Mike, New York City, Don Talbot discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

You know where swapping nicer to me that day. Yeah so we learned nothing. I one time yelled at an uber driver. I women spend a period to him. I was in so much pain and I was I was. I was doubled over in pain and he was I. I'm so sorry I have to lay down. I'm trying not to throw the first day my period and I cannot and where do you don't talk about it 'cause supposed to be shameful. What am I it happens once a month? It's horrific and I'm in if I had just been like you know like mugged or if I like just broke my ankle I would be like angles broken broken. I'M GONNA be back here yelling in pain and this goes like what happens like every month. Don't you get used to it. And I fucking somehow then had the power all the way and I said let me explain this to you if at once a month this nation man. Yeah I was like what somebody would you might be sleeping. You might be in your office. You might be having sex ax. You may whatever you're doing at some point in the day once a month you don't know when a stranger is gonNA walk into the room you're in and grab your balls and twist them for eight hours nonstop just twisting your balls and you're not gonna be able to move and then he starts punching you in the stomach. And then he does that and then he just and then he comes back every every day for five days. When he's going to do it I go? He's like that's what the fuck it feels like. Okay I said so. Yeah we know it's coming but you don't get used used to it. It still sucks every single time and he goes up. I go yeah I do. You have a phone charger. Take Time so sorry. Anyway this water for Becker fight tissues. Thank you five star. What do you like In in public when we are walking around New York City like Sardines. If somebody bumps you can you take it. Meaning I I see people seem to go crazy. You know a stranger to another stranger. You could say skews me like that's GonNa make things okay all of a sudden you know. I have that with them headphones so when we were coming back from long island on the L. A.. Double Lar- There were people playing whatever the fuck they wanted right behind me no headphones so I go. You've got headphones. I have turn. You've got headphones. Oh I'm so sorry. And they turned it off. Okay I did that then. Of Of course the guilt sets them like they're just having the normal time they're they're happy with John like no headphones. All the phones come with headphones right but then we got on the train gene coming home and some guy was like very comfortable watching whatever movie he was watching Super Loud. And I'm like I'm not telling this dude to turn it off because I don't want to because I know the people behind me for some reason I could feel like dominate this guy. He's very comfortable and looking for someone it'd be like turning that off. Why so a guy in the subway? He was looking at porn on his shit and IPAD. Big and you know okay. Turn off your Whitney Houston use them but this guy yeah. Yeah wouldn't tell him at that point you're like watch because that's a mentally unstable person if they're doing that in in public they need to fix the watch that because we feel like if you don't have the porn simulation we on the train will become your porn got make trying to make porn with me. I'm GonNa Assume Your Dick in your pants because he'll porn on so please carry. Take my headphones. I don't even I don't I don't like it doesn't bother me when I hear somebody playing a game on the phone or playing music. What I enjoy in fact is is when somebody has their music little too loud but somebody else is upset by it and they fake? They exaggerate the being upset like Uh I enjoy that so much because now I'm on the music maker side because like tell him Don Talbot seen the convulsively like are they are they. Are you inhaling smoke. You know someone like like I get it. It's gross music thing. I the one time there was. It was an older white lady is younger black on the other side and she's watching something on her phone and she's playing music and older white lady and I will say that she was rushing so I mean you know I gotta I gotTa fucking problem with Russia always have always will never forgot. I never forgot. But so there's older woman says chickens like watching on our phone and this woman it wasn't even that loud she was the huffing and puffing and making sounds and then the chick just didn't turn her phone that music off and she finally only this woman just freaks out. She goes to pull you turn that off like a thick Russian accent. And they're like yeah she goes. I'll turn it down and she's like all the way of that is illegal and then she he stands up but usually it's illegal using the train and Mike. Well now. I think if like now you're just being like a crazy racist person. I'm like this is a weird weird thing where like the older immigrants are like Maga now so I was like I feel strange and I told her I go. I don't think that that's a long excuse me. Excuse me and I don't think that's a lot I think you're I think and so there. It's a weird thing but as a white Mike you know I'm trying to be like a wealth like white whatever but then I'm like do I say something then I'm like I don't want to but this chick I just was like. Everyone on the train. Name just was kind of looking at her Mike. I'm going to stand up for the music person here. Just because I don't like Russians but yeah I would think it's not a law. It's not illegal interested in grace's story just then but I think it's it's just as much a law as don't put your feet up on another chair. Yeah so it. It says it in their weird scroll of what not to do on a train but I still put my feet up on the train. Yeah I got yelled at the other day. The train stuff is like so straight to get yelled at for crossing my legs. Some guy got on the train and fucking went off