Founder, ANC, Mark discussed on The Storytellers Network

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Life plan. You know, in general terms, I didn't I didn't say I want to be the founder of a global organization with eight thousand look I mean, that's what I said what I said, basically, I'll see if I can remember when I said, basically was in my twenties. Those were my learning years. I wanted to be a sponge I wanted to work crazy long hours and immerse myself into something and really learn in my thirties. I wanted to start to really improve my game. I wanted to pick a lane pick a lane pick a business and just charged forward in my thirties in my forties. I wanted that to be my my my my real growth years that I took that lane and just scale the business my fifties. I wanted to be at the top of my game. I mean, I wrote this all done it's in it's in my blog when I did decade by decade by decade, and my sixties and beyond and I wrote this noun forty years ago. I wanted to be the elder statesman of whatever it is. I did. So whatever I did the words I actually use was I wanna I want to be the elder statesmen. I want to be the person that people come to on whatever field. It is you do. And I didn't quite know in my twenties. What I was going to be when I grow up. Yeah. But I wanted to be the elder statesman and show from that sense. I had a pretty clear vision of where I wanted to go my life wasn't necessarily quite this would be an eye. But so you see what I'm saying? Yes. And no, absolutely. Is it too late for somebody in their forties to have that kind of vision? Absolutely. Not too late. It's never too late. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I was lucky I didn't in twenty. But it's absolutely never too late to to create a vision as to where you want to be for the rest of your life. And and today more than ever. You know, we live so much longer. You know, you're in your forties, man. You got fifty years ago. Right. Yeah. Don't wait until you're in your sixties to create a vision. Now's the time to a great Chinese same on the same. Wins the best time to plant an oak tree. The answer is twenty years ago. And then it goes on to say wins the second best time today. So if you didn't plan to twenty years ago today's the next best time that's fair. Absolutely. Sounds kind of like what you crafted your story back in your twenties. And then executed so you in back, then story probably is pretty important. I guess absolutely story stories so important and on so many levels. It's you know, it's nothing new. We're talking about it a lot more in the last few decades. But you know, I think culturally we as. Humankind have often used storytelling as a way of carrying on our culture. And if before there was writing there were stories, and so this is certainly nothing new, but it's kind of we're coming full, circle and really focusing more and more on on the storytelling again, which I think is power. So obviously you liked that. What do you think is one of the challenges to to that and to storytelling professionally? I think people. I don't think they know how to tell a story well on I think they sometimes make the story too much about them. I think they retell a story and the truth is if you really want to be a great storyteller don't retell a story. Relive a story. When I tell a story. I do my best to relive it. Not retell it. I visualize where I was I visualized who I was with. I try to set a scene for who is doing what Coa sitting where who said what are you could go into too much detail with that? There's a balance there got to relive a story. Don't retell the story. And I think people they don't get the story really isn't just about them. It's about a message. You gotta you gotta take them on a journey, and that journey has to compel them to take some kind of action that transformed some in some way, I think people don't practice their stories. You gotta practice practice. Practice your storytelling. You know, I never I never just do a story. Once I work on it. And you may say, well, how do you work on a story stories a story that you gotta you gotta get timing done, especially if like humor, you gotta know wyndha- pause, you make create the same scene, but the way to describe it could vary and the way describe it helps create a better seen and the timing is critical in story telling absolutely critical and the word you use are critical. And so the only way to hone all of that is to practice that. And and I don't think my my poor wife has heard every variation of every story that I have because I run a lot of these stories by her just to get her feedback. So you've gotta find somebody that you can run your stories by and practice, and and home them. And then when you stand on stage, and you do a story make a note what works, and what doesn't work because sometimes I'll be telling a story for whatever. Add a sentence and boom get a laugh or people go. Wow. And I will literally pull out my pen and Mark that page with with a word or two that I said to remind me I need to incorporate that into my story, she constantly honing your story. Yeah. And so- athletes watch film afterwards. Do you go back and watch you presentations to see that as well. No, no. I hate doing that. Yeah. I do I used to join a whole lot. I I don't do it as much anymore because I have found other ways to practice, but I recommend it. I absolutely recommend it, and it's painful. Painful, it's painful, even now and I'm pretty good storyteller. I sit back, and I want to say what what you know. Why why did I leave out that sentence that I always put right there? And I left it out or whatever. So. Yeah. I think you're right athletes. Do that you need to do that at some point. Maybe you get to the point where you don't do it as much, but ANC, you're right. You should watch always always improving always learning. That's a huge thing. So I was gonna ask you who gets the story. So your wife. It's funny. What if someone would be my mother? Okay. I would stand him from my mom and do all these stories, especially is in high school when I was in college. I would do them for her. And when I got married my wife took over that