Brooklyn, DAX, United States discussed on Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum
And it took me a while and if I if I had kept in that kind of mode well then I don't get Brooklyn nine nine and Brooklyn nine nine has given me a gift that is above and beyond. I mean I have a new family. I've gone through life. Changes changes several of US have gotten married. Several of US have gotten had kids including myself if I had like fuck it. I'm not going in. That is not open to me anymore. That's not here. And that's a very humbling place to be when you're like Now I'm getting it the struggles real even after. You think you've made the big time not the big time at like Super Bad. It's super bad them like that movie was huge. I'm like oh well here. We go the only matter of time now sir getting the calls here they come. They don't come. You still have to go in you all that stuff so you just have to keep it in check because no-one owes you anything no is going to give you the money for the movie movie. No one's going to write the script for you. No one's going to like create the ideal part for you. You find it you get it or just file or if you don't know how how to get it. Follow things that are coming at you are opening up to you and maybe that will lead you there. There was there was a lot of that stuff going on for me about seven years years ago. I don't think I've ever listen that hard in my life Ryan I noticed you too. I noticed energy shift. What you just said it was worth the whole podcast and worth it to me? And I know worth it to Ryan because that Shit right there is is so vital and whether or not it's it's whether you're now you're not or you're right when your ego gets gets in the way the ego my fucking eagles got in the way of so many things where I'm like even on his all even talk about this podcast like now in the beginning of like. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't sound the good i. Don't we hear my voice. I never listened to my voice but I've gotten so many responses and people's lives have changed and it gives me purpose and I love it. DAX Get so many more listeners than I do I start comparing comparing you start comparing her since does he well. He's a bigger star than you. That's why gets bigger listeners. I know but he got the idea from my pocket he also had but so but he's great and for some reason he's got a bigger audience than you. So what and then I'm like I know I love I love me deserves I love DAX is one of my best friends but I guess it's kind of jealous. I'm like God it is. I'm GONNA be honest. I I wish I got. I love my podcast. I think I'd do a really good job. I think people enjoy it. I want more listeners to the listeners. The lesson I learned was play as soon as you realize that there's abundance you'll be all right with that. There's room really for everybody. Everybody so dax absolutely deserves serves that course that podcast. He's great at it and you're great at this so there's just room for everybody. I mean. That's a big lesson borrow from him. Sure can I just you say dad. Just give me five percent of your audience. Five percent of DAX's audience come over here come on over because by the way. My fans are so loyal in there. The listeners listeners are so low and Jen from legendary film. So I met with about some projects weeks ago. I got an email from her today. Saying I love the podcast cows and listen to it. It's so good and I'm like Oh my God so people are listening and I love it. I'M NOT GONNA stop. I don't care if it's like not as long as one person's listening whoever you more out there I really loved doing it so whether I make a lot of money or no money or whatever. I'm going to continue to do this because I really love talking to people and you could tell you could tell. Oh I just like it. I'd like to do this. My whole life. How great is it to you know to have an intimate conversation with interesting people? Some which have a history like myself others. He met for the first time. It's the best you says. Something remind me of another story about comparison and jealousy. It's I guess ninety. Oh No it's actually far than that's two thousand. The state is long done. I've been doing like commercials here and there. You know maybe an independent film here some voice over nothing very exciting And yet I see all my state compatriots kind of doing their working working. Yeah I get this audition for a movie. It's wings beer league. I am in the audition. The caching director and I I won't name name says okay. We're GONNA WE'RE GONNA slate and then we're going to You insulate your name. I'm going to ask you some questions. And then we're going to go into the disdain by the way. Don't there's no improving. They really stick to the script. I'm like all right sure so Hi Joe Trillo. Yeah Joe and so you were a member of the state member states comedy met at Nyu and so so many of your compatriots are like working at Reno nine one one and some did and everyone seems to be like working except for you. The slater twenty by the way the cameras on me. I was that all about. I'm like well you know I'm just trying to do nothing. You know literally inside them like Brady. I'm a furious like this ego and the comparison is just coming out in full force because this question and I just decided well you know I'm just doing my thing And in my head I decided. Oh I'm gonNA be Improv now. I don't there's no sticking to the script now I ended up booking the part and it was it was. It was a really good feeling knowing that. When you're up against it and the throw an egg on your face and they're just really kind of beating just stand up? Come come come out now in her defense. I don't think she meant to make me feel that way. I don't know she just wasn't a good interview. I don't think she was a good interviewer and I were very aware of the terrible insecurities of actors the level of comparison. That goes on with us every every minute of the day. I don't I don't I don't you know I'm painting her as a terrible person. She's not I'm sure but that was a terrible moment for me That I came out and I rose out of the ashes Phoenix the Phoenix. Do you think that. Do you think doctors look at other doctors and go. I'm I'm just as good of a doctor. A similar don't have as many patients. How how much is he making? I'm like I went to any heart. Surgery did rendezvous. I want the University of Pittsburgh. Yeah I mean I went to Saint. John's I mean I think everybody does it though don't they. Yeah I think every everybody whether you're driving a ups truck doc. Same thing it's like he's making more than me. I bust my ass. They work twice as hard as he is. Comparison Jealousy. They're just monsters man but you know what look I still get it about just able to be like. That's what I'm feeling now. You still get it right you let let it let you know that. It's going to dissipate jealousy. Yeah you know what uh I it's getting less and less it really it. Surely it's evaporating because I'm I'm really going. What does it matter? What is it is honestly feel like? You're probably in the right place right now. I'm getting there because I I really feel like when I'm eighty and I die. What is all these things matter? What is what is the house matter and and jobs that I've done? What matters is the memories friendships and the things that the enjoyment of life? Yeah the taking living being not going through the motions not trying to compare not trying to be someone but being the best you can be being the best human you could be giving and trying to love. And that's those those are the things I'm working on. So when my agent gets mad and says dude you know you WANNA work again. Do you WanNa like him. I I I am writing horror script right now. I'm I'm pitching the script scripted. I wrote for TV. Undoing animated series that my friend Harland. I am doing to podcasts. This is what I WANNA do. But that's not where the big bread and butter money comes from. You know to Spielberg calls. You let me know answer that fucking call. Yeah I'm lucky by the way this isn't like look dude. I've said this if I am like broke and someone goes we S. I'll do anything. I don't care what it is at Burger King to make money. I don't care that's how my momentarily was work work work but then I got to a point where look look. I'm not fucking like Brooklyn nine nine. Who knows what the fuck I'm just saying? I don't have the kind of money where I could just I can be. I'm comfortable right now table that I don't have to just I have to work. I have some fuck you money right. I don't know how much fuck yeah. It's not that for me for me. You know Many goals for career. But for me is to Brooklyn nine is just amazing. You know is to have a great job obviously and and with people that you love but you know you don't have control over that. Ideally I'd love to have a nice savings of money so like if jobs come along I really don't WanNa do. I can see okay. No I want to work on this movie. I think for many actors many vote many people in creative arts. I think have that goal. That's realistic realistic. No one wants to do anything they don't WANNA do. I think part of the reason. Maybe it's easier for the jealousy to go away now. It's like well you know what I'm like in your twenties. You don't know convy everything is possible. You don't know what you WanNa do and you see people doing all. That looks cool. That was cool. That looks great. I'll do that. I'll do that. You get older and you're like Oh actually we WANNA do this and I'm doing it you know I'm I'm writing my movie and it makes it easier and you're not comparing. Yeah you know I also think that the right play after twenty. Five years of whatever and forty-seven deer has to come a moment where you go. Oh.