Uncle Dan, Europe, Uncle Mark discussed on The How-To Heretic


Ju I have a feeling. Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding. Ding baby. That is right. What's funny is I when I'm right when I was writing this. I had zero question in my mind that that you guys would know what I was getting at for every time. It's the Jews. The problem is the bell would wear out right. Exactly like an airshow. Far that we could use ice still. Haven't listened to the hours of show far music you said. I got some time I can do it now. okay that's right. If God is sending a plague ain't but one group of senators that could possibly be at fault and it's those evil. Hebrews now do hitting was not new it had been and would continue to be one of the favourite Christian Pastimes of Europe. But this kick that shit into high gear. One big moment was when Whatever the thirteen forty s version of Breitbart started spreading the story that the plague was started by Jews poisoning people's wells in Switzerland. This was all part of the plans laid out in the protocols of the really really elder- Elders of Zion for the Jews to kill all the Christians and dominate the world. I made that document. Of course the the well. The well poisoning was declared true by Swiss authorities. Because as they said they had tortured a bunch of Jews who then admitted to the plot because we all know become prisoners at Gitmo when people are being tortured. They only told the truth. This led to mass violence against Jews. All over Europe insane pogroms were launched that included burning their houses killing them with axes and clubs sending them down rivers in wine barrels for some reason and in what is possibly probably the worst incident of them all in Strasbourg. They rounded up. Nine hundred people locked them up together and burned them alive. Oh Jeez that's nine hundred people at the same time. Yup Wow so yeah now. That's Swiss organization right there Man Right. Wow now to his credit. The pope at the time put Pope Clement. The sixth was actually opposed to the treatment of Jews. Which novel good. You know you guys ready for another. Papal Bowl shooting in September. Thirteen forty eight. The pope released kwame vous perf- idiom which basically said. Hey guys am am I? The only one who's noticed that Jews are also dying of the plague. It was basically his way of telling everybody to knock it off and leave the Jews alone. Unfortunately the Jews were in fact centers. You See Christians were forbidden to lend money for advantage. Charging interest or usery is a biblically. Biblically band sin. Modern Christians have figured out how to ignore this fact but back in the Middle Ages it was still important however Christians still wanted to do business and loans were a super useful way to get business done. So the Christian setup assistant the Christians setup this system where the Jews were the lenders of European Society. Now this meant the Jewish people could become quite rich which piss off a lot of poor Christians and it meant that a lot of rich Christians owed Jews money even though it was the Jewish community that was keeping the economy the economies of Europe Lube up and operating. They were also widely resented so when an opportunity arose for Christians feel righteous while they killed the guy that they owed a lot of money. Too right yeah. They jumped on that. Yeah Hashtag canceled Christian debt right right right exactly. Meanwhile the Church which normally was the organization everybody turned to for comfort in aid. Had nothing to offer against this plague while people died by the millions and fear gripped the land. The church doled out little more than platitudes and blame. That's weird race of. It's so strange your thought they had so much more to offer a different time for them to take the the priests were actually dying in higher numbers than the Laity likely because of increased contact with infected people The sex right well. There's that too. So they started shirking their duties. They stopped performing. Last rites shut people out of the churches they were in fact useless and the people started to notice Confidence in the church was understood. Standardly dwindled. I can't draw any direct lines on this but it seems very possible that the church's ineptitude in the mid thirteenth hundreds changed the game enough that one hundred fifty years later when an upstart priest nailed a bunch of complaints to a church door. He wasn't put to death as a heretic. But rather led the most important schism in Christian history. Interesting love me a schism. Who Doesn't love a good schism? I didn't know that I didn't know that about the priests class being seen as fucking useless during the play I mean. Obviously they were anyway but I mean doing the things that they normally do to pretend it's all magic right they did. They weren't protecting anybody. People were still getting it right. Imagine the vectors in a medieval church. Right the whole holy. Water the wine that you know what I mean like. Yeah just how much damage that could could be in a church. So yeah and closing down. The churches sounds a little familiar yet. Thank yeah look the fact. Is that after a few years of pogroms and plague the population of Europe had been decimated. Actually