President Trump, Vice President, New York City discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Just stop and there's also oddly been bragging about not showering during. That's interesting like Oh yeah you taking a shower taking the show? He's like just out like honestly neither one of us has wrote a guard. Why don't you? Why don't you just take a regular shower and I have an idea for what we can do instead of cards. Are you into an only get? It sounds fun. He goes look me in the face. Do not go in there and now may card. We are agreeing. I am being serious. We are not making cards and as you say I didn't because he had this idea that we make a car together and we talk about our year like you know and then We forgot to do that because we were doing stuff. Mind Your Business Okay. I'll see you had sex my business. Okay good for you each other. Nice things yeah. This is so fucking stressful. Right this torture. It'd be torture and around holidays. That would be the war I would I would do what could I guess? Are the soup kitchen. Needs help? Like on canvas holidays. Well maybe that's why he's my partner Boyfriend La. I guess I saw a One of those automatic ads on on twitter in his from corona the beer. The joke and it says this year has checked. Cinco at home. So you'll celebrate. Cinco the mile in Your House. Remember when is drink responsibly? Now by yourself. Who gives a fuck yet truly at the literally the one definition of alcoholism we all know? It's like drag campaign. Do your best to get by Budweiser. Whatever it takes the wine council you honey. We don't give a fuck. I don't even know how we're still in business drinker wherever parking lot your house loan room. I don't care but you know how Like now because gluten. Free and veganism is is like popular so things that have never had gluten or dairy or in the family of it will say gluten free on the box so corona has to save virus. Free on every beer ad right. Well I have seen. Maybe you've seen pictures like a beard distributing places where they sell it by the giant case and krone is always the only one left there and I get it. But why bother? Yeah I'm like I know it's different minimum. It's going to remind you every single SIP. Yeah Yeah you're drinking specifically not to remember what's happening the idea that you'd be like you'd be looking you'd have to remove all the labels right every scipio but like still not the disease like there's still something always there whether you're Vian funnier. Just trying to drink it. I think they should. They should change their name to coronel. Slow throw little mail verbiage or whatever I wa is a state in America that never closed down now leads growing Cova nineteen cases in the US. You took it from New York. Good bye oh sorry. That's not the right response. I'm sorry Kinda right now. That's not good. Did you see that. The vice president pence went to a mayoclinic went to a hospital and he was the only one not wearing a mess. Why why would you why I mean he said what? There's a reason for everything right so you have to assume. The reason is to help people say yes. Let's reopen America. You can't tell us to reopen but have a have a mask gone. Oh yeah he's totally a war hero now fascinated vice president of the United States on tested for the corona virus on a regular basis daily and so what untested on regular basis? And everyone? Who was around me is tested for the corona virus? While the rest of. I can't do that but let's go back to work shall we? And since I don't have the krona virus I thought it'd be a good opportunity for me to be here to be. What's I thought it'd be a good opportunity to get it right. I don't have a good chance for me to get it to go to a hospital where people have it. It's a good opportunity for me to be here to be able to speak to these researchers who all think they should wear masks. These incredible healthcare personnel in. Look them in the eye and say thank you he added. I don't know if this is another important person that doesn't know how to put a mask on but the don't get your is still be able to take it in the understand. How are you taking up their break so you could look them in the eye? They haven't slept in days. Go home and they knows it's a thing because he he does the stupid elbow. Bump to one of the doctors never mind. You have to get close to do that but also what are you thanking them for for nothing going on and everything's normal cuts since when do vice president's visit hospitals just to thank doctors. Should you have done that when you went to the doctor? So you're taking a special trip to go to places where people are dying frequently to make them feel good by looking in their eyes. Are you going to call them a partner or boyfriend bitch? Thank he's thanking them for meaning. Well liked it says delusional but I. It's the whole world's clapping at seven o'clock. I can show up at two PM. Them Conference call. Give you then. You're by the way they have the time. Their cats in the other room definitely conference call them. You do pots and pans at seven o'clock. No because I don't face the street. I think the first time I was like what the hell but now it feels like. I'm patronizing if I'm getting my. Oh Do I do. Sometimes my cat wakes up and I think she thinks the collapse are for her and a migrate. Would've she will fuck it. That's a good environment home. You know whatever it takes. I masturbated six fifty eight and then seven o'clock the whole world's cheering for Macau tanks. Guys pence was the only individual spotted without a mass during his visit to the Mayo Clinic where he participated in a tour. Here's another room. Thank you and held a roundtable roundtable's with physicians nurses say I'm a jokester with a cosmonaut. This is what they gotta do. I got to be part of the roundtable. It's GonNa Piss everyone off. Everyone else. Seen on camera with pence has masks on the Mayo Clinic issued guidelines on April thirteenth requiring all patients and visitors to wear face covering or mask and accordance