed. She's really good at it. Symposiums finally enjoying being sex. Good for him. I'm happy.