I would walk into a room. And i was the fat kid in the bullies at school made that very well known so i just kinda i think the seed was planted at that point just right there in the husky section of the clothing store letting me know that something was up in that when i started to become very self conscious about what i ate in how i looked. Gotcha man i see an you know. Kids can be cruel as we all know and learn in you know with our peer pressure and you know even if we have little ones and see what they go through through their formative years was that is it also fair to say that that was maybe an introduction in a negative way to labels the meaning of of of labels. I mean like you said you walked in the room. You're the fat kid right. Yeah that point. That's when i realized that on your determined based upon the way you look or the way that you behave and people lose sight of who you really are you're just signed a label and that's who you are. You have no personality at that point. You're nothing more than that label and for me. That was very difficult to understand it. Such a young age and it kind of coincided to with being a man and growing up with losing my dad it eleven years old. I didn't feel like. I had the label of being a man. So i felt like i was always trying to prove my masculinity and inc that just really also fueled the eating disorder in the the self doubts in the insecurities that i developed at a young age. Yes yes i gotcha. Wow okay so From what. I understand you've entered weight watchers like in your mid teens. Early teens late teens. Yeah yeah so. I was sixteen. It was right after. I started to learn how to drive. I was on the way to weight watchers. Gotcha now i think you may have mentioned. On on your blog you know having the overachiever mentality and and and having a mindset of really just you know adhering by rules Whatever the guidelines are following not just following the guidelines but shattering the guidelines. In being really vigilant about you know your routine in whatever endeavor you explorer right so So you did achieve some success We initially right through weight watchers. Yeah i did. I like i just had to push myself. One hundred percent was never enough and had to be one hundred and ten percent I remember just right away. A rate watchers when i was in those meetings and i we'd here just yet praised in the claps and it it was just such such a feeling that i wanted so i sat there on like i wanna lose this weight and i wanna lose asked so i think people maybe it will get me value. Maybe it will give me meaning and give me something to feel good about myself and it was successful. I lost a lot of weight and The problem was i hid it I acted like i was following plan but the whole time mistaking into the extremes with lots out point it was all about eating a certain number of points every day. Well i figured out that. If i shaved off a couple points here and there the pounds would melt away faster Hit behind the excuse..