with updated recommendations from the CDC in fact the male clinic put out a statement saying we told him ahead of time to wear masks then took the tweets down like he'd he they were obviously asked to take the tweet down for what to keep funding going. Maybe who knows? Are there people? I'm trying to imagine the people who saw this news. And we're like wow. Our Vice. President is so brave and strong. Like what is is that what people are seeing where where like this. The true arrogant the most arrogant version of being dumb and the other people. Look how brave. He's big yes. There are people on the streets praising trump for every move that he's making. Where are they getting their information from? It's just you know he's he's telling people what to believe in what not to believe in everyday changes and people somehow follow along in our like. Yeah that's the right answer right now. I mean we've we've read it on the show. The the the stuff that he was saying that the dates that he was saying it's a hoax. It's not real. We have it under control. What do we have under control? Nothing because nothing's happening. It's just it's like you know from the terrible terrible books that we've read and now it's real so we'll be we'll be okay by eastern said I would be. I would be okay by Easter and I'm like wait a minute motherfucker. I didn't miss a meeting. You just said yesterday. No this is serious business. Oh You motherfucker. And the and the the best part is we are in such a technological universe literally. Everything's being recorded. He's writing down on the shooter and sending it out to us and then going literally the next day going J. K. Ya Right A hi. I'M THE PRESIDENT THIS IS I. I'm at hello assisting on just wanted to say from yesterday's briefing a JK right digest bleach. What you told me too. Yeah he's doing air quotes under the table. Gosh much rink. Bleach scientists that comedian. I decided to be President Mayor. Bill de Blasio here. In New York City oversaw the dispersal of large tightly packed Hassidic Jewish funeral and lash out on social media my message to the Jewish community in all communities. Is this simple? The for warnings has passed. Something absolutely unacceptable happened in Williamsburg tonight a large funeral gathering in the middle of this pandemic. What I saw will not be tolerated as long as we're finding the KRONA VIRUS. And then they said. Do you remember how many of us there are? You need our votes and he said let me look more into it. Everybody has their culture. The there are so many has acidic Jewish vote in New York. City is so important that they didn't stop these rabbis yet from sucking off little boys that they call a circumcision. We can't stop that because that'll affect votes on. If you become the mayor governor not there suck it off little boy. They don't know where Catholics. Get the the little blood dropper from. They don't know how to do that. The rabbis gotTA use his tongue and stuff and then you tell them on top of it and the pun about tip but the punt. That's how I do my jokes. There's a point in their quite obviously and it's not hard to figure out. Then you feel like you put the show together with me. That's how we're interactive go tip tip figured out okay. You did that on your own. And then you're gonNA call this show. Yeah then he takes away okay. I guess do it if you want. I do need to do need the election. Results had yeah. I mean like as a member of the Jewish community that is not the that part of the Jewish community who I think as a member of the Jewish community. We'd look at an ulcer like you guys got to stop. I was like don't don't lump us with that. It's not like I'm going. To need specific funeral literally yesterday is walking towards Williamsburg on my daily walk and I saw so many Hasidic people playing like little kids and they're like without any maximum like I'm not going there no I. I also was raised Jewish atheist now but I you know of course associated with Judaism in fair enough but I've thought about it recently. Acidic JEWS ARE NOT JEWS. They are a cult that uses the Jewish Bible. And I am as much as that. Sounds like a joke. I'm totally serious. I don't know why we'RE COOL WITH PEOPLE MARRYING UNDERAGE Women and women people marrying underage girls with the documentaries that we saw about how they're breaking their bodies with a new baby every day by the time they're thirty. They most likely have ten children that they can't handle but yeah they're Jewish. No thank you right. I agree with the Jew but yeah it's feel like where it's like. They stay as as the rest of the Jewish world becomes more secular. This people are like becoming more extremely impossible to understand while also like all the men are like like like often like famous us a lot of sex workers and stuff like that like the stereotype of water acidic men out like they're gonNA come get me but yeah it sucks. I think they give us a bad name. I don't like to trend on twitter because they did something knowing. That said de Blasios a bonehead. He has big bone in his head. He can't do anything correct. I E Yeah I say say that stuff on social media and learn the difference between Hasidic Jews in their cult mob mentality fucked up lives and then maybe understand that that's not part of Judaism in Judaism is also its own cult. But there's a difference well if this This virus it gets spread by. They used the word droplets. Sec juice has such dr covered in dark black. That's the you know it's nice out now. The sons making them sweat. Every part of them is covered with ten layers throughout their nothing but human droplets. They're just look at that sweat. It's a pass droplets. A can't be good. Yeah any environment where they're like. No where this every day and he goes with this hat run dollar hat. Yeah right yeah and the hat the bigger the hat the more important yard I saw had Jesse the other day. It's just round hat and it just has hanging on the side credit cards..

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