Partner, Hearst, Soccer discussed on Women Amplified
Build a world changing life, and that is the perfect segue for our next question, so let's say that our listener has absolutely agreed with what you've said so far, and they are ready to be smart about their story. RIGHT TO BE STORY SMART. What is the first couple of things they need to do to get started the first thing. Thing is find out what stories you have believe I always say you gotta understand where you are and where you come from before you can figure out where you're going, and so take the time to look at the pieces of your life that you're trying to change so in this in this case your career and really ask yourself okay. What are the things that I believe to be true about myself about my value about work about my talent like? Like literally take a notebook and starts writing new things down. What do I believe? My talents and skills are what do I believe I am good at doing? What do I believe about money and my role as a provider. Ask Yourself these questions that you can begin to assess okay. What shape where I am because only when you do that, you then decide okay. Which of these things need to change? Are Those true? They align with what I actually. Actually believed to be true now at this stage in my life, and what do I wanna change around that, so hearst is getting on a notebook, and just doing some good old south interrogation and figuring out what stories you have believed up until this point, then ask yourself the question once you've got that list. Do these serve me have? They served me how they made me feel? Does believing that excessive tied my income? How that worked out for me? Otherwise I feel you gotta make an assessment glitter bad. Has It worked for you once? You've done that the fun part is the what could a new life look like for me and this is where I find in conversation. Most people get stuck if they okay. I'm clear that I believe these things and they came from cool. They came from my parents, and they came from media and clear on all of that, but I'm not clear on what to do after that point. That's why I say you can have some fun. You can start reading start exploring looking at different career paths. Even just said you can't fully know until you do it yourself. You can do some research, right? You don't have to jump out there blinds. You can start looking around at the women that you admire the careers that you might not have even known existed and getting as much information collecting as much data as you can just see based on who you know you are. What were appeals to you? And then you can go, and the book goes on and on talk about the practical ways of practicing these new stories. We talked about change and transition. That doesn't mean you immediately. Go Out and get a job, or you immediately do what I did, which was pick up and move across country like that very dramatic in basketball. When you think about what pivoting actually is their small movement. You don't even move your back foot. One of your feet stay planted exactly exactly, and that's what I heard. You can make these shifts in direction without having to immediately transform your entire life, and so I say that changes the practice and these are muscles that you have to exercise so I would encourage folks that exercise the muscle of using a new skill that you know you have put. A job has never taken advantage on before or exercise the muscle of leadership. If that's something that you're looking for more of your career. Career but you haven't had the opportunity to put that into practice in your current work environment so I think practice some of these changes these narrative changes before you have to go out and again we don't know when this pandemic will end, or what the next six months to year hold for the country, but you can start practicing some of these shifts now in your daily life. You're quite honest in your book about mistakes that you made that. You wish you had done differently i. I wonder since then since you've been advising others on transitions in their careers water at some of the common stumbling blocks. I think one of them was the one. I just mentioned which are kind of believing that. When you're ready to changes, you should just throw everything in the air and do it all at once. Right and that you're gonNA feel immediately different if you get a new job or if you've got a new partner, or if you move, and I always said that the first. First thing you have to do with the internal work internal before external, because you can get a job and a partner, and whatever it is and feel the same way you did before. If you haven't actually change your mindset and the way that you view yourself life in the world, so one mistake is not doing the internal work. I the second is expecting a new life to happen overnight I. Think we've grown up with this narrative I referenced earlier the Yellow Brick Road we've expected. Changed be very chronological or have driven process. I'll take one step, and then we'll be progress and I'll take another step, and it'll be progress, but I've seen people who when they believed that become completely rattled when the staff they took actually is a bit more like a step backwards and step forward great. The best analogy I can give is A. We think of life in terms of football. We think that we're supposed to move the ball forward forward forward, and then any backwards motion as a loss or failure, but the rest of the world play soccer, right. Here you actually move the ball backwards in order to kick it farther and kick it forward, and so that's another tip that I. Give people is to make sure that you understand. You may sometimes takes us backwards in order to turn this in your life, you may take a job that pays you less right now, or you may think a job that you thought was going to be perfect, and it turned out your miserable there. That's okay, right? Life is about figuring this kind of stuff out used masterclass called tear down the walls. It's one of a number of classes that you either still teacher or used to teach. Teach and I wonder what walls you advising people to tear down. Yes, in the book I give an example or a narrative about a crooked room right so imagine if you were in a wrong and this is an actual field Seti experiment that was done in the nineteen forties..