on me and that takes a-plus room though I had my legs crossed. And he bumped into my files and he had a a lot of bags with him again homeless or hipster our game and hit me with on his bags and I was like and he goes. Oh I'm sorry and I said that's fine. And as he was was walking by me his leg hit my foot and I go. Oh I'm sorry and there were there. Were maybe three of us in the little train car. Not a lot of people and I go. I'm sorry that my foot at you and he sits down right next to me and he goes that people are going to trip on your foot. Oh my God I was like well. Yeah now we are off to the races now not on your side. My stop was the next up but I stayed for two more stops. Yes because he was the first man. Tell me how the fuck I'm sit on a train. It was late at night. And it's like okay. I'm sorry I've been raped and sexually assaulted in my own apartment. So you're not going to tell me what I went off. I was an abuse eight. Oh yeah well what I said as I go I go well. We're just taking a cue from you guys have been man's breading for years on the train so we're taking the streets back and there's a chick across from me and she kind of laughed and I was like we're taking and this guy he could've beat the shit out of me and he had an eye patch on. He was this crazy for sure and I was like I kill but whatever he gives switching guy pets from one to the other guy. Got Your number. Oh but then it was and then he wouldn't let it go and so then I was like let me try to defuse this just because I was first of all scared he was gonna hit me okay and size trying to make a joke. We're taking the streets back or whatever and I I we're going to have our legs all spread out manned spreading like you guys do and he's a yeah. I saw chick do that. Shit that's nasty and then I said well what are we going to do. What's the first year period? I got a big old bloody diaper on. I gotTA spread out and I mean then. I leaned hard into period. Talk and like just let me out crazy him so that I don't feel like I'm GonNa get fucking murdered on the train. HOW DID IT END I? He gave me a business card goal. Deliver electronics thanks to your personal homes. Some city we became friends. I was like you should talk and I'm like oh I'll move my foot when and I want to and then he sits right next to me and I'm like Shit it's midnight. I'm in the car. There's a dude next Mike. You can have a weapon like I watched my fucking mouth. You know yourself doing doing that like you'll you'll spout off a minute but now I got to stick with your this guy why now I watch it all the time. I mean I try to watch it. But that's the problem honestly with with the with the brain chemistry going that. I'm a lot more aggressive. I generally like I'm not. I'm not always sure when to be like bigger than myself. Because sometimes sometimes that does make them go away like there. There have been times where I'm being followed and I. I did the right thing I turned around and I said I see there. You know like just acknowledging I don't I don't I'm not being passive about this. I just took a chance and it did stop them and slowed down and then I stopped seeing him. I also stopped opted a construction site and said like somebody's following me guys like being against other guys when they're the hero so that helps a lot. Yeah but I think a lot of times you. You have to be aggressive so that they don't think that you're an easy mark or maybe feels that way but I have stopped people from following doing that. Yeah I see somebody play music. Could you your cancelled to think about what that means a canceled. Does this thing where if if you're littering you blatantly only like you throw your McDonald's wrapper on the ground or whatever he'll go you drop that you want to pick it up. See that's the thing because there is a big. He's like egg teddy bear. Yeah nobody knows that. No No. He's like the sweetest Guy Obamacare and so somebody he was like pick up that trash. Everyone would be like yes sir. It's really weird. He also has like he lives in this giant building right and so people and they always have. They smoke weed at the stairwell. But he's like you know times have changed. You're allowed to smoke on the corner so now when he when he does when that happens. He's like listen. You're going to get us all fucked because of this because you're smoking on the in the stairwell when you take that outside outside. No one's going to bother you. The police are not going to be looking for you. Take this outside. You're in the building Blah Blah Blah. And they're like who to because they're teenagers eighteen ninety two doing like it. I'm GONNA fucking care he goes. I'm in whatever apartment I'm like I. I'm in this building in this apartment number. You can knock on my fucking door anytime and get the fuck out of the stairwell and I'm like Holy Shit so usually does but he also goes and this is you know he's he's been in that building forever he goes. I know your mother get the Fuck Outta here. So they do like we forget that we're the adults in these children's lives and these the these guys have a camaraderie of like growing up in the same building like being in the same building a long time so he looking like he does can tell this kid looking like he does those things I I can't you know it's it's it's very different so I don't know does it. Like you said he's a teddy bear but it's not like these are now. That's why I think it's important for you know all women to carry guns. PSA that's this is what we're talking about guns when you start your period for the first time however Weapons permits when you get it. You had to lock it up on a month. Maybe it's attached to the the APP that's locked for four days. Speaking of cancelling US others headline bothered me from CNN. Chick-fil-a laid-back Lash is nothing short of cancel culture..

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