Golf, Depression, Chris Kirk discussed on No Laying Up

No Laying Up
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Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Use. Use, Promo Code Twenty. Let's get back to Chris Kirk. Yeah you touched on a lot there as far as you know, the things that I think would lead up to what you announced on May. Seventh Twenty Nineteen, which is when you announce that you're taking a leave of absence from the PGA tour deal with depression and alcoholism and I kinda WanNa get into the timeline of things here and I think I've read all there is to read, and I know that there's a lot to. Address in the segment, but you seem very open and honest about everything which I really do think that so much good can come from that, and just from the interviews of of watch from you, too. It seems like you get a lot of energy from that but I want to start at that point when you announced that you are. Going to be stepping away from Golf, you've taken the proper steps that seems to address things since then, but what was that like at that moment to announce that to the golf world? What was. Did you have any fear about taking that step? At the time that you know a lot had led up to that, and so that that was what felt like a a real last resort for me. an act of desperation to try to. To somehow salvage my life. Really you know I'd. I'd I tried to stop drinking November two thousand eighteen. That was when I. Kind of talked to some close friends family, my support group on on the tour and told them that you know this is something that I'm struggling with and I'm I'm GonNa. Stop Out! Appreciate any you know support. It didn't well kind of battled it for six months or so multiple relapses and was just miserable. You Know My. That I, I definitely struggle more with with anxiety than than depression can can lead to that, but I think my my anxiety kind of in building for for a few years and I started drinking more and more as a as a way to combat that. And then once I took the the alcohol, which was Kinda my medicine away. My anxieties got worse and worse and so I, just wasn't doing well. I was trying to to control and uncontrollable situation, and was thinking on the lines of. I can do this. I can do this and then after after. That there were two methods including the last time I drank. April April Twenty Eighth Side Account April twenty ninth is my sobriety date. Just a few. Real wakeup calls to like okay now. Nali are you not completely in control of this? You have zero control over this. And so stopping playing golf I kind of had to get to the point where I needed to get away from this because if I don't do something about this now if I don't figure this out then. I'M GONNA. Lose everything anyway. So, what is the matter you know? I didn't. I didn't know what was going to be. The result is as far as from tour status standpoint and I didn't care you. Know I I called. I called tour and said Hey. You know this is this is what I'm doing. I understand this is probably not gonna be covered under any type of of medical extension, and that's fine, you know if I decide to play golf again, then I'll I'll address at then, but for right now I'm going to just get away from it for an unknown period of time. And they were, they were very supportive. right away and they didn't tell me anything right away, but. Andy Passer. Roster Lan Jay Monahan. They were extremely supportive of me and We're really happy for me that I was you know doing the right thing and taking some some steps to try to get back To a better place in my life and J. J. was great. He called me to check on. Every now and then throughout the whole process Andy Pazder as well. I definitely felt a lot of a lot of love and support from those guys. I was able to. To find the right people here in Athens people that are that are in a similar situation to me and. And, really kind of get some answers as far as what was happening to me, and and why was happening and find the the right path for me to go down? You touch on a couple of things here and I I guess I'm Ali. This up to you as to where you. You think this story starts. Hearing you kind of explain what you mean by anxieties are what your anxieties were, and how that contributed to alcohol. Along those same lines I just want to kind kinda understand what your relationship was like with alcohol. Maybe maybe around the time that you know you really start to feel this this uptick in anxiety, and how those two work together and again that's up to you kind of as to where that. Where starts which which one leads to what well? I mean first of all I had always been someone who really liked to drink. and you like to drink socially in and was offer a party whenever. But I think that it's it changed when when my anxiety Kinda got worse, so though the way I look at it is I would Started getting. Bad I would take a take a very rational thought something that I would be. Worried about you know worried about the that I played bad one day or or worried about whatever it doesn't matter something you know. We all worry about stuff. It's very very natural. So I would take that thought, and then I would that would change to something else, and then that would change something else in that would change. Something else would be sort of A. Snowball effect in and within a matter of few hours I would get to the point where I was like I. I've got to sell my house. I I need to quit and find another job I've got A. Do you know I? I'm not going to be able to afford to repair electric bill next month, and all these all these things that when you know when I look at it now and if you, it looked at it from the outside. Then you would say that makes no sense like it's completely irrational, but. At the time it was, it was very very real just as real as the I thought was. So as that as that kind of continue to happen I. Just was basically searching for a way to shut my brain off and stop all that. And, so that was that was what I did you know and I and I remember it very well just liked to be able to. Drink to the point where I could just sit there and. Stare at the wall if I wanted to and not think about anything..

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