Abby Abby, Glennon, Albany discussed on Design Matters with Debbie Millman


To this very special. Episode of design matters the near state writers institute and the university at albany speakers. Series thank you. You're so played into being very excited to yard very excited to meet you too and my wife. Roxanne gay says hi. She's fans of both of you as well rate absolutely amazing together all of it everything that you really follow everything. Thank you glennon. I like to start by reading an excerpt from your latest book untamed. Which as of this interview has been on the new york times bestseller list for twenty eight weeks. Congratulations that is quite a feat. So i'd like to sit a stage for what am about to read for our listeners read large librarians dinner with a group of other prominent. You're there to talk about the launch of your upcoming book. Love her which recount your then. As i mentioned husband's infidelity and subsequent attempts at reconciliation and forgiveness. And there you are at this dinner sitting in your assigned seat despite your talent for public speaking. You don't like small talk and sitting in your seat about to eat a salad. Here is the excerpt as i'm reaching addressing. The children's book lady looks over at the door. I look over to. Suddenly a woman is standing there. Where nothingness used to be. She takes up the entire doorway the entire room the entire universe. She has short hair platinum on top shaved on the sides. She's wearing a long trench coat. A red scarf a warm half smile. Cool steel confidence. She stands there for a moment taking inventory of the room. I stare at her and then take inventory of my entire life. My whole being says there she is then. I lose control of my body. I stand up in. Open my arms wide. She looks over cocks. Her head to the side raises her eyebrows. Smiles at me. Fuck fuck fuck. Why am i standing. Why are my arms open. Oh my god what am i doing. I sit back down. She walks around the table and shakes hands with everyone when she gets to me. I stand up again. turn around face. her i'm abby. She says. I ask if i can hug her. Because what if this is the only chance she smiles and opens her arms. Then the smell. That will become home to me. Skin like powder and fabric softener blended with the will of her coat and her cologne and something that smelled like air like outdoors like crisp sky like a baby and a woman and a man and the whole world. The only seat left is at the far end of the table. So she walks away from me and sits down abby. My first question is t you tell us about your experience in that moment when you first met glennon what did you feel what did you think what did you experience with that hug. Tell us everything will leaving us. This event I usually like to see who's going to be at the event kind of pick out. The person was talk to the most straight and at the time. I was really struggling to figure out what i was. Gonna write in my book and part glennon sore. Her backstory was mashing. Mike current store at the time. So i kind of knew that there was made you get beat a person that i'd be able to connect with and when i got into the room and she stood up. She didn't write this in in the book but she actually ended up doing a little bit so nobody else stood up. So this is. This is most supreme awkward moment in all of awkward moments so because she stood up it kind of forced my hand in having to walk around the whole table to her because there again i felt bad right But as soon as i got to her There was something that was that was happening in a couldn't pinpoint the time you know. She asked if we could hug. We hugged and sat down and then throughout the entire dinner. I just felt so annoyed. I was not sitting right next to her curious about what the energy was happening. And then as the dinner on. I kept building a building and then We got literally three or four minutes to walk from that back room to the dais to the stage where we were gonna go. Try to sell our books to the library of america and it was an energy between us that was definitely both ways. You know schuman's many years sober. I was dealing with trying to get sober at the time. I was like a month sober and so i thought maybe our relationship would be based in sobriety and that she was made to get her mentor me through might early sobriety days and then you know i heard her speak and that is what changed it all for me on. If you've ever heard glennon speak it's hard not to fall in love with her and it's hard not to listen and cry and laugh within seconds so though that initial moment for me might not have been there. She is like she experienced. It definitely happened throughout the rest of that night. And i went home. I read love warrior. It was funny because the way love where the marriage redemptions like she figures it out with cragg in the end and at the end. I was like what i like at three o'clock in the morning. I like shot. The broken nose like can't be that on a stage. He wasn't line so my experience. Now i know that the very next time you met in person which was several months later you had both untangled yourselves from your previous marriages so you could be together but you did this before you even kissed for the first time and so in reading forward and reading wolfpack in reading untamed. There's there's not a lot of detail in those months. So i'm wondering if you can share just a little bit about how you started to move to threaten your lives together at that point so the wild thing is not just we had never kissed we had never been in the same room again freight until we both. We can tell that hotel room right. This isn't even in the book. But at the event abby having assistant to was dear french abbas assisted was watching from there was a thousand librarians in the hall that we were in and she watching me speak and she was watching. Abby react to me speaking so abby was kind of tearing up being very emotional and her assistant understood that audience with your very hard time at that point with sobriety. The assistant came up to me at the end of the event. Handed me her card and said. I don't know what's happening tonight. But i've never seen abby like this. And i just feel like she needs you in her life. Mrs unbeknownst to me i have no idea but my sister and i was stunned but i was also like well that makes two of us lady i that i should be an obviously the A few days later. I was just stunned by this experience for days. A few days later. I wrote an email to abby about sobriety about my experience early sobriety and i sent it to the assistant. Because i didn't know early surprise. Should i even be reaching out to her idaho. I said if you think that this is a good thing for her to read senate your. That's how we started emailing so than the assistant sent it to abby abby. Email me back. We ended up just writing to each other every single day. Just writing writing writing writing eventually. Abby later on put together all of our.

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