JIM, Nuggets discussed on Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

I was like home. My gosh this notion that being a bully to yourself actually bathing yourself in shame. There's a jim. How is a person supposed to be capable or or to do more if they're shrouded in shame. That's jim what you said about. How if we're kind to ourselves. It enables growth another one. I'm just like i feel like i'm picking them up behind you as you go. It's so it's so amazing. But i know that men also struggle with feelings and emotion and that especially in our society men so often are basically pushed into the box of your only reasonable response to anything anger. And you can't have a sensitive feeling which i would imagine as the root of so much of the discomfort and violence. We see happening in gender roles in this country. How do you think you mentioned that. Women are so apologetic for having feelings because we have been made to feel so ashamed about being quote emotional and i think emotions are great. Because they're the root of empathy. I think of empathy as a superpower. But what what are some more of the things that you see in the differences between how men and women talk about their issues in therapy. What what do you think those differences speak to for us in society. How can we be aware of them. Yeah there really is a difference in terms of what. I skin the therapy room. But i wanna i to say something about when you talk about those little nuggets what you just said about women and joy that we have so much trouble being able to feel like we deserve to have joy almost feels indulgent right. And when you talk about you know women feeling like they're too emotional feelings. People tend to think they're good feelings and there bad feelings like a good feeling is joy and a bad feeling is like sadness or anxiety or even envy and i always say people. Your feelings are like a compass. They tell you where to go. Tell you what direction to go in. And so instead of trying to pretend that you're not feeling what you're feeling. Use your feelings. If you're feeling sad what is what is causing that. If you're feeling angry will did somebody cross a boundary of yours. Did you feel hurt. What happens right so it tells you what's not working so that you can figure out how to make things work even envy people say you know. Oh i don't want it fiscal especially for women. It's like very taboo. You can't feel envious of another person. But i say yes. Welcome the envy because it tells you what you want. It tells you something about desire and women are so afraid of desire. We're not allowed to have desire right. And so i say follow your envy because it tells you. Maybe i want something like that in my life and maybe i have permission. I can give myself permission to go after it and get it so. I just wanted to to say that because when you mentioned joy yes we really need to be able to own our joy and to be able to own desire but in terms of men and women. Here's something i'll see in the therapy row..

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