much worse than decimated for those etymological. Pedants out there. Somewhere between thirty and forty percent of Europe died two hundred depending on whose estimate you go with also a bunch of Asia and the Middle East. But whatever I can't I don't have time to do the Muslim response to the play though it was fascinating so here we are now in the midst of another worldwide plague but now we know a lot more about the causes and spread of disease which is great because it means that we have so many tools that the people of the Middle Ages didn't have but to whom do we look for help well as of the on the on the very day. We are recording. This Pope Francis just called for world prayer to combat the disease. Great things. What about kissing a cat on the ASS collusion? Let's get him on Mark Dobie stupid. That's an old bowl. That's an old papal bowl. The New Orleans. Did you also see that? He said you know. If you're confessing just do it directly to God. It's like do cut out the entire fucking middleman. Which is you? Yeah exactly exactly yeah. It is interesting that times of crisis like this are when the churches proved to themselves how worthless they are Yeah so me so now. The churches are closed. And the only folks who are helping in any real way are the scientists and that my dear uncles is how it should be see. That is exactly how it should be. Yeah absolutely it kind of converts. The old there are no atheists in foxholes which is a bullshit thing Ryan. You know there are. There are no religious well. There are plenty of religious religious extremists in time of crisis but sane religious people suddenly. It's like Hey let's see what Dr Fao she has to say. Yeah exactly they're a numbers eight. Yeah there's no religious people in hospitals right now you know. I mean the People. We'RE TURNING TO TO SAVE US. Are the nonreligious scientifically minded members of our society. We should have been listening to the whole time. Maybe we'll start listening more but my freedom so they are there you have it. Small bits of progress has been made if at least societally. If not in how our brains think about things well thank you for taking us to Sunnier. Time Dan yes. I think like you said Uncle Dan. The we have many tools that the people in the Middle Ages did not have but we have Jarvis orange tool that they didn't have to contend nice. One was walk all right. Well that's wonderful. I think. Let's all wash our hands and move on. Hey uncle mark. Hey there Dan. I got a series of jokes for you. You Ready. I'm so ready knock. Who's there either either who either bunny not not knocking. Who's there some similar? Samoa either Bunnies Magnox. I can't with this new funding knock. Who's there cargo? Goku cargo be run all over the ether. Bunny's the smell toast. That was a trip back to elementary school for Dan. I I had to go to a better time. This has been the social isolation has been hard. Yeah and I needed to venture back into time wooden when things were easier and lighter. I think that's our aristocrats. Basically right there to heretic. Version of the go to class Yeah Doug Save US dude. Tell us tell us something. That's that's actually funny. Well dear uncles in this time of doom and gloom I thought it would try and take our minds off our impending on ramp to fury road and talked about the more harmless is if perhaps most ridiculous seasonal mascots as uncle. Dan just mentioned the Easter Bunny of all the tropes and traditions of modern Christianity. This is perhaps the best and most poorly thought out. Hold on as you'll see you're you are calling quite a shot mister as well as we'll see. There's there's no real connective tissue between any of the elements of the Easter Bunny. And there's no connective tissue between the Easter Bunny and Christianity But we'll get there but as far as I could tell. No one has ever died because of Easter Bunny. I'm sure somebody somewhere has but I couldn't find him so however listeners. Easter bunny related desperate desperate for that information. It would be a mistake to completely right off rabbits harmless. After all as tim the enchanted said about the rabbit outside the Cave of of clear bandic. That's no ordinary Robert. That's the most foul cool and temperate road. And you'll even set eyes on Luca Roberts called vicious streak a mile wide. He's a killer jude short. You can leave about in abortions and seen and I do a terrible British accent so they Scottish so true. That's true Scottish accent. Exactly even worse. This'll this whole thing leads of course to the use of one of our favorite religious technologies the holy hand grenade of Antioch Instructions from the Book of Armaments. But we'll leave that for another time five so it goes without saying that the Easter Bunny is not biblical. But I said it anyway. I feel like we've read enough shit in the Bible that some. That wouldn't surprise me if someone were trying to support the Easter Bunny. Bill there is not a rabbit in Leviticus. I quit uncle mark. I got your back good. Rabbits appear only two places in the Bible Leviticus and Deuteronomy perfect the classics and in both cases they are. They are prohibited from being eaten because they chew their cut. They don't right so lucas..

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