that mantle and she she she hears virtually every store I have before. All right. If I hate what do you think if I put this story into this talk, and she gives me incredible feedback that has helped making better. Storyteller. That's awesome. It's great Etta partner. Like that. We've been married thirty years. I met I met my wife NBN. I it was the best referral ever got. That's awesome. And there's a thirty years. That's credible. Congratulations thirty years this year. Yeah. What's what's the secret to that? Just finding one who can put up your stories, you know, everybody's different. And every relationship is different. And no relationship is easy. I think one of the things that we say because as you're married longer people, actually, what's the secret. I think one of the secrets for us is giving each other. Grace. We we have we've come to the place in our marriage. And we did this a long time ago where we both recognize that we love each other and ended if one of us does something stupid, usually it's make probably one of us. Does something stupid. The the other person recognizes that it was just something stupid. They did it wasn't wasn't done out of malice. It wasn't. Because there wasn't love. And and so we just have to give each other grace. And I think that's really important. I think the other thing is love and respect. And we read a book longtime ago on love and respect. And basically the theme of the book was that. And this is a gross generalization and not everybody fits this. But based on this book, they found that women when asked what is the most important thing to you from your? Spouse. Love or respect women, generally said love and men generally said respect. And that was a real eye opener for us because my wife was blown away that I sit when she asked me a question. She didn't tell me the answer. And I said respect, I assume you love me, it's respected. I would hope to get. She was blown away by that. So understanding each other and me going out on my way to speak to her in a loving way. And her going out of her way to speak for me. It's me respectfully that has nothing to do is storing. But that's the answer your question. That's that's part of. I love what I do because it's conversations, you know. And so just I mean, just get to know somebody and what they do. And how they tell a story I think is really cool part. So. Thanks for sharing that I have an appreciated where do where do you go to find inspiration? When you're getting ready to craft. Maybe a new presentation or read any story or shared his life lessons where does that inspiration? Come from for you as a storyteller. So I have found that my best stories come from my most embarrassing moments. And so what I often do. I think about some bonehead thing. I did some something that at the moment was horrifying to me. You know, I can't believe I did that it was really stupid. But people love it because it's. First of all of all if you have some level of success and you use self deprecating humor. People feel connected to you feel like okay, he's not on this. Pedestal. He's not in this ivory tower. He does bonehead things to now you gotta you gotta you gotta tie it in. You gotta make it work with the message you're trying to get across. But if you can find a story that you can cooperate in it hasn't dealt self deprecating humor. So I think about I think about things I've done I think about experiences in my life. You know, again, it depends on what message I'm trying to get across from trying if I'm talking about mentorship. I tell a story about mentorship. If I if I'm talking about now working I will often talk about stupid things, I did not working. So that people could see what not to do. Don't do this. I did it once don't do it does that make sense. Absolutely. And I have heard it said that relationship so the ultimate currency. And again, it sounds almost a little bit. Like, I dunno swampy or something. I don't know if the word is. But, but but what it means to me is that we are powerful enriched through our networks through our our circles that kind of thing. So that's the case for storytellers. What is one of the keys from from the the the grandfather the godfather networking the guru of networking? What's one of the keys to building a powerful network as a storyteller? Well, I think before you get to telling stories you have to understand the foundation of what I teach in networking, and that is what I call the VP process visibility credibility profitability. I you have to be visible in the community. People have to know who you are what you do. Then you move to credibility where people know who you are. They know what to do. Or you're good at it. And then you can move to profitability where people know who you are what you do know, you're good at it. And they're willing to refer you business. So you gotta understand that networking is more about farming than it is about hunting. It's all about creating relationships and one of the best way to create relationships is to help someone. So if you can find a way to help someone you start to build that relationship, and as you build that relationship, you you talked to them the language of referrals is done through storytelling, you tell stories about what makes it good referral for. You. You ask for stories as for what makes a good referral from. Someone else. Tell me your dream referral. That's a story. I'll tell you in being we train. Our directors are franchises. We call. We call three plus one for success three plus one. This is what it takes to be successful at building region of being I. Open chapters fill chapters with members retain members, and the plus one is tell stories. And plus one applies to all three of those. So for members we say. In members. Retain members engage in your chapter being gauged. So it's quality quantity engagement. Those are the three things for members plus one and you do all of that through stories bringing quality members by talking to them about stories about your success. You bring in a number of members by talking about your success, you engage people by talking about how

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