Victoria, Chanel, Mark Jacobs discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson
Didn't even realize I had in the moment I was just like loving and having so much fun and I was like I want to do more I to more I want to keep going in other than the Victoria's secret show. What was the moment for you or you're like I can't believe I'm. Doing this. So with the Victoria secret show being said coming into it, that's what I. Thought, that I wanted and I didn't I I didn't do a lot of my research I knew what models that I loved and I knew a bit about fashion but I wasn't like super into it like that because I was kinda focused on my horses. So once I got into it and I was like you know what? I want to do this for real and to do this big I went to my agency I got signed and. They basically were like you're not going to do the Victoria's secret fashion show right now like we're going to show you this whole other world of like high fashion and just this these these amazing shows and my first season I walked Chanel. So I mean I did a bunch of other shows but that was like really big for me. I never even imagined that was where I would be I literally was like. I don't care like I wanNA. Do Whatever's cool like just send me send me wherever I gotta go like I'll go do it and I'll put my hard work and do it so getting Chanel I was like what the Hell I was like holy moly like this is really happening. So I walk Mark Jacobs, my first season and those moments were like really cool for me I don't think people really want. Now they do because they can seem more of the energy that's happening in the shows and. When. You're backstage and it's just like constantly moving in girls are constantly going in the travel is insane. I remember being about nineteen years old and I had flown all I was flying from Ireland London to New York to La and back and forth, and I had to audition for almost famous. It was like one of those moments in my life for. Stop and I, remember being on a plane. And I was taxing and I just like Burson here's because I didn't know my head from need at this point I now can look back and go oh, my God i. just finished High School I mean. That's a L- A lot when you're that young and you're kind of you think you're ready for it but then you're living out of a suitcase and I remember calling my mom. was like mom. I don't I'm like losing my mind I. Don't I don't know where I am anymore and she talked me Kinda down and made me realize that that's not that's not that normal for a nineteen year old girl to be traveling like that like right out of the House and. Anyway just wondering if you ever had moments like that were usable I had a lot of. Crazy I've always had like. Some anxiety and I didn't even really know what it was when I was really young but I, think all of this kind of really ignited in me. So I really had. Okay. So that's sorry interrupt but I I was GonNa WanNa touch on that because I was reading about debilitating anxiety. Yeah. because. I think it's important especially for a lot of people you know you have however hundreds of millions of people who have. These are the things that can really you know touch people and people can relate to I, went through it in my twenties and I just wanted to sort of ask about that and what that was for you and how it manifested. Yeah. I think like I said I've always had it and didn't know what it was. 'cause no one really talked about it when I was really young and I remember going to my mom when I was super little and be like mom I, can't breathe like I'm really short of breath I feel like I can't get a deep breath and she was like I don't know. So I went to a doctor my lungs check melons are fine whatever. One ever told me what it was neat. Not even my mom really knew what was going on she couldn't be like, okay. You're having a panic attack or you're having anxiety or whatever. So it was slight growing up and then like I said going into my job and just traveling nonstop I, mean I would be on. Eight to eleven to twelve hour flights almost every single day for seven years like I was not there was no stopping I was losing my mind even like missing the smallest holiday like fourth of July I would like lose my mind I'd be hysterical in my bedroom like but I felt I almost felt like I was like. I knew I wanted to be there because I, knew that the outcome is what I wanted. I wanted to do that job and I want. But in reality I was like, what am I doing this for I'm nineteen years old in eighteen years old I should be having fun with my friends like, why am I? What am I doing I'm whatever so I would just have these breakdowns in Miami. Really really bad and I think that everyone uses the the wordings -iety really lightly these days because it is a real thing and I would get I would go into the deepest panic attacks where I would I'd have people break rush me to the hospital. I'd be like I'm GonNa die like things are not going right I got my heart checked I got my brain chip they got my lungs. Checked to make sure that I was okay I would. Had these really bad. Attacks where I would. Someone might Chinese Medicine Doctor Guy told me that they of call it cavewoman syndrome basically where. You go to bed and you think every you feel fine. You're like I'm going to bet I'm good whatever I don't feel anxious and you basically wake up in the middle of the night with like complete like just anxiety in the middle of your sleep.