John Reichert, Christian Clifford, Officer discussed on Weekend Edition Saturday
Four children that didn't even register. My mind that was dead. Nothing makes sense after that. So. The coal record had recently, married officer, John Reichert of the Asheville North Carolina police. He was a recovering alcoholic, but he drank the ninety took his life. She got a phone call from one of his lieutenants, and he goes, well, John is gone, and it appears to be self inflicted. And I said, what are you talking about the night before? John and I talked about going to his concert for his favorite band him getting another tattoo. The women were drawn together over the internet because of the loss they still share. They say their husbands felt more and more strain on the job police. No. They're not popular in many communities, the national conversation about race and policing has put their actions, under constant scrutiny that man slowly became a different person because of the work that day to day interaction of people yelling at him and calling him names and throwing things at him malicious Wales, says her husband would go from one call to the next one crime or trauma to another than watch video from his body Cam at night. Not only did experience, Dave David, your re-experience it on loading at all. And I remember thinking. Looking at this man thinking, I don't know how you can do this and sadly. After so much time he couldn't Aaron Gibson had to leave her husband because of all the pain he turned on himself us under so much stress at work. So whenever he was home. He was drinking and he drank drank drank until he passed out, and I have memories, a film, pacing, the floors, just pacing pacing, pacing back and forth. It was frightening. You never talked to anyone including me about it. And that was the problem. Christian Clifford in her friends say, their husbands all put on masks to go to work. He was the joke star. He was the happy one. I was just getting messages from one of his co-workers how they still talk about him and how much they miss him because he was just always making them laugh are all our husbands were like there's certain personality. I think it takes to do that job police officer, they're very like service oriented people, I think, to begin with we've discussed privately like a lot of our husband did suffer a lot of childhood trauma, that I think give lead them to the and have a good childhood. Right. They want to help families. John put everyone else first police officers. Ultra have the means to end their lives. At their fingertips, their husbands used to gun to use their service whip if they had to wait and figure out a way. Maybe they would have changed their minds, but it's right there. And as a mother of four boys that scares me, because our children are more according to research, more likely divisive site. So that's always kind of in the back of my mind, because, of course, we're all human, we're going to have those dark times start moments. But. I'd rather my kids, learn to reach for a phone or feature something else instead of, but they say many police officers won't talk to accounts, their therapist, your priest even when encouraged by their departments. Melissa Swail says when she suggested it to her husband, I remember he looked at me and said, are you crazy I to them? Not only could I lose my job. I'm coins to never promote other gonna bench me, not to mention my colleagues might my brothers gonna look at me as a liability. Nobody's gonna wanna work with me through their loss and grief. The women have grown to feel police commanders should speak openly about their own metal struggles and encourage officers to seek regular metal counseling. They're all struggling sorry. But anyway, any authors says they're not. They're lying to themselves like they're all dealing with something. Right. So they may get a normal thing, and it's okay to talk about it, then then they would all talk about just like you would go qualify. Right. All of our husbands had to qualify monthly to, to shoot radio. They have you maybe that's just a normal thing, not because you're, you're not fit for duty. It's just because it needs to become a normal part of their culture, and their routine. Their daily weekly you, you know, I've now receive services from the police department, but I'm just like gosh darn, it, it should be it should have been you four friends of spoken and checked on each other every day for two years. But this was the first time that. Ever actually met the Mark the occasion. That.